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Old 09-17-2008
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Iron Ork Iron Ork is offline
The Ambassador of Crazy
 
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Gaurok ended the brief standoff with a rude gesture, and when the orc stalked off to one end of the ship, he sat back down. Scrabblit crept back out of the rigging and sat in his boss' shadow.

A few hours in, Gaurok woke with a snort. His belly was rumbling. A glance over the rail showed him open waters, and a thought occurred to him. Thinlings fish in rivers and lakes, and catch small fish. Now this, this is like a really big lake. Maybe it's got really big fish?

He poked Scarbblit with a finger like a brautwurst sausage. The gnoblar, to his credit, woke up fast and alert, ready to dive, duck, bribe, or just leg it. Bribe was the right answer. "Uh, we'z got, um, dis bitey thing? Sorry boss, we'z runnin' low. Didn't stay in dat wossit place long enurf ta get much." He dragged a dead squig out of the bag, bigger than a man's head.

"Dat'll do. We gonna try ta catch a fish. Thinlings use worms and stuff, so I guess fish ain't picky." He had a lot of odds and ends on his belt. He picked an iron hook, and speared the squig on it. A length of chain the width of a man's arm made a fishing line, and the hook was tossed off the back rail. Holding the end of the chain, Gaurok watched the hook sink.

A minute later, Scrabblit got bored. "Uh, boss, 'ow long do fish 'untin' take? Coz, um, we ain't really got anyfing left 'sides this bread stuff an', an' dat pinky leg you sed not to let anywun see coz dey'd get all shouty and you wuz tired of hittin' all dem people wif da pokey farm forky fings."

This was practically a speech, coming from a gnoblar. "Wot? I dunno. Lookit that, there's dat thing again."

"Wot fing, Boss?"

"Dat thing. The big fish thing down there. He's after the hook." The chain yanked, and Gaurok yanked back. He yanked harder. It didn't take long to pull the biggest, ugliest fish Gaurok had ever seen onto the deck, where it lay gasping.

"Gor, dat's an ugly bugger, Boss! Wot is it?"

Gaurok looked skeptically at it as he drew a meat cleaver the size of a battleaxe from his belt. "Well, I reckon it's lunch. It's big, at least, an' it ain't fightin' back." He chopped at the middle of the fish experimentally. It exploded into a frenzied thrashing, and Scrabblit was back up the rigging again, screaming.

"AAAAAEEEEEE KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!"

Gaurok kicked it in the head, which didn't seem to do much, so he beat on it with his club until it stopped moving. By then, it looked even uglier. Carving off a handful, he munched on it thoughtfully. He gave the verdict: "Dat's not bad." The resulting feast was gruesome and messy in the extreme, though he showed some restraint and left a chunk to the side for more bait.
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"There are three kinds of plan. The fast plan, the good plan, and the sneaky plan. The fast plan works because by the time anyone knows you're there, you're already stabbing them in the face. The good plan works because they know you're going to stab them in the face, but they can't do anything about it. The sneaky plan works because while you were listening to me explain all this, I stole your sandwich."

Last edited by Iron Ork; 09-18-2008 at 07:27 AM.
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