This is how I'd like to spend my last days...

This is how I'd like to spend my last days...

{ a H a r r y & H e r m i o n e story brought to you by Genkai & Jaxine }

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It was over, that was it.

No more fighting, no more bloodshed. And most importantly no more tears shed because her heart was about to burst.

Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age, was relieved to say the very least. The war had ended, Voldemort had been killed and life was slowly returning back to normal. Though she hadn't had a taste of a normal life in many years, that if it were intelligently presented to her in a handy manual, she wouldn't even know what she was looking at. Life at Hogwarts was all she really knew and before that she enjoyed a quite life of simplicity with her muggle parents. How long had it been since she could sit and enjoy a book? Really enjoy a book without worrying about exams or being killed or getting in trouble? When she first entered the large empowering Great Hall, she was a good student, ready to buckle down and show everyone how privileged she felt and how she wouldn't squander this golden opportunity. Now, come seven or eight years after that glorious night, she was no longer the same naive bushy haired student whose heart had been overflowing with an abundance of earnestness. Now she was strong willed, self assured, and surrounded by friends who understood and accepted her flaws. Hermione had learned more than what the pages she feverishly memorized every night had to offer. Even the library inside the school itself couldn't contain all of life's answers and she learned that the hard way, but with wonderful people around her.

The memories, good and bad, were what kept her heart together whenever she would awaken from a terrible nightmare which retold the harrowing events they had gone through to rid the world of the worst evil of all time.

At the moment, Hermione was back with her parents. She had restored their memory (though she could never tell you the details) and wanted to spend the reminder of her summer with them, catching up on all the lost time that had been stolen between her fingers. While she was happy to be back home, she was not entirely healed. The efforts she and the others went through would be hard to shake and deep down, the bookworm knew she would never be able to shake the events her eyes had seen. Her hands would never really be clean. And her heart would never really stop trembling from mere memories and nightmares alone. Though if she did want to wipe away her memories, she knew she would never go through with it, that she'd be destroying a part of herself which made her who she was today: a strong, independent, intelligent, considerate, reliable, and trusting young woman. Every challenge, every twist, every person she met had made her who she was. Yes, even Voldemort deserved some credit to who she was now. Hermione knew that her second home, Hogwarts, was getting a heavy makeover and that in time, she would have to really move on from Voldemort and Death Eaters and finish her schooling. If she never went back, she would honestly live a less happy life, unable to ever forgive herself for abandoning her passions and morals even though there had been a terrible war. Terrible war or not, she was going back to school! Her parents understood so she was glad to spend the last summery days with them and not with her friends.

During the seemingly endless war, she and her friend Ronald Weasley had gotten close.

And now looking back, the same fond memories she had with him were a little more faded than most. During lazy afternoons, Hermione would discuss the events with her mother who was eager to know what had happened to her wonderfully spirited daughter. At first she was hesitant to fill her parents in on the events but soon she realized that they had to know and that she had to tell them. So she told them stories every day and when she ran out or slowed down, she would often sidetrack herself and tell her mother about less graphic scenes with her and her friends, such as Quidditch matches, Potions classes and meals in the Great Hall. Hermione's tales about Ron's appetite or Harry's rivalry with Draco Malfoy would often evoke a round of laughter from her mother, who had taken the two months off to work while Hermione's father was the main source of income until Hermione would leave back to Hogwarts. As the summer nights melted into autumn mornings, her mother grew more fascinated with her daughter's jaunts with the boy who lived and the more Hermione retold and retold them, the more she missed her friends. More specifically, Harry Potter. While she was unsure about her and Ron's relationship status as of late, she wasn't too worried or eager to run it by the red haired male. He wasn't going back to school, much to her and his mother's displeasure. He was off to find a career in flying which made no sense to her but she knew it made him happy so she wished him the best of luck. She and her two friends exchanged slow owls over the summer but they were all busy on their own for the most part.

In her letters, Hermione often purposely neglected to ask about Ginny or Ron because for now, Hermione wanted to return to her primary focus in school and graduating. She knew Harry and Ginny were sort of together like she and Ron. It was all complicated and as her mother astutely pointed out that perhaps the war was the reason they had found mates. Since romance was the last thing she needed to think about days before departing, she switched topics whenever her mother brought up either of her friends. Instead she went out shopping with her parents and visited several muggle museum exhibits and just enjoyed one another's company. While it was a sad endeavor to send their daughter off to school for an extra year, they could breathe deeply that there would be no harm there to greet her. Hermione sent both Harry and Ron letters saying she would see them as soon as possible. Last time she checked, Harry was still on the fence about finishing school as he didn't really need it, but Hermione had made very long winded cases in her letters as to why Harry and Ron should return to Hogwarts. (It was safe, they didn't know everything, they needed normalcy, it would be fun...to name a few) The icing on the cake for the witch was that she had been appointed Head Girl. She wasn't sure who was going to be Head Boy but if Harry wasn't attending, she assumed it would be Neville if he was going back, which he likely was. Hermione spent her last night home making dinner for her parents without any magic. She could now use her wand and all of the tricks of her sleeves outside of school but she wanted to try cooking from the heart instead.

