This is what I started off with: (link because the image is too large)
http://img29.picoodle.com/img/img29/...im_32549e5.jpg
I tried to take your advice as best I could. Took me a while but that's what I came up with.
As for yours, well,
it's one of yours. Around here that seems to have become a pretty good water mark for quality. I'll give it a 9.5/10 (always room for improvement)
.