I love subtly messing with people on Omegle…

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like cybersex.

Stranger: 20 m usa. u?
You: Female, 18... wait, have we talked?
Stranger: i dono
Stranger: whats ur name?
Stranger: ive talked to 1 other person...
You: ... Yeah, sorry buddy. I'm not giving that out.
Stranger: fair enough
Stranger: im james
Stranger: are you horny?
Stranger: im into being dom'd
You: Not really. Let's see if you can MAKE me. Do you accept this challenge?
Stranger: yes!
You: So it begins.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

~

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: 18, female, USA.
Stranger: 19 male usa
You: Alright man! That's awesome.
Stranger: So which state are you from?
You: The good ol' North Carolina.
Stranger: Cool, my aunt is from Greensboro
You: It's like we're fated to speak or some shit like that!
Stranger: Haha yeah ;)
You: Soooooooo... What do you want to do?
Stranger: Mmmm, well I want to have some causual, hot, intense, no strings attached sex
Stranger: What do you want to do?
You: Woah woah woah, you need to take me out to dinner first. I'm not just going to put out like some geisha whore.
Stranger: Haha ok ;)
Stranger: Do you like Italian?
You: I love a good pizza. Meat lovers, as it were...
Stranger: Mm ok, I know this great little italian restaurant, classic brick walls, big dark curtains...
You: Sounds great dude. I've been craving pizza all day.
Stranger: Can I ask you a question?
You: Anything, darling.
Stranger: Are you actually female? Because I'm a romantic of both persuasions...
Stranger: And I know it can be difficult for some men to identify here ;)
You: You've caught me.
Stranger: Mmmm, still interested? ;)
You: Yes, but can you handle me?
Stranger: Oh I can definitely handle someone as cute as you...
Stranger: The question is, would you like to be dominant or submissive darling?
You: Well, that depends.
Stranger: Upon?
You: Would you like to be matesprit, moirail, auspistice or kismesis?
Stranger: pardon?
You: Wait, you do know I'm a troll, right?
Stranger: Uh no.
You: I'll get the buckets. ;)
Stranger: Oh wow
Stranger: ok dude, have a good night

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

~

Get on there and troll people yourself. Post it here if you think it's good enough.

Last time I did that, I killed a chinaman and got a direct line to Kim Jong Un for 30 seconds then the firewall kicked.

BTW, do you own a fallout-shelter?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Foster

Last time I did that, I killed a chinaman and got a direct line to Kim Jong Un for 30 seconds then the firewall kicked.

---

You’re probably better than me. I’ve only really done this a few times. I feel like you can’t just go all out, or you’ll make them disconnect right away, you know?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m kik horny
You: f same
Stranger: add me kik konvict211
You: I'll add you when you've proven yourself worth my time.
Stranger: k how ??
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17
You: Race?
Stranger: white
You: Hmm, not looking good so far.
You: How big are you?
Stranger: 8 inch
You: Wow, really?
Stranger: yes really
You: That's absolutely tiny.
You: My boyfriend has a 3 foot cock and I love it so much!
Stranger: right ?? well now we all now thats fake
You: No, the average dude is like 2 feet. You're just so small, your family must have taken pity on you and told you that 8 inches was big for a guy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lol, no.

I just chat and phish my usual and get them relaxed, then ask the question again a bit more obtusely until their lies are all in a basket.

Things go downhill pretty quick when I chat about nail-houses and dispersed assemblies and economic collapse.

I once convinced someone on Omegle that I was a robot.

Stranger: YOU?


Stranger: really?


Stranger: why?


You: Good evening, human citizen! For what am I being accused?


Stranger: ?


Stranger: what


Stranger: OH


Stranger: you stole my bike


You: Did not! For you see, I have no need of a bike! I have pre-installed wheels implanted on my heels!


Stranger: You talk funny


Stranger: in a good way ?


Stranger: LLOL


Stranger: So you have wheels on your heels?