Much to her dismay, she wasn't the best of cooks like the house elves back at school but her parents still stomached the food and told her that they would just go out to brunch before sending her off the next day.

With a weak smile, she headed up to make sure she was all packed. Once she went over her check list, she hurried in bed and cast a quick sleeping charm over herself as she was sure she would never fall asleep without it. Her stomach was atwitter and when she next opened her brown eyes, it was time to head out. Hermione was as anxious as a child ready for their first day of school but for Hermione, this was her last first day of school and she was planning on savoring every bit of it. The trio got in the car and drove into London and found breakfast, then they hurried off to catch the train. Her parents both gave her a kiss and a hug and she assured she'd write to them twice a day to which they said they'd double that right back. Hermione gathered her belongings and crossed over into the magical world via Platform 9 and 3/4s. For the most part, the smokey area had many new faces and few old ones which led her to suffer a moment or two of lighten disappointment before she boarded the shiny train, bound for her second home. She found a small single compartment and settled inside. Since she was Head Girl she got her own compartment near the front and spent the entire time en route, reading and planning her schedule for the next few years. Hermione did manage to catch a brief nap before being woken up by the old woman offering snacks to which she gave in and bought some chocolate frogs in honor of Ron because she knew he'd enjoy them if he were there with her. After studying the cards she got, she slipped them away and spent the last hour looking out the window, trying to spot the first faint glimmer of where her heart truly lied:

At Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

She allowed everyone to get off before her, before she would attempt to navigate the masses of eager innocent young minds. Hermione finally stepped down and looked at the inviting castle before her. Its lights were bright and gave hope to a new generation of witches and wizards and she finally felt like the bad dreams couldn't reach her. Even though Ron would never admit to it, she was sure he bad dreams like she did. And if she was, she knew Harry was as well. The last thing she needed to be accused of was being their nagging mother so she wouldn't press it unless she saw alarming signs or something. She caught a boat with some first years since all the carriages were gone and arrived on dry land with enough time to scuttle inside before she was stopped by the new Headmistress. "Headmaster." Hermione greeted, trying out the new ring to it. "It's good to see you again." Hermione added with a relaxed smile, though her heart wouldn't appear so informal. The elderly woman directly Hermione to wait before entering the Great Hall as the cermony wouldn't begin for a few minutes and that she needed to gather all Prefects and then the Head Boy and Girl. She said that the Head Boy and Head Girl would need to eat elsewhere to finish quickly to go over paperwork and other last minute details. Hermione was then ushered into a side room and given the same spread as anyone else. "Who is Head Boy?" Hermione inquired but McGonagall simply headed off and closed the door behind her.

Now all Hermione had for company was an empty plate in front of her and suddenly her welcome home didn't seem so splendorous.

Picking up her goblet, she lifted it to the air, "Here's to another amazing year." She just said and drank the pumpkin juice, the single sip alone sent her back to more memories, years before she had such a complicated string of relationships and events connected to her.

The war had finally ended after seven years…

Was it over? Had it finally finished? Yes, it had, the war was over, but was it truly over? The school that was Harry’s true home had been completely and utterly destroyed by the war that was brought upon them all by Voldemort. So many lives were lost, so many families and homes torn apart by such destruction and chaos brought upon them by the evil wizard. Harry felt a huge weight lifted from his chest the moment he saw Voldemort fall dead upon the ground. Getting up, his green eyes took in everything around him, the smell of death lingered in the air, the cries of people coming from the great hall. With each step Harry took he could feel sorrow, anger, but most of all, fear washing over him. For the ‘hero’ dreaded what was to come, who hadn’t survived? Who bravely gave their lives to save this school, so save this world? The world Harry had grown to love.

Truth be told, it was never truly over… at least not for Harry.

Even after Voldemort was killed, the remainder of the death eaters that had fled were tracked down and thrown into Azkaban. Even with the school being rebuilt, those with broken hearts mended, yes there was still the sting of loss, the painful memories of the trauma they all went through. Nothing was more damaging to Harry than seeing his best friend with cuts upon her face, blood trickling down her cheeks, her eyes red and glossed over with tears. The picture of Hermione in such pain, physical and emotional, just the look on her face, the sorrow and sadness in those beautiful brown eyes of hers staring back at him when he entered the Great Hall, you’d think that Ginny would be the first person he went to embrace, but it wasn’t. It was Hermione, Hermione Granger, his best friend since his first year of Hogwarts, the one who had been with him from the very beginning.

Those eyes, her eyes just staring at him, dark chocolate pools of pain and despair. ’Harry…’ her weakened voice sounded in his head. A haze of a whisper, the way alone she spoke his name after seeing him in the Great Hall once it was all over, spoke volumes to the green eyed one. It spoke to him; it reminded him of the suffering they’d endured. Harry remembered the pain Hermione went through for him, getting permanently marked by Bellatrix, Hearing her scream during Bellatrix’s assault, the sound of her body wriggling against the wooden floor, a sharp pain came over Harry’s heart. Hermione having to suffer both physically and emotionally during their time together alone in the wilderness, wiping her parent’s memories, the battle scars that she received, that they all received. The pain he put her through, each one of those memories flooded his mind when he slept, as well as the pain and suffer he’d endured throughout the years since his first year at Hogwarts.

