(This is probably a stupid idea, but really, there's no way of knowing for sure unless I try...)

Over my years of tabletop roleplaying, I've come across more random mutation tables, critical hit tables, and similar things than I can easily count, and I thought I'd see if I could put them to good use again. Keep 'em from gathering dust. As such, I present this silly little service!

It's common in RP's for characters to get mutilated, gravely injured, mutated, cursed, poisoned, or otherwise harmed in a colorful manner. If you're as indecisive as some people I know, however, you may have trouble deciding exactly what you want to ail said character.

Just give me a description of what kind of malady you want, being as vague or as specific as you please, and BAM. (not-quite) Instant badness.