Character Sheet Part Deux because suddenly as soon as I post we're pretending to care about rules. [center][h1]WELL LA DEE FRICKEN DA[/h1] [img]https://media.tenor.com/8ukD4cDQmUkAAAAM/well-ladafrickinda.gif[/img][/center] [u][i][b]Name[/b][/i][/u]: Dangerrutito Fontaniuxic [u][i][b]Race[/b][/i][/u]: Homo-Superior-As-Fuck [u][i][b]Age[/b][/i][/u]: Like 40 but possessed a 27 year old Magical Future Russian guy [i][u][b]Attributes:[/b][/u][/i] S [b]Megalomaniacal:[/b] Through sheer irrational unreasonable confidence the man known as Danger, Danger Fontaine, prior to his transformation into Dangerrutito Fontaniuxic, was capable of sustaining unreasonable damage and persisting through that damage. Decades of steroid abuse probably helped too. The man known as Danger, Danger Fontaine, prior to his transformation into Dangerrutito Fontaniuxic, was able to violate the boundaries of physics and reason and good taste as easily as Bill Clinton does the institution and boundaries and history and that type shit of an Internship by punching harder, kicking also harder, kicking ass also also harder, and just generally being a kick ass muhfuka of a dude. [b]Banished Bastard Son:[/b] With the loss of his bastard child B-Rad, banished beyond the realms of sight and sound to a twilight zone, sort of like from the television show called The Twilight Zone, the man then known as Danger, Danger Fontaine bent his will toward achieving more power and doing things more Big Leagueier. Finding that no earthly power could allow him to avenge the loss of his bastard son, and thus his only hope of ever banging his bastard son's mom again (or even remembering what her name was, pretty sure it had an E or an A in it), he sought strength from the stars. Eventually doing a lot of totally rad type shit culminating in him astrally projecting himself into the body of some very Magical and vaguely Future Russian guy in the future. That guy was also like a Power Ranger or something. Hard to tell. But with that new body he did a lot of deep lore type stuff that culminated in him kinda sort rescuing his bastard child's soul but also kinda sorta fusing his bastard child's soul into a Q-Bramble Blade, also known as a Q-BramBlade, but this specific one was named after his dead and banished and soul fused to a sword bastard son B-Rad. It was named Trilobisekni. [b]Power Ranger Type Shit:[/b] Magical Future Russian dude was like a Power Ranger, or a God, or Boba Fett, or maybe some kind of tyrannical slave trader or something. Not really clear on that. But now Danger, Danger Fontaine is Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic and has a space ship somewhere in the Double Deep Jeiti and also knows a lot of weird words like Jeiti that didn't exist before but now most fully do exist and it's pretty radical. Ranger Blaster and weird little sword that is also an ocarina or some shit. Probably like a crossbow. Power Ranger type shit stuff. [i][u][b]Equipment:[/b][/u][/i] [b]Trilobisekni:[/b] Neoborhilliumium Manticulated with obnoxious precision into an Q-Bramble blade, sometimes referred to as a Q-Bramblade, polished to an intrinsically implausible sheen, it was his ultimate adytum. It went by many names. The Blade of Legend. The Sword of Myth. The Katana of Dread. The Loosener of Shackles. The Remover of Bras. The Sabre of the Downtrodden. The Zweihander of the Einhanded. Fucking Cool Sword Bro. Trapped within it the soul of his Bastard Child, B-Rad. Ever pleading in perfect iambic pentameter to be loosed upon the world. It's name was Trilobisekni. Only one such as he, Dangerrutito Fontaniuxic, could wield such a blade and only with it could any being even dream of performing the famed but also completely unheard of and just super mysterious and secretive manuever known only as the Hiden Doblee Triplut Forbidan Yin Releese Ohm-Mega. Seriously though this isn't just flavor text. Trilobisekni will not work for anyone else. It'll just go all limp and floppy and useless and no one wants that, trust me brother, I could tell you stories but they're all deeply shameful and telling them makes me cry when I'm alone at night and I end up eating a full pint of Chunke Monke all one in my Superman underoos wondering how come daddy left us. Don't try and steal it is what I'm trying to say. It can probably teleport away from your dumbass or something too. B-Rad already lost his dad once so his disembodied and soul trapped soul probably isn't gonna hang out with you. You nerd. You L7 weenie. I'm not crying you're crying. [b]Fontaniuxiciccix 4[/b] Atramentously Vantablack like a hole punched through the otherwise, comparatively, actually quite bright total darkness of deep space, the Fontaniuxiciccix is an Alderson Disk, though Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic sometimes calls it an Alfredo Disk. An astronomical megastructure with absurd near limitless power, alas Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic broke the key off in the door to the Extra-Double-Actually-Genocidal Control Room and is now left with less than an Eighth of its facilities. That's still a hell of a lot though. It's like several football fields. Its mass is probably greater than the mass of your sun unless you have just a super humongous sun. Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic mostly uses it to store his Zords and equipment and trophies and sometimes have a bitching party or two. It also has a really nice snack bar. [b]Aromatic-Polyamide Weave [u]NOT[/u] Power Ranger Suit[/b] All scientifical. Skintight suit of Aromatic-Polyamide Weaved Technical Suit Things. I cannot over emphasize how tight it is. You can see like veins and stuff through it it's so tight. Yet also very resilient. Excellent at heat dispersal allowing him to just plummet from space onto a planet with naught but the faintest, and slightly arousing, warmth. Like a Black Power Ranger uniform except it's also like hooked into his brain or suit or soul or something (possibly his ass) so it can change colors and designs at his beck and call. It's not alive or anything. Definitely not self aware and slowly consuming his consciousness and biological components for some nefarious future scheme. That's canon, that it's not doing that. It also has a Recursive Diolunium Dial. What purpose it serves is unclear but Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic is forever fiddle fucking around with it. Due to his vaguely Russian Future Magic Thaumic Tech and also body Dangeruttito Fontainiuxic is able to interface with his suit just so fucking fast you would be shocked by how fast those two interface. It may have something to do with that rumor about it porting directly up into his butt. But that may just be fake news, I'm not gonna ask him. [b]Panoptic Hex Texx-Gogs[/b] Also known as his Goggles, Goggs, Goggos, Seers, and Oakleys. They allow him to zoom in, zoom out into Third Person somehow, or "Enhance," whatever that means, and have Night Vision, Thermal Vision, Day Vision, and also a Color Blind mode to ensure full accessibility for the differently abled. Also just so many other vision modes that the little Thaumic AI or Demon or enslaved genetically grown and ritually bound Proto-Biblical Angel (like the ones that some kind of Four Dimensional Series of Interlocked Rings with eyes all over them constantly ringing or something. The trippy shit that looks like a Yugi-Oh designer smoked meth and worked a bender to come up with) flips through rapidly to acquire and maintain targeting on opponents. Kinda nifty, maybe a war crime, maybe sacrilegious, maybe disproves the existence of God and clarifies that we really are all ultimately out here alone spinning around on a fuck off big dipshit space rock in an unfathomable sea of nothing waiting for pure happenstance to crash another fuck off big dipshit space rock into us and end this miserable fucking experiment once and for all and hallelujah for that am I right, but definitely nifty though. Outfitted with a Xeogenix Toggle allowing him to instantaneously manipulate the Muon Input through the full spectrum of Muu, carefully so as to avoid a full on Muonnic Conclipse. [b]Thaumic VocoRecordoer[/b] Integrated into his suit or maybe chest or throat or something, it allows Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic to make his voice sound like less of a bitch. Vital tech. Also allows him to speak directly to anyone on his team through brain waves or some shit. It's a vaguely future Russian Thaumic yada yada type deal. You might want to know more about it but I ain't wanna be telling you none and Dangerrutito doesn't know how it works he just knows that it does work. Dangerrutito is an idiot. Or a genius. Depending on which is most convenient in the moment. [u][i][b]Passive Abilities[/b][/i][/u] [b]Ultima-Counteruuu[/b] A secret passed on to the Magical Future Russian guys people, who are Magical Future Russians, they learned it from Secret Alien Ninjas From The Long Distant But Double Futuristic Past, it allows Dangeerutito Fontainiuxic to counter whatever it is you are trying to do. All of the things. Including that. Sadly as the Magical Future Russian he possessed was the last of his kind, and all the Secret Alien Ninjas From The Long Distant But Double Futuristic Past died in an unfortunate Muonnic Conclipse or some shit who fucking cares the important thing is they're all seriously just dead as fuck, Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic is the last and only practitioner of the Ultima-Counteruuu. This ancient art will die with him. [i][u][b]Special Moves:[/b][/u][/i] [b]Hiden Doblee