Relationship goal

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Originally Posted by Ruby

Good guys tend to come onto a girl without self confidence or much aggression displayed at all. If there's a reason most good guys get friendzoned, maybe start there. So kinda what Turt said, just from a different aspect.

It's funny, too. You'd think the 'Good Guys' would get we don't necessarily want the bad boy or douche guy...it's the afore mentioned confidence, and the male aggression, we're after. They don't have to be jerks.

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But here's the problem, everything makes nice sense when you write or talk about it, but what about reality?

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the "its all confidence" theory, and I think its bullshit. Yes, confidence is an important factor, but there are many other things and also consider that many girls may seek something opposite of this confidence (ergo: girls are fucking hard to figure out sometimes). There is something else, behind the confidence, that draws girls to undesirables, I can't even begin to guess what that is but Ive seen it. The same thing can exsist for guys too, I knew someone was a bad person but I still desperately would seek a relationship with them.

I'm rambling, my ultimate point I want to make is that all this relationship advice stuff is nonsense, it dependent on you, who your after, and your environment. Confidence or no confidence, in the right situation, something can work out.

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Originally Posted by Toellner

But here's the problem, everything makes nice sense when you write or talk about it, but what about reality?

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the "its all confidence" theory, and I think its bullshit. Yes, confidence is an important factor, but there are many other things and also consider that many girls may seek something opposite of this confidence (ergo: girls are fucking hard to figure out sometimes). There is something else, behind the confidence, that draws girls to undesirables, I can't even begin to guess what that is but Ive seen it. The same thing can exsist for guys too, I knew someone was a bad person but I still desperately would seek a relationship with them.

I'm rambling, my ultimate point I want to make is that all this relationship advice stuff is nonsense, it dependent on you, who your after, and your environment. Confidence or no confidence, in the right situation, something can work out.

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It's probably because they want a guy that doesn't take any shit, in some cases, in hopes of having a bad guy/douchebag in public, but some sweet teddy bear when they are alone.

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Originally Posted by Rilla

It's probably because they want a guy that doesn't take any shit, in some cases, in hopes of having a bad guy/douchebag in public, but some sweet teddy bear when they are alone.

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You could be on to something, but again, I don't even WANT to try understanding it. I would like to keep my head intact.

I used to date a few 'bad guys.' The first one ever I was...16? I remember the first time he gave me butterflies. He was picking on me outside of school, and without a word or sign of warning he picked me up like I weighed five pounds, and twirled me around before hugging me tight.

OMFG. Butterflies. <3

To me, that's the 'undefined' quality you're talking about Toellner. I characterize it as aggression; not all females characterize it that way. But male aggression is also highly prized in what culture? Hispanic. So I may be all kinds of normal...just, you know, an Coconut.

And I think more and more girls, at least around me that I know, are starting to realize some of those good guys have that quality...they just need to know it's okay to let it loose. And I think the way we're all hyperconnected to each other helps, too. I know more girls into comics and videogames than ever before. When I was 13 and into that stuff, I was a class A freak. Now it's more common, and letting various sorts of girls expand and diversify what they want.

Look at the Loki lust. Look at the Time Lord desire.

So part of it's the guy, part of it's the girl. Part of it's the culture, and at least it seems like the culture is beginning to shift. Even at a glacial pace.

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Originally Posted by Toellner

You could be on to something, but again, I don't even WANT to try understanding it. I would like to keep my head intact.

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Same principle as 'Lady in public, freak in the bedroom.'

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Originally Posted by Toellner

But here's the problem, everything makes nice sense when you write or talk about it, but what about reality?

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the "its all confidence" theory, and I think its bullshit. Yes, confidence is an important factor, but there are many other things and also consider that many girls may seek something opposite of this confidence (ergo: girls are fucking hard to figure out sometimes). There is something else, behind the confidence, that draws girls to undesirables, I can't even begin to guess what that is but Ive seen it. The same thing can exsist for guys too, I knew someone was a bad person but I still desperately would seek a relationship with them.
I'm rambling, my ultimate point I want to make is that all this relationship advice stuff is nonsense, it dependent on you, who your after, and your environment. Confidence or no confidence, in the right situation, something can work out.

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An enigma wrapped within a mystery... why must everything be so fucking complex? One thing means another, and you think you did the right thing, but it's the exact opposite of what she wanted. Wtf?

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Originally Posted by overwatch

An enigma wrapped within a mystery... why must everything be so fucking complex? One thing means another, and you think you did the right thing, but it's the exact opposite of what she wanted. Wtf?

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Toellner's right. We're not impossible to figure out. Unless we stop using logic altogether and go with just emotional impulses. But women would never do that.

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Originally Posted by Ruby

Toellner's right. We're not impossible to figure out. Unless we stop using logic altogether and go with just emotional impulses. But women would never do that.

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Lies! Naw, I guess you're right. But the important descisions are the damn egnimatic ones.

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Originally Posted by overwatch

Lies! Naw, I guess you're right. But the important descisions are the damn egnimatic ones.

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I wish I had good advice for dealing with girls. The stuff that works on me doesn't seem to transfer over to everyone.

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Originally Posted by ★LunaLight★

I wish I had good advice for dealing with girls. The stuff that works on me doesn't seem to transfer over to everyone.

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Sorry, can't help :/ I don't have much experience myself. But I can say this. If they cheat on you.. Ignore the hell out of them. That gets to 'em.....
Not that I would know that....

:(