1. Grif of hearts
There once was an adventurer named Grif, an almighty shape shifter that earned it's place in the court of spam years ago after it's debut against a dragon on a fucking blimp. Some say it's a she, some say it's a male, but all we believe is. Grif is a fucking bad ass. Needless to say it's abilities alone can smack a narwhale in the face and then eat it's horn for lulz.
Enough to devour
Such a feat
Can only be experienced by those who have accepted defeat
You probably would have tasted like game.
(Grif The Fucking Adventurer)
2. Love That Panda, the DINOSAUR
Pandasaurus is a rare dinosaur that lives in the region of spam. Many speculate why it lives there, but the most recent scientific advances say that it lives off spam. This rare dinosaur also takes care of pandas as well as breeding with them. Which is really odd if you think about it. -_- When all humanity thought spam would be lost to the torrent of Maxi there was a shining light as Pandasaurus bit his head off. Earning her the name Pandasaurus THE BARD. Why? We don't really know...
That deserve applause.
The appearance of an angel
(nothing rhymes with angel so fuck me)
Black and white
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FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
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A chef's knife
Creating an elixir of life
That doesn't exactly go well with the fishes.
A man of status
Probably should go on Hiatus.