Thanks for the feedback! That's super helpful! For the first two comments I didn't notice my typos lol, and "seeks" was meant to be "seeps"

I'll definitely look into that book you spoke of and thanks for the examples of better ways to add more character to it. 
I'm gonna put work into that character development and hopefully that will help bring them to life.
once again thanks though, as getting helpful advice like this is exactly why I started this learning experience :D