pointless thread do not post

[Vanquished]

Why am I tired.

Why.

I think I'm sinking into a food coma.

Help.

*splashes water*

My god she's not breathing!

*performs mouth to mouth*

[Taaja Hart]

Get some food, then. You're in the fucking kitchen. It's rather readily available xD
Or, my cider will arrive at some time.

Food coma meaning now that I have consumed food, I am inevitably exhausted.

*splashes water*

My god she's not breathing!

*performs mouth to mouth*

O_O -chokes-

[HaloAssault]

*splashes water*

My god she's not breathing!

*performs mouth to mouth*

I'm actually a certified first aider, so STEP ASIDE.
*Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation*
Two rescue breaths, thirty chest compressions, 30:2.
Interlace hands, pull lower one back with upper, place heel of lower palm on middle of chest, thirty compressions several cm deep. Roughly twice per second, for 30 compressions/15 seconds.
Two rescue breaths
*Mouth-to-mouth*

Ah, I am rather satisfied to say I am certified. Feels good bro.

[Vanquished]

Food coma meaning now that I have consumed food, I am inevitably exhausted.




O_O -chokes-

Can't tell if choking is good thing or bad thing.
>.>
<.<

Paddles STAT!

[Taaja Hart]

Can't tell if choking is good thing or bad thing.
>.>
<.<

Paddles STAT!

I'd rather the messy kissing/breath exchange to the paddles...


>_>

[HaloAssault]

Can't tell if choking is good thing or bad thing.
>.>
<.<

Paddles STAT!

Ahem, no!
In the case of an obstruction in the throat, after discerning the issue, bend patient at 45 degree angle and tell them to cough. If unsuccessful, up to 5 heavy blows to the point directly between the shoulder blades. If unsuccessful, move to abdominal thrusts. Up to 5. Rinse and repeat until obstruction is cleared or Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation is necessary.
THEN get the paddles.


...what's wrong with me that I bothered writing all that?

[Fearless]

Mouth to mouth? :O

[HaloAssault]

Mouth to mouth? :O

Hell yes.
I can test it on you, if you like.

[Taaja Hart]

I AM RESUSCITATED.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN.

[Vanquished]

Ahem, no!
In the case of an obstruction in the throat, after discerning the issue, bend patient at 45 degree angle and tell them to cough. If unsuccessful, up to 5 heavy blows to the point directly between the shoulder blades. If unsuccessful, move to abdominal thrusts. Up to 5. Rinse and repeat until obstruction is cleared or Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation is necessary.
THEN get the paddles.


...what's wrong with me that I bothered writing all that?

*SLAPS*
too serious. Stopppppppit.

I uh.....wasn't kissing you Taaj. Nope. Not what I was doing. I was trying to save your life. I obviously succeeded. My work here is done.