I'm glad our dorm has a sense of humor about its health-related emails
Yup. It was also brightly colored and partially in Joker font.
As one of your resident Health Reps, I wanted to send out a few reminders before the Halloween festivities commence!
1. It's important to remember that just because you're dressed like the Hulk doesn't mean you can drink like him. Take a moment to recall that pre-first year mandatory alcohol awareness video training -- aim for the Pleasure Plateau, don't drink on an empty stomach, and drink at least one full glass of water for every drink you consume. Stay hydrated, take it slow, and make sure your tummy is happy - you don't want to end up overly intoxicated or vomming errywhere. That makes for a really scary Halloween!
2. Speaking of scary things -- babies. They are terrifying. Seriously, babies creep me out. They have those huge heads... And they don't blink enough...
It's also never very pleasant to get an STI, even though most are not as scary as unblinking big-headed babies.
If you don't want a baby or an STI, you should think about grabbing some of the barriers heading to a bathroom near you! We have condoms of both the latex and latex-free variety, as well as some lubrication packs. (NOTE: Due to lack of use last year, we did not purchase any dental dams, latex gloves or female condoms. If you want any of these things, let me or Claire know and we'll buy a few for you!) These lovely items will be making their way to bathrooms as soon as we can make proper containers for them! In the meantime, they're all in Claire's room.
Another anti-baby thing you should know is that EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION IS ONLY $20 AT HEALTH SERVICES, which is the LOWEST PRICE IN THE STATE. I'd say, if you think you or a friend might have an encounter with a person who would impregnate you, it's a good idea to stock up on a back-up pill or two. Especially since Health Services isn't open on weekends and it's $55 at CVS downtown.
3. Any other spooky things going on with your mind or body? Don't be cry! You can call x2811 during business hours to make an appointment at Health or Counseling Services and x2813 to speak to a nurse during those hours. If you've got an issue after normal business hours, you can reach a nurse at x1260 and a counselor at x2840.