Harry…

Her voice rang in his head, her scream of torturous pain soon followed, Harry slept, his head against his pillow. His brows furrowed as his head tossed a bit, his body turned, coiling up within the blanket and sheets. Screams of horror filled his head, the sight of comrades falling to the ground, their eyes dull and lifeless as they took their final breaths. I think I’ve known for some time now… were Harry’s words. Harry remembered how he felt when he stood before Voldemort, his decision to finally surrender and let the evil wizard take his life. It was the only way. Then came down to the final battle, the sight of Voldemort falling, then his steps back into the Great Hall, meeting those eyes once more. Hermione’s eyes. ”I’ll go with you…” that was enough to finally cause Harry to waken, his green eyes snapping open “Hermione!” he sat up in bed those green eyes shaken as they looked about the room, his dream always started with her, those eyes of sorrow, and ended with the same eyes. Yes he held other memories but this was the most vivid and frequent, was it guilt? Yes, was it pain? Yes, was it ever going to go away? No. Harry knew deep down that even though the war was over, it was never truly over for him, for memories of the past never left.

They taunted and tormented him each and every day as well as every night. Since it ended, Harry never had a calm and full night’s sleep, he’d wake up in a cold sweat, calling out but no one was there to reply. Sitting there, his eyes focused on the light that had entered his room, his deep green eyes peering out the window behind him. With a shaky hand, Harry brushed a few sweat soaked strands from his face as he sighed, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. After the war, Harry had gone back to Grimwauld place, he didn’t go to any friends homes, and he just wanted to be alone in the home of his late godfather, Sirius Black.

”Good Morning Harry, I’ve made us some delicious breakfast tea”

The softer more pleasant voice of Hermione, the one that she’d greet him with each morning when they were off in the wilderness in hiding from the Death Eaters, on the search for the horcruxes. Heading down the stairs, the boy who lived brewed himself a cup of tea and sat at the table, his mind wandering as it did each and every day, especially when he was alone. Every day, Harry simmered in his thoughts, his memories, and each day he grew more and more bitter, and less like himself.

The summer went by slowly, through it, Hermione would send letters as would Ron, a few from Ginny. At times it would take days for Harry to even reply to one, he bid good luck to his redheaded friend who decided not to attend Hogwarts for the final year. Harry had read over Hermione’s letters again and again, he wasn’t sure he wanted to return, but Hermione had her way of persuading the green eyed male to give into her suggestions. He sent one final letter to her, saying that he would attend. For Hermione, he’d go, if only just to see her smile, hear her laugh. It was something that Harry was longing for. But would he be the same? With his time alone, his time spent on his thoughts, his memories, Harry began to realize that he wasn’t the same as he was before. He would never be the same as he was before; the trauma had embedded itself deep within Harry’s soul with no escape. No ease at all from the pain.

Being alone was how Harry got by, yes his dreams haunted him every night, memories flooding his brain each and every day. But it was the solitude that ate away at him, yes he could’ve spent his summer with Ginny and her family, but after the loss of so many, he wasn’t sure he’d want to be a part of that. He could’ve spent his time with Hermione, but she’d returned the memory of her parents and he felt it would be wrong to intrude. So he stayed alone, perhaps that solitude away from his friends that would later be his undoing? He was a ticking time bomb, only time would tell not ‘if’ but ‘when’ he’d truly explode. He knew it would happen; it was inevitable with what had happened throughout the years.

September first rolled around much faster than Harry had wanted or expected. He’d done a bit of shopping at Diagon Alley for robes and necessities, especially after receiving the owl from Headmistress McGonagall that he’d been given the privilege of becoming Head Boy. This was going to be his last time riding the Hogwarts train to the school he’d called his home. He wasn’t excited, he wasn’t sad, Harry felt more neutral than anything. Perhaps it would hit him when he headed to the school itself? Heading onto the platform 9 3/4s, Harry heard the laughter, the giggling, new faces and a few he recognized but there was no joy in his face or in his eyes. Stepping onto the train, into his own personal compartment, Harry was alone again, using that time to get some reading done on books he’d purchased at Diagon Alley for the last and final year of Hogwarts for him. What was he to do after it? Would he be able to be around his old friends again? The truth was, he wasn’t sure, Harry wasn’t the same, he knew he wasn’t and at times that scared him. How would he treat the others? How would they view him? Would they even be able to tell? He couldn’t let them see what the war had done to him, what the trauma had caused for him, in him. No. He couldn’t.

When the train arrived, Harry had slipped away and had taken a carriage, giving a smile to those who greeted him. A façade to mask the pain, it was working well, no one thought anything of it, the ‘hero’ was smiling, laughing, listening to stories of fellow student’s summers and spoke a bit about his own. Though gave vague details as not to let them into his personal life too much. Arriving to the castle, Harry was greeted by the Headmistress, she could tell something was off but had so much on her plate at the current moment she didn't bring it up and instead gave him a few things to look over while leading him to a private room. Taken to a backroom and left at the door, before Harry could even question anything or even speak on any matter at all, McGonagall was gone before his voice even passed his lips. Harry stood there staring at the door, then down to the badge pinned to his Gryffindor robes. With a sigh, the male reached out and took a hold of the handle and opened the door stepping in.