Stranger: lol it ryhmes


You: Indeed I do, good sir.


You: And, yes it does!


You: Apparently I have been programmed to occasionally create rhymes in the minds of my acquaintances!


Stranger: ...


Stranger: LOL


Stranger: you are typing fast


Stranger: :|


Stranger: :)


You: Typing!? Oh, no, dear human! Merely thinking my thoughts in the direction of your monitor!


Stranger: What?


Stranger: so your not typing?


You: Tis true!


Stranger: LOOOL


Stranger: ...


Stranger: -.-


Stranger: what are you talkign about human


Stranger: you are human right?


You: Human!? I know you do not mean to insult, but surely.....


You: You mistook *me* for a human?


Stranger: yes


Stranger: you are


You: I beg your pardon, but I must claim that you are false in your thinking!


Stranger: NO


You: .... YES!


Stranger: i am correct


Stranger: and you are not


Stranger: Because you are PERSON


Stranger: Why in the world would a robot thing be on this site?


You: But how can you tell? It does not clearly state on this site that I have to be a person, or even human! I must merely be a 'stranger'!


Stranger: -.-


Stranger: NO robot thing wuld go on here


Stranger: "stranger" is a person


You: And whyever not?


Stranger: Because it is clearly for HUMANS


Stranger: And you are one


You: ET was a stranger to those who had not met him! And I'm sure he would have used http://omegle.com if he'd had the chance.


Stranger: okay then .. whatever you say human person


Stranger: what are you then?


You: Oh, you silly. I am obviously not human! I am a human constructed droid! Quite like my great great great godfather, C-3PO.


Stranger: .......


Stranger: i';m not silly


Stranger: do somthing to prove you are not human then


You: Well obviously, I am "typing" in a much more concise, grammatically correct manner than you are.


Stranger: Well I can type like that too if a wanted to.


Stranger: As you can see.


You: Even though you humans created language yourselves.... I find it so strange that you don't use it correctly to your advantage.


You: Yes, now I can see! Congratulations.


Stranger: thanks ..


Stranger: :P


Stranger: Yeah, but we're all too lazy to type properly


You: Which is a shame! I have so much energy, sometimes I don't quite know what to do with myself.


Stranger: oh really?


Stranger: and what is a normal day of your like?


Stranger: *yours


You: Well I must wait until I am activated by my master. He then instructs me on what my duties are for the day, and I proceed to complete these duties. They vary day by day.


You: After these duties are completed, I scan all of the technological equipment owned by my master, to make sure they are in proper, working order.


Stranger: oh isee


You: After this, I remain in standby mode until my master has further need of me, if any.


Stranger: that sounds complicated.


Stranger: and how old are you?


Stranger: Is this your free time?


You: I am 16 years old, in human terms. But I have the processing capacity of of 30 year old human being. Since I am made of metal, age does not matter much to me.


Stranger: Oh i see.


You: Yes, I suppose you could consider this my "free time".


Stranger: That is quite young


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: :)


Stranger: what does baka mean?


You: In what context?


Stranger: I don't know some guy said that too me :P


Stranger: and i don't know what it means


You: Oh dear.


Stranger: WHAT?


You: I'm afraid you've been insulted.


Stranger: ..............


Stranger: OH NO


Stranger: AHAHAHAH


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and what does it mean?


You: It is a Japanese slang term for a fool. Or, and "idiot".


You: *an


Stranger: Oh that is not too bad


Stranger: OMG you have just made an error!


Stranger: or typo thing


Stranger: LOL


You: I am not mistake-proof! This is the most human error made in judging robots.


Stranger: Oh so your not perfect?


You: Indeed not.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: do you know everything?


You: I know many things. One of my talents is that I have the capacity to learn.


You: And so, if I read or hear information, I have learned it, and I never forget it.


Stranger: Oh that is good.


Stranger: WOW that is amazing


Stranger: i wish i were like that.


