Be Vague or Meta-Game
Recently, I was meta-gamed by all the players as well as the GM in an RP I am participating in. It was only the gender of a character I wished to keep hidden from the characters but didn't much care about if the players themselves knew about it. It's not entirely serious, but it made the relationships between my character and theirs a bit more strained. When I addressed it, I was told by another player that I did not hide it well enough and then GM decided it was not worth editing/revising and that all characters would know of that particular character's gender.
My next post, he was considered a particular attribute to an extreme degree even though I stated the attribute outside of quotes in passing.
Now, this character's forces are being considered a particular threat when all others have a greater force than his own. I've yet to address my problem with this because of a few things. Also, someone in an RP I'm trying to run is worried about meta-gaming and was worried during an earlier time we RPed together. This tells me this is a wide-sweeping issue.
Should I even continue in this RP if this is going to continue? It is a new member to the Guild running this RP (not an excuse?) and I'm not sure if I'm going to get the same response as last time.
Is it my responsibility to keep things "hidden" OOCly and even ICly that I don't want known by other characters?
Why is there an epidemic of assuming character knowledge and player knowledge as the same thing?
Metagaming can and always will happen to a certain degree (even if unintended) and with the common practice of character sheets being public it's hard to keep things hidden. Differentiating between player and character knowledge is hard for a lot of people, and for some others it's even pointless to do. Personally, when I run into metagaming it's either an accident or a minority of players doing it. Unless it's game-breaking or someone complains about it, I barely even bother. Maybe I'll have a character make an IC remark about it, asking how they knew or found out. That's pretty funny usually because people don't know how to respond to that.
On the other hand, people who metagame deliberately and extensively I usually first call out OOC. If that doesn't work I often 'punish' with misleading information, which, if they stay (this is rare) will cause them to second guess everything you say as a GM (or player if you manage to pull that off) and ironically solve the metagaming issue by skewing the risk-reward ratio for doing it.
If your character's gender was really supposed to be that much of a secret, then I wouldn't have used their real gender in the CS. (After checking with the GM to make sure this sort of thing is ok.)
The GM is the original one who meta-gamed--I researched.
If you are feeling bothered by all of this you should definitely address your issues with the GM.
Instead of being discouraged and dropping try to sort this out, and hopefully he/she is a GM who appreciates his/her players concerns and works to resolve them.
That would be a shame if he/she would rather people walk out of the rp instead of trying to work out their predicaments.
What is so difficult about differentiating between character knowledge and player knowledge? An easy guide:
If something was mentioned in your characters earshot--or you saw something--then your character knows it. If it was stated OOC but not IC (or it was stated IC but not in your characters earshot), then...obviously your char wouldn't know it.
I haven't been meta'd yet, and I hope not too. I honestly haven't run into this problem in my RPs yet--it just doesn't seem there should be a huge problem distinguishing player from character knowledge.
THIS SAID, to avoid spoilers in my plots or side-plots, I often purposfully leave some things out of my CS. It's the easiest way to keep a secret.