To his surprise, he was face to face with the one person he’d been thinking about since the war was over, the one person who could and probably would see through his mask of lies, the one person whom he missed more than anyone, his best friend, Hermione. His eyes lit up, though only for a moment upon seeing her, a real smile formed upon his lips, he wanted to walk up to her and hug her close. But that would be too forward of him, he thought “I’m not surprised you’d be Head Girl” he finally spoke heading to the table; he stepped toward her and gave her a brief hug and a peck on the cheek before moving to the empty seat and sitting down. “I hope your summer went well” he knew it did for she would tell him about her days in each letter she’d send, taking up his goblet, Harry took a drink of the pumpkin juice and sat back in his chair his mind slowly wandering. He’d have to choose his words carefully when speaking around Hermione as not to let up about everything that happened over the summer in case she asked, which he knew she would. He didn't want to worry her, she was recovering from such a string of events, and he wasn't sure how she’d handle it if he were to tell her the truth. For now, he keep it all to himself and just go on as if nothing happened, he only hoped he could keep his mask on tightly and not let her see how truly destroyed he was within.

Just when the girl thought she would stay suspended in utter suspense, the door opened to reveal her best friend, who she hadn't seen in forever.

"Harry!" She exclaimed and almost knocked over the table when she jumped to her feet. When he moved over and gave her a light embrace, she immediately knew something was wrong. No, not just something: everything. "It's so good to see you!" She told him as she sat back down and cleared her throat as she hastily cleaned up whatever mess her outburst had caused. Hermione looked to him as he took a drink. She leaned a bit closer to try to get a better look at his eyes. After knowing him for so long, she could usually see past any silly mask he attempted to slip into. "I had a brilliant summer, perhaps the best one ever." If anything, it was the best in years but she could barely remember anything else but the past few weeks of sun and fearlessness that graced her heart. Just thinking about her family which was finally returning to normal made her ache with longing. Just when life was turning around for the better, she had to go back to school. Of course Hermione wanted to, it wouldn't be right to never finish her education. She was torn but it wasn't like the many other times in years past. Evil had been dispelled from the world and for now, she wanted to take advantage of the new wonderfulness all around her.

Which seemed to include her with Harry, which she would enjoy whole heartedly.

"I didn't tell you I was appointed Head Girl because I wanted it to be a surprise in case you did decide to come after all...so I guess surprise." She laughed a little. After that, Hermione and Harry quickly ate so they could get ready to help the incoming Prefects and new First Years. While her withholding of information did surprise Harry, his arrival still surprised her. She honestly wasn't sure if he would attend or not, he didn't drop very many hints in his few letters. The fact that her friend was willing, trying to make an effort to resume normality meant the world to her. She knew that the rebuilding phase after the war would take the biggest toll on Harry, war was all he ever knew and it would be very difficult to see Hogwarts or even the world for that matter, as anything but war torn. But he had to try and realize that the pain was over, now it was time to heal and move forward, he deserved closure and someday he would get it. Hermione would make sure of it. Once dinner was over, they didn't get much time to catch up as they had to escort people to the dormitory and deal with any questions people had. It was a lot of work and Hermione made a conscious effort to steer questions toward her rather than Harry so he didn't get too overwhelmed. Unlike most people, the girl seemed to thrive, almost fueled upon, on helping people and taking on challenges.

When the end of the night came, Hermione and Harry were shown their dorms which were up the stairs per usual but this time they had a single door which was activated upon them walking up said stairs. Inside the room were two four poster beds decorated in the same gold and red hues. They had their own attached washroom and a set of dressers and desks. Hermione saw her trunk had been brought up and was waiting for her attention atop her bed. She hurried over to the door which led out to a small balcony which gave them a breathtaking view of the lake and endlessly stretching hills. "Oh, this is gorgeous!" Hermioe awed and whirled around to see Harry but there was little life in his eyes. Hermione pressed her delicate lips together and knew he wouldn't bounce back right away. In fact, he probably wouldn't bounce back at all to his old self. He had changed, just like her and the others. It would take Harry more time and effort to get to a safe place again. She was lucky, she had two loving parents and the people who cared for Harry were gone, all of them. Well except her and the Weasleys of course. She sighed and approached her bed and began to wordlessly unpack her items. She surely could have used her wand to do so but at the moment, she quite content with doing it herself.

Hermione had to pick her own words and actions carefully around her treasured companion. As much as she longed to tell him about her summer (which she already had in written form) and ask about his own (which he never gave detail about), she restrained herself. She could almost see him deep below the water's surface, trying not to drown quite yet. She wondered if there was a doctor he could speak to, to empty his mind, to confide in. Of course she would be more than willing to be that shoulder for him but it was evident already that he was creating distance as to not overwhelm her. Hermione finished unpacking and pushed her trunk under the bed and sat down on it and ran her hands through her hair. "It's like Hogwarts hasn't changed a bit." She said, attempting to make some kind of casual conversation but as soon as Hermione did, she felt their relationship had changed. It had, of course. They were no longer naive little kids learning magic tricks, they were now adults who had seen death, battled against it. Miraculously, they even won. But she didn't want them to change, Harry was and had always been that one constant source of happiness and acceptance in her life. When she was struggling to acclimate herself in her first year in school it was Harry who defended her, Harry who saved her, Harry who trusted her and it was Harry who showed her there was much more to books.

