A City that doesn't need a protector, but has one anyway...
This city has been slowly crumbling down like a glass house that someone has thrown a brick at....wait...that's terrible, I'll start again...
This city has been slowly crumbling down, like a sand castle drowning in the soft, pouring rain....yeah, that's better. Anyway, this city has been filling up with crime. Rapists, drug dealers, Gang bangers(Gangsters, I just thought it sounded cool...I'm an ass), bad people in general that need a good beating(clobberin' even....yeah). People of Spamsville City have lived in fear for too long, the police? they won't do anything, they just sit around chatting and having donuts while a gang of thugs beat up a poor defenseless oldfag. Enough is enough I say. It's time the people took a stand against the corruption, against the gangs and rapists and other scum that think they can walk all over the little man/woman. It's time for a change in society....fuck it, it's time we beat the living three shits outta the bad people and take back this city by force.
This is why I "put on the cowl", wear the cape(capes are badass, and if you don't agree, fuck you!), the mask as well. Like my fellow citizens, I'm a victim of crime! And I want them to pay with it. The way I intend to do it? by grabbing my Beer-arangs, and using my beer powers and bash the blood and sweat out of them 'em. My name is Dragon-Beer, defender of all things good and innocent(and partying, of course). And with my fellow Crimefighter/Sidekick, Doctor Tentaclehearts, we will bring down the corrupt temple upon the bad people...And we will party like motherfuckin' G!
This is Drago-Beer giving you a drunken salute, you stay safe, and always remember! to remember your first beer!
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