Not bad JC, Lemme take a crack.
So our day starts like any other Irish summer: Unpredictably. Everyone has long posts mornings, and stuff happens:
Jullian tries to eat more but gets tongue-blocked by his virtual girlfriend, reminding him of his promise to become a man-muffin - Which shouldn't be hard, because you are what you eat.
Scarlett trains - Systema is surprisingly not mentioned.
Ciannait has a rather long opening post, with about three sentences between it.
Stephen's morning consists of references that only I get (heheh thanix cannon), and talking to his VI which is a penguin because penguins fucking rule.
Kainan falls out of a four-story building and survives tries to establish himself as a prankster and says hi to Julian.
Sofiya has a two-paragraph long post about sleeping and waking up, because Prince likes to write useless fluff.
Since we are back in ye olde days, Blandman still exists. Jason drinks tea because he's British, and quips abou the Sydney Opera House getting blown to shit.
Ace has a cup of tea, because he's also British.
Wednesday makes a long post basically drooling over his Gear- Err, 'Mech'.
Niki spills coffee on herself - Everyone demands a wet t-shirt contest be hosted. Suggestion still pending.
Characters out of the way. Wednesday is an ass, Niki gets pissed. Meanwhile, Clover tries to get into Kainan's VI's virtual pants, because even holograms get sex drives. Speaking of sex drives, Julian gets the hots for Ciannait because... Anyway! Class finally starts after more hijinks.
First up is Mecha C.A.R.E (Creation Augmentation Restoration Experimentation, which all sounds a bit cultish if you ask me). Adam Jensen Stephen gets pissed at a generic bully and beats him up. (if he wanted to verbally burn him, Stephen'd just have to ask for his name, gets the NPCs every time) Sofiya wakes up and goes to join the other Strike Witches goes to Mecha C.A.R.E. Ciannait has another long post I can't be bothered to read because each paragraph is like one, maybe two sentences. Everyone then plays robo-tag - Sofiya is given a caffeine drink but whoops! She's allergic to caffeine. First plot twist!
Robo-Tag goes swimmingly, until those damn kids get on Wednesday's lawn, and he politely tells them to keep their activities away from his area.
... Nah I'm kidding he pulls out an Anti-Tank rifle and starts firing, putting several pupils in severe danger. Wednesday puts the kill in killjoy.
Meanwhile, Julian and Sofiya hit it off. There is at least 100% less disproportionate punishment. Their socialising is cut short when the mechs Wednesday shot to shit crash into the classroom. But it's OK, because they were totally on his lawn! Prince then continues a reference no one but him will get, because he's one of two people left in the world who still plays PS1 games. Naturally, people kinda get hurt when their heavy-weight robots get shot to pieces and crash, so the drivers of the White Lion, Smiling Death (I think I once saw a Heavy Metal band with that name) and So-Raptor (So... Raptor anyone?) have to be taken to the infirmary.
The infirmary is Doctor Chiaki's cave, a woman who has weird hair and a weird everything, yadda yadda, yeah yeah. What's really important is that her pet frog is secretly the main villain. Oh shit, spoilers! Forget I said that.
Despite Chiaki being an interesting character to interact with, Kainan decides to turn his 'Squall Lionheart' setting to 11, stopping short of just saying "...". Meanwhile Ciannait is sad that she has to miss classes. Nerd. Then, Sofiya and Jullian head to Mr. Sullivan's classes. They get as far as the front door, before Blandman falls through a wormhole and finds himself at the Jersey Turnpike. He's still classified as MIA. Then, Scarlett decides to exist again, and talks about what happened in her day - Systema is surprisingly not mentioned. Sofiya then tells Jullian a story about her ditzy mother. This is important because I decree it as such.
As this happens, Niki and Ace have a drink. Unfortunately, Ace owns a drink called a Naked Snake - Innuendos start flying more than cannonballs in the Crimean War. They then talk about how Wednesday is kinda a dick, and also goes around shirtless, like he's Liquid Snake or something. Spoilers: Ace will turn out to be Wednesday's genetic clone. "ACE! DO YOU LIKE MY SUNGLASSES?" Also he challenged Niki to a duel. She assumes it will be with Mechs, but, considering Wednesday's general IQ, will probably involve cardboard tubes and football helmets. Afterwards, Niki and Ace flirt more - Christ, just fuck already. Also, Ace turns out to be Joker's English cousin.
Then Reates is introduced, as well as his VI iTap. Once again as this is back in ye olde days, Alex still exists too. Meanwhile back in the classroom, Julian calls Sofiya over to sit and talk. She does so, and talks about how her Mech got stuck at customs - Systema is surprisingly not mentioned.
Our main villains are introduced, and apparently their intro post is a reference to something, but I have no clue. A blue voice rallies some other coloured voice to - by the looks of it - beat the other team in a football match. Go Dublin City Fabs, woof woof!
Back in the real world, a girl is getting raped. Alex decides to be a Big Damn Hero and a fight scene ensues. As this occurs, Hayato Sato is introduced - He brings nothing to the plot, and disappears shortly after. Which is a shame, because Hayato Sato sounds like the name Ryu Hayabusa's cousin would have. Travis is introduced, after Sofiya's boring VI is retconned. He didn't do or say anything, so this wasn't difficult. Julian asks Stephen to teach him martial arts. He eventually agrees, and some other people come along for the ride. Kainan gets annoyed at Travis and turns him off, because his vaguely upbeat attitude ruins his brooding atmosphere.