Triplut Forbidan Yin Releese Ohm-Mega:[/b] [sub] [i]shhhhh, it's a secret, a thaumic secret[/i] [/sub] [b]FUCKIN MORPHIN' TIME BITCHES:[/b] Not quite remembering the series Power Rangers correctly this is the phrase Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic shouts just before doing some weird weebish hand and finger gestures and whistling a tune to summon one of his Zords. That is a series of increasingly preposterously large and inexplicably humanoid shaped robots that all do mostly the same things he does but more biggly and to increasingly ludicrous proportions. Generally whatever magic space God currently ruling indicates is within Tier. For me. And no one else. Huzzah! His soul trapped bastard son sword thing, Trilobisekni, also grows way bigger for reasons that are not self evident. It also has a soul gun (which is powered by the souls of his vanquished enemies or any random disembodied souls he finds wandering around) and is capable of [s]destroying skyscrapers or office buildings in a single shot and/or massive quantities of unarmed civilians if they are all gathered, against their will or otherwise, in a sufficiently small space.[/s] destroying entire galaxies in a single shot and/or just like really really messing up your weekend plans. Which would then power the gun up. Very convenient. It is named the Galaxy Gun, due to its power. Or GG for short, which is an acronym. If that is too powerful he has a series of other gun with names like Universe Gun, Planet Gun, Your Mom's Fat Ass Gun, Country Gun, State Gun, City Gun, City Block Gun, Normal Block Gun, Large Building Gun, Small Building Gun, and Crack Den Gun. Their names are self explanatory. In this form he is known as Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic Mooora Beeeegaruuuuuu. Other Stuff That's Important: (and yes I changed the format, I can't be bothered to do all that for these stupid ass revisions) [b]Zetaproctal Universal Kinesohypothetical Drive[/b] Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic has a Future Russian Thaumic Zetaproctal Universal Kinesohypothetical Drive. Do not call it a Z Drive or a ZUK Drive. That is reductive and rude. Call it by the full name or shut your mouth. Please and thank you. His Zetaproctal Universal Kinesohypothetical Drive allows him to move in "sync" with everyone on his team if he so chooses. Precisely how it functions is deliberately unclear but it double definitely does so please just move on now. [b]Basically Just A Bad Ass You Guys[/b] Dangerrutito Fontainiuxic is a Homo-Superior-As-Fuck. That wasn't just a dumb joke. It is a dumb joke but it's not just that. Meaning like Human But More Better As Fuck, and no other weird stuff. It doesn't mean any weird shit. That's all rumors. It's all hearsay. I object. Side bar. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!! But this means he is like 40 times stronger than the strongest human that ever lived. He can move at whatever the in-Tier maximum is for whatever the Tier he's fighting in is. He's also very intelligent, like he makes 1940 (or whatever I don't do history that's for nerds) Albert Einstein look like 2026 Joe Biden in the brains department. That begs the question why is he locked out of most of his ship but that's a conundrum for another day. [b]His Shit Is Extra Cool Because All His People Got Assploded Or Sum Shit[/b] It is canon, for now, that all of his people died in a big cataclysmic planet explosion type deal. Maybe a Muonnic Conclipse, I dunno I wasn't paying attention when I wrote this shit. I'll edit it into my character sheet later, after it's been submitted I mean, because that's an OK thing to do. It might have been Super Space AIDs actually. Or they actually did leave the oven on and were pretty much sure they turned it off but they didn't, they left it on and it burned the whole planet down. Or maybe he just killed them all so that no one would be able to hack or decode his cool doohickeys and shit. Anyway the important thing is there aren't any other living members of vaguely Future Thaumic Quasi-Russian whatever I'm calling this Race alive anywhere. Because of that no one can hack or decode his cool doohickeys and shit. Very convenient. [b]Oh Neat Me Too[/b] This allows Dangerrutito to do all the blatant absurdly out of any even vaguely reasonable tier stuff that others in any given fight can do. It is either a super helpful ability or completely useless depending on if anyone in the fight tries to like fiddle fuck with space time or manipulate space and dimensions or do some pansdimensional (sp) shit or say they can fight with multiple Gods for days back to back without getting tired or summon portals or be a Star Diety. Shit like that. Either a super handy catch all or a complete waste of time depending on stuff. Good old stuff.