His words carry a weight that would break a less interesting man's jaw."
"He's a lover, not a fighter; but he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas."
"He is the life of parties he has never attended."
"His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man's entire body."
"He can speak French... in Russian."
"He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me."
"If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him."
"If he patted you on the back, you would put it on your resume."
"He once taught a dog to bark... in Spanish."
"He bowls overhand."
"Sharks have a week dedicated to him."
"He lives vicariously... through himself."
"He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels."
"When in Rome, they do as he does.""Mosquitos do not bite him, purely out of respect"
"He is: The Most Interesting Man in the World."