Rico (not the orange-haired, green demi-human from Xenogears, he's one of the villains) re-enacts that scene from the very start of Silent Hill 2 and then goes to bug Ace in his office, oddly devoid of portraits of the Queen and large, pro-empire posters. He must keep them in his private quarters. Rico gives a blatantly false name, but it happens to be Mercury so Ace is in there. Rico May bothers Ace for some stories.
Celeste Celestina Setou is introduced, and is subsequently crowned the 'Most Obscure Reference' award. Abri (not a typo of that psychic pokemon, he's another villain) then comes in and bugs her. Long collab post short, it turns out that Abri Abri-Cadabra wants to reach out and grab her. He fucks with her mind and gets into the academy's systems because he's made of nanomachines or something (just like that girl from Xenogears! man, i'm making a lot of these references...)
Anyway, at one point during that, Cora (no, i didn't misspell the name of that marine animal, she's another villain, and also the girl getting 'raped' earlier) is taken to the infirmary, along with the body of Bric (Didn't slip up spelling Brick from Borderland's name, quit thinking i'm spelling everything wrong. He's the last of the Fabri Fonzies, our band of villains. He was the one 'raping' Cora earlier. Man, this is a bad summary.) Ace feels a disturbance in the force, and it's finally revealed that this school does have a headmistress. She's Italian. Next!
Cora makes a scene, Rico keeps talking and stuff... But fuck that, shower scene with Niki! Everyone still demands their wet t-shirt contest. Suggestion still pending. Reates then comes around to borrow a cup of sugar or something. Niki gets pissed. Also, Julians calls attention to the fact that the day hasn't even ended. And isn't even close to ending. Celestina is then taken to the infirmary. Shortly after, Bric breaks the bed cuz he's fat.
Back in the classroom, discussion about the Martial Arts club is still going. Scarlett chips in - SYSTEMA~ is mentioned. Meanwhile, Ace's paranoia turns out to be right, as he shoots an invisible Rico Deacon. Unfortunately, it isn't the foreign spies Ace thinks it is, and continues on. Rico Taylor then gets a call from Big Boss that someone is sick, and he has to go kidnap him a doctor. Since only one real doctor exists in Athenian, Rico Bulsara goes to kidnap Chiaki.
Upon entering the infirmary, Mr. Ribbits ribbits at him - No doubt barking orders to his subordinate. In a lengthy sequence of events, Rico Rodgers kidnaps Chiaki, throwing her and Brick down a hole.. Meanwhile in the classroom, they're still talking about this club. Scarlett talks about her life - Which of course, involves SYSTEMA~. Also Abri has taken to bugging Ciannait. Next!
After kidnapping Chiaki, Rico Grose pretends to be Chiaki to try and fool Celestina. Unfortunately, Celestina isn't particularly a fan of Queen, so she doesn't fall for it, and makes a quick escape to find Niki.
Then Reates get in trouble with Ace for barging in unannounced. Alex goes to the medical bay. As Celestina tries to get to Niki's office, her shitty days manages to get shittier, as she is attacked by Dragon-Cora. Unfortunately, in their tongue she is not known as Dovahkiin, the Dragonborn! So she's kinda out of luck, and has to instead employ the tactics of Shattered Memories Harry Mason - Running like fuck. Along the way an NPC gets killed, and eventually Dragon-Cora catches up with her and chews on her a bit, but then Ace and Niki go Ocelot and Belmont on her ass, and she runs off. Celestina gets taken inside.
As this happened, Chiaki gets taken to meet Fabricora, the leader of the Fabri Fonzies. He lives in a weird little cave that's adorned with loads of cultural stuff. He and Chiaki play a question game, which eventually gets interrupted when Fabricora's other personality emerges - While 'Good-Fabricora' is a fairly stand-up fellow who enjoys sitting by lakes and feeding ducks, 'Evil-Fabricora' is a sadistic dick who likes killing people and treating others like shit. (Huh, kinda like Fei/Id from Xenogea- ok i'll stop now) So with her winnings from the game (a recorder with a recording of the game, most prominently), Chiaki finally gets ordered to do what she was kinda kidnapped to do - Whoops. Hope that girl wasn't too sick, hehe... So yeah, operating on the girl involves being stripped down to her birthday suit - It's so she won't bring any germs in, we swear - and being disinfected. Chiaki then meets Eve, who is also naked. They socialise, which eventually degenerates into some naked playing about on the floor with vague lesbian undertones. But really, she's naked so she won't bring germs in. Then G-Fab tells Chiaki that all she has to do to heal Eve is touch her, cuz Chiaki is a descendant of Derek Stiles, and as such has the Healing Touch or something. She touches Eve and then emerges dead in the real world again. I do hope that will be explained.
As this happens, the Martial Arts Club decides to actually exist, with Sofiya tagging along because she totally has a thing for Julian, but doesn't dream about love, and as such doesn't know anything about it. It starts off professional enough, but then Frokane's character Lowell is introduced, and decides he hates Ace. Because the brittle-boned, emotionally confused Brit doesn't have enough to worry about. Lowell picks a fight with the Bully Brigade, which everyone gets roped into. Yes, even Sofiya. Sleeping Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I guess. Anyway, the fight turns into a duel over Extra Credit chips, and then Lowell falls into the same wormhole Mr. Sullivan tripped into and ends up in the Narration Zone, forever doomed to narrate over slideshows because another game stole their funds. Also, Scarlett was there so of course SYSTEMA~ was mentioned tenfold.
Also Alex was accused of murdering some people Rico Mitchell murdered, and then some RP drop-out's mech got blown up by a guy who loves the smell of napalm in the morning. Gray Fox also appears. I dunno.
And that brings us to where we are, I believe! Man, that was roundabout. Surprisingly easier to read than the whole 25 pages, though, so you can thank me in backrubs/monetary donations.