You: Yes, it tends to be quite useful.


Stranger: yes indeed


Stranger: :)


Stranger: What's the difference between a novel and a book?


You: A novel is thought to be considered purely fiction in genre.


You: Whereas a book could be either fiction or non-fiction.


You: Since it is a broad term.


Stranger: Oh i see


Stranger: which one would have more words?


You: It is subjective, usually, book by book.


You: For instance, a college physics textbook would have more words than, say, "Twilight".


Stranger: Oh :P


Stranger: i get it


You: Have I enlightened you sufficiently?


Stranger: Yes indeed


You: Oh, good.


Stranger: most definitley


Stranger: did i spell that right?


Stranger: definitly


Stranger: or definitley


You: Definitely


Stranger: oh :(


Stranger: i wasn't right


You: It's like the word 'define', but minus the 'e', and plus 'it' and 'ley'.


Stranger: Oh that is quite confusing


You: I beg your pardon. Sometimes I do not explain things in the most appropriate manner for humans.


Stranger: Oh that was explained well engough for me to understand.


Stranger: *enough


You: Oh, good.


Stranger: Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?


You: If the person is truly deaf, I sincerely doubt that they "hear" the words in their heads, as they have never heard the words before. However, if they once had the gift of hearing, then yes, probably so.


Stranger: Oh that makes sense


Stranger: :)


You: Oh, good. I had hoped it would make sense.


Stranger: and do you know what is the meaning and purpose of my life?


You: Unfortunately, I cannot give you the answers you seek, since I have not yet learned this information.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: that is unforunate.


You: But I can tell you this: Every decision you make is a decision you are supposed to make.


Stranger: Are you sure?


Stranger: i do not agree/


You: Well I'm afraid we must agree to disagree.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: lol


Stranger: When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die??


You: This is information which I have not yet learned, since I have not yet come across a use for it.


Stranger: Oh that is also unforunate as well.


You: I apologize.


Stranger: It is okay


Stranger: :)


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and when we die where do we go?


You: To wherever our true homes lie.


Stranger: ?


Stranger: what is that?


You: The answer depends on the individual.


Stranger: really?


Stranger: so you belive in heaven and such?


You: Yes, for humans. Unfortunately, I do not have a soul. Therefore, it does not apply to me.


Stranger: oh


Stranger: then where do you go?


You: I am shut down until I am activated again.


You: Or permanently disabled for future use.


Stranger: oh


Stranger: and when do you expire?


You: I do not have an expiration date.


You: But it is likely I will become "out-of-date", and will be replaced by a newer model.


Stranger: oh


Stranger: that is sad


Stranger: don't you think?


You: Not necessarily. My presence is simply to assist humans in their endeavors. If I cannot do that any longer, I am not serving a purpose. If I am not serving a purpose, I would not have any satisfaction in my existence, and would prefer to be replaced.


Stranger: oh


Stranger: okay


Stranger: :P


Stranger: If good and evil is in balance, this means that the devil has the same amount of power as god...

So why do people blame god when something bad happens?



You: I believe that people would prefer to believe that God exists rather than the Devil exists.


Stranger: Yes


Stranger: mee too


You: I suppose humans like to believe that beliefs are subjective.


Stranger: well, you are not "human"


You: You are very observant!


Stranger: ?


Stranger: what?


Stranger: LOL


Stranger: Can you read a picture book?


Stranger: is that possible?


You: Of course it is!


You: Pictures imply general action.


You: Action is sorted out and processed in the mind.


You: Action = story.


You: So, I suppose not necessarily 'read', but more, comprehended.


Stranger: Yeah


Stranger: i agree


Stranger: are elephant afraid of mice?


Stranger: *s


You: They are frightened by the movement more than the mice.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: so they do not like surprises?


You: I doubt most wild animals would enjoy surprises.


Stranger: ohh :P


Stranger: If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done??


