Secret Admirers.

[Grif of Hearts]

Whatever happened to being honest about your feelings and hoping for the best?

Because that's worked so well for you so far.

[Sole]

Take advice from American Pie:
Blow jobs under restaurant tables are rad.

So must be ones under lunch tables.

[PaladinFoster]

Because that's worked so well for you so far.

It actually has.

[Tempest]

It actually has.

1 time is just a fluke, mate.

[Bela]

It actually has.

There's always an exception to the rule.

[PaladinFoster]

I'm a quality over quantity kind of guy.

[Tempest]

I'm a quality over quantity kind of guy.

he says before he is inevitably dumped, but she still thinks of him "like a brother"

[Orbb]

I've been watched by this junior from the other side of the cafeteria for weeks. He sent his friend to talk to me a few weeks ago, and it's been back and forth for several classes about who he is. Eventually, he gave me his number. Still hasn't officially talked to me face to face. He says he's too shy. What do?

Hunny, if this kid can't even have a conversation with you, his excuse being 'too shy', I honestly don't think he's worth your time.

But what do I know?

xD

[Svenn]

Rosie don't listen to these freaks. Half of them wouldn't know what to do with a relationship. Listen to your Mother dear.

Obviously you need concoct a six month-long scheme that will involve a imaginary stalker, a fake almost rape attack, a need for a comforting protector, and a second fake attack.

First you need to request the help of a good male friend, who doesn't mind his ass being kicked. This friend will be your "stalker".

Then once you secured the stalker you need to text this guy saying, "are you following me around after school?"

If he's not a creep he'll say, "no. why?"

Then you say, "oh...no reason"

For the next three to four months, progressively inform him that you think you're going crazy. You keep seeing someone following you. Make jokes about it and ask him a few more times if it's him, jokingly.

Then one night around the fourth month, you should have discovered who he is. Show up at his house after giving yourself (or having a friend do it) a few bruises and maybe a bleeding cut or two.

Deny telling him what happened and just say you needed some comfort. He'll probably try to convince you to go to the police. Tell him, "I just tripped down some stairs" and angrily leave.

Don't talk to him for a few weeks. Finally after some silence call him up and invite him over, one night when your parents are away. Before he arrives call your "stalker" up and get him to come over in a complete disguise. Stage it so your admirer arrives right after your stalker has "broken in" again. Make sure that your stalker gets away.

After the encounter he will feel completely bound to you and feel an overwhelming need to protect and love you.

Rose, listen to Bela. So far every post that i see her make, makes sense and something good comes out of it. She probably has the most experience than most people here. I'm a guy so I don't know much, but ^ she makes sense.

[Rilla]

Time for some 'black tips.'

Talk to him. - If he's shy, that automatically means he is going to be your bitch.

Listen to Bela - She may be a psycho bitch and you may lose all respect for yourself - but it won't matter, you'll be entertained.

Blowjobs under - anywhere. Not just tables.

Last, but not least - Get him to meet you somewhere and you two have a nice long chat, while skipping one, if not several, classes.

Works.
Every.
Time.

*Rules altered if the practitioner of these rules is male and the target is female*