Their bond was strong, it was just being tested.

"It feels so good to be back." Hermione smiled. Strong...she had to be strong for Harry. He had been so strong for her and Ron, for everyone in fact. Harry Potter was a hero. But in her mind, he was her friend first and foremost. "I really cannot wait for classes to begin." She cocked her head back at the ceiling and let out a soft sigh. Here she was babbling about school when she knew she needed to be talking to Harry about anything else but she couldn't help but cling to the topic that made her feel so secure. The last thing she wanted to do was to discuss Ron or Ginny or those who died or their future. All she wanted to do was to live in this moment with her friend. She wanted to see him smile and laugh. She wanted them to make fun of Professor Snape and discuss the future Quidditch match against their rivals. And she wanted to hug him like she used to. In his arms, she felt so safe and loved. Ron's hugs were nice, warming as well but they didn't reach her like Harry's could. Ron just hated those intimate connections. She wouldn't push him though. Leaning backwards, she flung her arms back over her shoulders as she laid across the bed with her head and arms hanging over the sides, with her legs dangling over the other side, horizontally. And now a part of her didn't want to sleep, didn't want to wake up the next day and pretend everything was okay, didn't want to go to school. She closed her eyes and just allowed herself to push the past back where it belonged, in the past.

Sadly, for Harry, he couldn't easily do it. Her chocolate eyes were now once against exposed to the beautiful mahogany ceiling above her. "Listen Harry," Could she do it? Could she break the defensive shell Harry had cast around his exterior? Maybe not yet. "You should feel like you can talk to me...about anything." She attempted as she pushed herself up to look at him, to show him how serious she was but at the same time, how casual she was trying to being. The line she had to walk was very fine, nearly invisible to the naked eye. For now, that would be it. It wasn't enough but for now it had to be. For their sake, tomorrow she could approach the delicate situation better. The day had been long for them both and she was so happy to be with Harry again, she had to let him know that, had to keep him close. The last thing she wanted was to scare him away, to have him push away. Getting up from her bed, she moved to him and slipped her arms around his form. "You never did give me a proper hug, Harry Potter." She playfully lectured him as one arm moved around his back while the other moved around the back of his head lovingly. "You bugger." She laughed and pulled back after about ten seconds. He smelled the same, he always did. His scent; pine, rainwater, freshly mowed grass and parchment paper. It gave her hope, hope that they could return to the simple time in which they met and flourished together.

It was possible.

"So." She said and stepped away but remained in close proximity. "I suggest that we try to get some sleep or we either snoop around the castle and see if we can stir up on trouble for old time's sake." Hermione told him with a bit of sly sneaking grin. Being with the two males for the past near decade had made her realize life was worth living to its fullest, and sometimes that meant taking risks you wouldn't normally take. School was still a huge priority in her life but so was friendship and love and bravery and everything else. So much more. Hermione moved over to her bed and picked up her wand and slipped it into her robes. Should Harry decide to head out or stay in, she needed to freshen up in the lavatory so she just scuttled off and closed the door behind her and unpacked her own items into the first drawer and left the other for Harry's own supplies. She brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth and went to the bathroom. As she was finishing the process of washing her hands, she couldn't help but think back again to when that nasty troll had attacked her so many years ago. Ron and Harry were amazing. While her relationship status with the redhead was unclear, she did miss him at the moment. It didn't feel the same without Ronald but it still felt good. Perhaps better? Perhaps this year she wouldn't have someone begging for her notes or criticizing her ever move. Maybe this year she wouldn't have to sit in a corner and bawl her eyes out.

Stepping out, she left the door ajar and glanced to Harry to see what he had in mind. If he wished to stay in, she had plenty of reading material.

Hermione’s reaction upon seeing him, why hadn’t he pictured it in his head, had he not pictured seeing her again, did the darkness really consume him that much over the past two months alone at Grimmwauld Place? All Harry had to keep him thriving were memories, the good memories that he held close to his heart during the day, the softness of her voice; the sound of her laugh; the feel of her arms around him. It was Hermione and her chipper attitude during their darkest days together, that kept him sane, kept him feeling alive, kept him from withdrawing from the world. The bad memories however seemed to creep in during the night as he slept. The suffering of Ron, Hermione, the deaths of Sirius, Dumbledore, Snape; though he always thought that Snape was out to get him, Harry had gained some respect for the Potions master after death, after seeing the man’s memories.

When his best friend sat back down and began to clean up the slight mess she made, Harry took his seat and went to work at helping her “It’s great to see you too, Hermione” something about having her near was already helping him on his road to getting through this darkness, for he was no longer alone. He had her, the one person he’d needed by his side during the summer, if she was, and perhaps he wouldn’t be the way he was at this very moment. But there was no going back in the time to change that, especially with what came out of her mouth next. Hermione spoke about her summer; it was enough to have the feeling of guilt spread through him like wildfire for even thinking of having her to himself for the summer. “I’m glad you had a fantastic time” he forced a smile upon his face, but having seen that look in her eyes, he knew that she was aware of his ‘mask’. Was the near lifelessness really that noticeable to her?