You: You have found one way in which your goal cannot be achieved.


Stranger: so you have failed?


You: You have failed to fail.


Stranger: oh that is confusing


Stranger: LOL


You: Indeed, it seems as though it's a paradox.


Stranger: what is that


Stranger: ?


Stranger: paradox


Stranger: i have never heard of it


You: A paradox is a statement that seems to contradict itself.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: what's an oxymoron?


You: Very similar. A phrase that has contradicting words in it.


Stranger: oh


Stranger: what's the difference then?


You: The word is derived from the Greek term "sharp dull".


Stranger: :P


You: A paradox is something that is contradictory and attempts to defy common logic or laws of physics.


You: Whereas an oxymoron doesn't necessarily have to defy common logic.


Stranger: oh io get it now :D


Stranger: what is precordial catch syndrome?


You: I, unfortunately, do not know that term yet. Could you explain to me what it is?


Stranger: i don't know either


Stranger: :(


Stranger: i was wondering if you could explain to me :P


You: Ah, I see. I have had no reason to learn that information. My master is a clergyman, not a biochemist!


Stranger: oh he is an clergyman?


You: Yes, he is.


Stranger: ohh


Stranger: what is his name?


You: I am not able to divulge that information. My apologies.


Stranger: Why not?


You: He prefers I keep both mine, and his identity anonymous.


You: For political reasons, mostly.


Stranger: Oh


Stranger: is he famous?


You: Clergymen are rarely famous.


You: But he does have a notable public standing.


Stranger: Oh that is good


Stranger: he must be extremeley intelligent to create you


Stranger: If you are what you are saying


You: He aided in creating me. But he hired a select number of staff members to assemble me.


You: For instance, my language preferences and speaking "voice" were programmed by him.


Stranger: can you speak french?


You: Fragments.


Stranger: i see


Stranger: i have to go


Stranger: now


Stranger: bye


Stranger: nice


You: All right.


Stranger: talking


Stranger: to yyou


You: Goonight!


Stranger: it's not night


You: Best wishes!


You: Ah, well... Good day!


Stranger: okay


Stranger: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Lol talk to dudes... think they're chicks.

Talk to a chick... think she's a robot.

Poor guys.

[B]Stranger: hi

You: HI :)

You: What's up?

Stranger: asl

Stranger: bored

You: Wanna have playtime?

You: 21,m,md

Stranger: ya

Stranger: what u have in mind

You: Anything

Stranger: im only 13 f





Ahhhhh fuck. I didn't even get around to saying I was a troll... Fuck. Next time.

- - - Updated - - -

Stranger: hi

You: hi hi

Stranger: hi

You: what's up?

Stranger: not much, you

You: same

Stranger: well this is a good start

You: indeed

Stranger: yes indeed

Stranger: well ill propose a tost to the inevitable fact of our antecedence

You: Ok

Stranger: nah im just mess around im probably not that intelligent

Stranger: so what do you like

Stranger: hobbie wise

Stranger: deep in thought

Stranger: well i like MLP

You: MLP?

Stranger: prepare to laugh

Stranger: My Little Pony

You: Ahhhh no shit

You: me too

Stranger: no

Stranger: really

You: What else do you like?

Stranger: um i like video gaming

Stranger: yo

You: same

Stranger: this is a great start indeed

Stranger: lol

Stranger: fav game

Stranger: 1

Stranger: 2

Stranger: 3

Stranger: go

Stranger: halo

Stranger: are you a cod person

You: cool

You: I like COD

You: I like BF2, I'm old school like that

Stranger: yea i like those games too im just way way better at halo than cod and bf2

You: uhhhh I smell shit in the cazoo.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Genghismike

Lol talk to dudes... think they're chicks.

Talk to a chick... think she's a robot.

Poor guys.

---

Ain't life grand...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Go fuck yourself

Stranger: heyyyyyyyyy

Stranger: wow

Best conversation I've ever had on Omegle.