’She can see through it, I should have known, it’s Hermione, the one who knows me probably more than I know myself…’

It then got him to realize, this was Hermione he was thinking about, not some ‘star love struck’ fanatic like Ginny Weasley. This was the beautiful young woman he’d spent months with alone in the wilderness, this was the one person who knew the most about him, even when he tried to hide things. The began to eat together, Hermione speaking of keeping her ‘Head Girl’ status a secret as to surprise him got the male to smile at her words but even more so when a laugh escaped her lips. The sound of it alone, it wasn’t in his memories, it was actually happening. Oh how it sounded the same, filling him with warmth within his heart. Even if she wasn’t trying, Hermione’s actions were bringing well needed ease to the war Hero. With some small talk, some laughing from his companion once more and smiling, Harry was feeling a bit better, something he hadn’t really expected to happen, but thanks to Hermione Granger, it was.

’Maybe it won’t be so bad, she’s here now, with me… I only hope I don’t push her away…’

Those were the words that were swirling around in his head as he looked toward her as the two continued to eat. Once their slight hurried first dinner together in several months was rushed to a finish, they were on ‘Head’ Boy/Girl duties in leading the way to the dormitories. There were questions asked of him, and even though Harry wasn’t as social he kept the façade going quite well. He would smile and answer the ones that were given to him. He was however very grateful to Hermione for taking it upon herself to answer those that he couldn’t especially when it came to feeling overwhelmed before more times than not, he was starting to get trapped and needed to step away. It was a rather active night, was this what Harry was going to have to look forward to for the remainder of the school year? To be a ‘leader’ That should come to him rather quickly since it was in his blood to be such a way, but the fact that he was Head Boy, something he didn’t want but still accepted, especially more so now than ever since Hermione was Head Girl. He’d be able to spend time with her like he did before. Like they did in the woods on their trips, being near her was something Harry was definitely looking forward to.

By the time their night was over and the two were escorted to their own dormitories, to Harry’s surprise there was only one bedroom with beds. He’d be sharing a bedroom with Hermione? He wasn’t sure why that was shocking, but it was, though it did cause him to ease up that much more at the thought that she’d be near if he needed her to be. Heading over to his bed, Harry opened his trunk and began to unpack; he didn’t really bring much to begin with that needed unpacking. The most were his clothes, school books which he packed a few in his messenger bag for the morning classes and kept the rest in his desk that sat parallel against the wall of the foot of the bed. Hearing Hermione’s words, the hero looked to see that they actually had a balcony which caused him to smile, it was the fact that there ‘was’ a balcony but just hearing the enthusiasm in Hermione’s voice was what got Harry to feel a bit better. “That’s wonderful news, Hermione”

’I should be happy, I should be ecstatic, I have the one person I’ve wanted all summer here by my side, Hermione. Why am I so withdrawn? I don’t want to push her away, I want her here…’

When the brown eyed girl began to discuss Hogwarts, harry gave a nod “I’m actually quite surprised about that, it’s like the war never happened. The school looks exactly the same if not better than our first year here” he gave a slight chuckle. “It’s a wonderful feeling” that he was in fact being honest about. “To be home” Hogwarts really did feel like his true home, ever since he was eleven. But now, he had a different view of it, he’s protected his home, fought against evil, lost some very good friends but in the end, he was here. After everything, Harry had remained, but in his heart he didn’t completely feel the same, he felt weary, at times of course, but right now? He didn’t, he felt like his body was slowly easing up, slowly those green eyes of his wandered the room and finally landed on Hermione, listening to her speak, he gave a silent smile to her. Harry knew that Hermione was trying her best to whatever it was that he needed at this present time. Was it really that obvious? Then again Harry wasn’t surprised, after so long together the year before, she was good at picking up on his ‘vibes’. “it does feel nice to be back, and knowing you, you’re ecstatic for classes tomorrow” he chuckled, keeping his eyes upon her with a real smile upon his face, not some fake one like he’d been giving all night, but a real one.

What came out of her mouth next got him to clear his thoughts of the past as he looked to her, she really could read into him and he barely even said a word, she was good, impressive. When she sat up, Harry just watch her, she was then on her feet, making her way over to him, the male was a bit unsure of what to do, should he just stand there? Should he move? No, she was moving toward him and before he knew it she was right in front of him. Listening to her words he soon felt her arms around him. There was something about Hermione’s touch that was so electrifying to him, just a she hugged him, and his arms wrapped around her tiny form and pulled her close to him, letting that hug last for as long as she allowed it to. “Sorry about that, I guess my mind has been everywhere today” when she pulled back after a short time, harry looked to her and smiled.

Her scent lingered in the air around him he could smell vanilla, citrus, the key ingredients to a treacle tart, and was that plumeria? Harry remembered back in his class when he picked up on those scents of the amortentia, why had he thought of Ginny? They were nothing like her, right now, at this very moment, Harry realized that he’d picked up on Hermione’s scent all along. Was his mind too clouded in the past that he couldn’t realize it? But now he did, and that brought a slight shiver up his spine, in a good way of course. When she stepped away, Harry looked to her, he actually quirked a brow at her question then saw the sly grin that had formed upon her lips “I think you’ve spent too much time around us boys during the years” he gave a slight laugh “Well I would suggest we go out and cause some trouble, but it’s our first night back, classes do begin in the morning so let’s rest up, we don’t have to sleep right away but.. I think staying in tonight will be good”

’I’m sounding like her…’ he glanced to Hermione and smiled before taking up his pajamas and heading into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.

After emerging from the bathroom bathed, groomed and in his pair of burgundy and white striped pajamas, Harry headed for his desk and picked up a book he’d been reading over the summer and headed to his bed. Sliding beneath the covers he propped himself up against the headboard of the bed and removed his bookmark and began reading. Well at least he seemed like he was reading but his brain was actually running a marathon in his mind. What was he really doing? He was sitting there in bed, with Hermione right next to him in a room, they were together finally after two months and yet all he planned on doing was reading? Really? Sitting there, Harry gave a sigh and removed his round spectacles, slowly rubbing his eyes after closing his book. Sitting there, he put his glasses back on and drummed his fingers against the book’s spine before looking toward Hermione “Our first night together after so long” he gave her a smile “It feels nice” his eyes glanced to the balcony window. Harry wanted to go flying, but Hermione wasn’t fond of heights one bit. Sure she road on buckbeak with him but that was years ago. "How about a scour of the school grounds for old times sake?"

'Of course Ron and Harry's bad traits of mischief have rubbed off on me.' She thought. 'And now he's beginning to sound like me.' She noted as he moved to take the bathroom next. While he did so, Hermione moved and looked through the stack of books she had brought for light reading before bed. Of course as Ron put it, they didn't seem like light reading to anyone but the bookworm. She cracked open one of the books about enchantments and charms and scanned the table of contents. It was so lengthy that by the time Harry got out, she wasn't even done yet. She looked up and watched him head over to his own bed, the furthest one from the bathroom, and settle down with a book of his own. Smiling a little, she just went back to finishing the table of contents. Once she had, she was about to start reading when Harry spoke up, seeming to have changed his mind after a fleeting moment in time. Hermione brushed some of her hair back after her friend had finally opted they go out anyway. Of course the woman was well aware that it was their first night back, that they needed their rest and couldn't get in trouble so soon. Then again, it trouble seemed to follow them for nearly a decade so Hermione could be a bit more cautious. But now that the evil was gone, couldn't they try to go for a walk without fear following behind them, threatening to destroy all they love?

That was a gift she had to unwrap over time though, the ability to look fear in the eyes and not dare to blink.

The past eight or so years had made it easier for Hermione to grow, to not cower behind her books for shelter and comfort. Now she could use her knowledge as a weapon, a tool to help everyone around her. It could validate her but she didn't need it. "Sounds wonderful." She told Harry and put her books down and hopped up. She looked around and grabbed her robe which she had slipped off while freshening up in the bathroom. Putting it back on over her head, she looked to Harry and wondered if they would need his Invisibility Cloak. They probably would, just to be safe until they reached a point where Filch or Mrs.Norris couldn't track them down. Maybe as Head Boy and Head Girl, they had to patrol the corridors themselves to ensure no one was past curfew. If they did get caught, they could probably just use that as some excuse and it would likely be fine. After checking for her wand, just to be safe, she waited for Harry to get ready before they headed out. Hermione poked her head out of their door and saw the fire down in the common room blazing, full of life. There was one student who Hermione recognized as a sixth year and their younger sibling who appeared to be a first year who was homesick.

Had they not had their sibling around, she would have felt compelled to stay and comfort the sniveling first year but since they had another sibling to lean on, she and Harry were free for the night. "Get the cloak and come here." She instructed in a hushed tone, bringing up a hand to wave Harry over to the door. The duo, once a trio, covered themselves and suddenly became invisible to the naked eye. They shut the door quietly and she linked her arm in Harry's instinctively. Without Ron to breathe down their necks, they had enough room to not be so close but it seemed like such a natural action to take that she didn't need to mull over it one bit. Walking down the stairs and past the two students, they hurried through the portrait hole were soon out in the usual corridor. It was cold, as usual, and it was empty, as usual. Her chest that had once felt so very heavy seemed to have a weight lifted from it, like she was finally safe from harm. Here she was in Hogwarts, arm in arm with her best friend. Things were almost back to normal but she knew Harry would never be normal again. His life had never been normal, all thanks to Lord Voldemort. Walking forward they made their way through the maze of passage ways and made their way to the moving staircases. 'Maybe now we're safe.' She thought and slowly removed the cloth surrounding them.

The dim lights created a wonderful ambiance as if a dull fire had just died down from within the heart of the castle. Hermione removed her arm from Harry and folded up the cloak and held it against her chest as they walked up the stairs. Part of her wanted to venture back down but she felt her whole being pulled upwards like they were two fresh angels basking in the glow, rising up like thin forgotten billows of smoke. The kind of smoke no ordinary potion could produce. “It’s so different at night, like this.” She commented as she tightened her hold on Harry’s cloak, as if trying to restrain herself from grabbing his hand like she had done countless times in their troubled past which still haunted their brightest dreams. Then a part of her wondered why she thought she had to retrain herself ‘It honestly won’t do either of us any good to distance ourselves, he should know it, and so should I.’ She thought d shifted the bundle of cloth so it was under her arm and used her free hand and curl back around his arm. Memories of them spending the past Christmas together came to the forefront of her mind, blurry her eyes for several misty moments. Only blinking and turning her attention from the front to who was beside made the tears dissipate.

Her statement held some validity, some truth.

After all, being in school, at night after the war as if nothing horrible had happened, was different. She knew when she’d go back, it would be different. So she was rather glad that she had someone to share it with. Being in the halls of her old home was nothing like before, and she didn't mind it at all. If she had been out alone she wouldn't have felt as comfortable in likelihood. After the memories of their chilly Christmas at Godric's Hollow dashed away from her present state of mind, Hermione was more able to focus on the present. Harry was with her, Ron was trying to find a job, Ginny was around, Draco and Neville were as well, sure a few others from their past had parted ways but for now she had to remind herself where she and why. Returning to school wasn't easy for many but for her, it would be even more difficult not to return to Hogwarts. While her friend with the scar on his forehead probably wrestled with the idea more than herself, Hermione knew if he didn't go back, he might always have some kind of nagging doubt. So while Harry might not see it at the present, Hermione thought it was good for him to at least try to finish their schooling. As for what he might do after school, she assumed he might teach or become an Auror like he had once planned on. Things had changed though, so time would tell how keen he was on staying on the old path, or finding something new.

Hermione breathed in deeply as they ascended the stairs, moving past the third floor. "Remember Fluffy?" She asked Harry. "I wonder whatever happened to him. I do think it was a little reckless to guard such a stone in a school." She shook her head a little. "I also found it a bit funny that the Chamber of Secrets hadn't been detected until you came along." She shrugged a little at the oddities that their past years had yielded. "You would think Dumbledore would have thought about using parseltongue to locate it." She dropped the subject though as their first two or three years were the least crazy and if she continued on the topic of their academic history, the mood would surely be ruined. "All I can say is that Hogwarts has been through so much over the many centuries that its been in use..." She could already tell her mind was running too fast, trying to fix whatever had been broken within her dear friend and the only thing she could find herself to prattle on and on about was school. 'He doesn't want to talk about Hogwarts or the past years spent here.' She berated herself sternly. Before she bored Harry into a sleepy state, she pulled him up toward the Astronomy Tower. While the location held good and bad memories, she didn't see a horribly large reason to just avoid it. Even at night, the sight from the top was beautiful.

"I would love to see some sort of festive decorations up here come Christmas time." She turned to Harry and once again released her hold from his arm and walked over to the edge so she could look out at the bright future a little more easily. The darkness wasn't too hard to look past. She found herself, for the first time wishing she had Ron. He could make them laugh with some silly or stupid remark. Ron had a big bright smile and while he didn't know what to say sometimes, his heart was usually in the right place. She could admire that trait very easily. But while he was off trying to get onto a professional team to fly, Hermione was a little worried. Not only because their relationships hadn't been established clearly, but because she didn't see a real future in his own pursuit. She wanted to be the supportive friend (girlfriend?) to his passion but she never enjoyed Quidditch. Well, she did go to Harry's matches, all of them. He was a great flyer, it was in his blood but at least Harry didn't try to make it a career when to her it was just a cute hobby, if anything. Another old but fond memory entered her head, swirling around and enveloping her in the past. Her hair was flailing in the wind. The moon was full and bright above them. She had her arms wrapped around Harry tightly as they flew on Buckbeak. Back then she was so bloody terrified, they had faced off against so many frightful things and the night was almost on a rerun for her brain to relive.

That air was slightly warm and slightly bitter. Hermione clenched the rail in front of her and shut her brown eyes. It was just another memory which she and Harry had shared without Ron, who couldn't really change the fact that he had been injured. But had he not been injured, would he have also gone into the past to help save lives? To help run and hide in the dark? To help change dreadfully wrong situations? Would Ron have been helpful or just another distraction? Harry was hard enough to keep in line and fill in about time travel but would Ron have honestly fit in or would have their plan been ruined? Opening her eyes, her yearning for the boy vanished into the thin air around her and she whirled around to find Harry. "I'm glad it's just us here." She found herself blurt out without thinking about it. 'Ginny and the others are here too of course...' She ignored that unpleasant fact for the time being. "I mean what I meant to say was that..." How could she insult her other friend like that? Ron was nice and fun but the mood wouldn't be the same. Should it be the same? Hermione found herself, her heart and head getting mixed messages. "Even without Ron here, I'm glad it's you and not just me." She knew her clarification was weak, perhaps it was the late hour. Perhaps. "Everything has changed now, hasn't it?" Hermione found a smile forming at her lips.

Turning back around to hide her face, she looked back out at the lake and once again forced herself to not worry about the past or future, and enjoy the present.