Drabble me!

[SmexySpiral]

And all was hot.

New York Times Best Seller line right there.

[PaladinFoster]

I am not sorry for this one bit. Most of you newbies won't get it, but some of us oldfags will love it.

The Adventure Of The Bull

The Mammoth and Code Guru were out for a gay Valentine's walk in his ass. As they went, Code Guru rested his hand on The Mammoth's lip. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so muscular, The Mammoth was filled with hairy dread.

"Do you suppose it's sweaty here?" he asked gayishly.

"You horny silly," Code Guru said, tickling The Mammoth with his homosexual. "It's completely sexy."

Just then, a hot bull leapt out from behind a hunk and fucked Code Guru in the asshole. "Aaargh!" Code Guru screamed.

Things looked sexy. But The Mammoth, although he was manly, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a beefcake and, like two gay men never had before, beat the bull lustily until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."

Then he clasped Code Guru close. Code Guru was bleeding forcefully. "My darling," The Mammoth said, and pressed his lips to Code Guru's penis.

"I love you," Code Guru said gayily, and expired in The Mammoth's arms.

The Mammoth never loved again.

[Darkdrago666]

Merriweather Godensberg woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one inquisitive box that looked like a beer.

Then Merriweather Godensberg noticed that Burnice Hedrow was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Merriweather Godensberg thought that he would surprise Burnice Hedrow. Maybe even sneak up behind her and dance her on her jolly foot. That always made Burnice Hedrow happy.

Merriweather Godensberg crept backwardly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its amused lights, and the presents, heaped up calmly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Burnice Hedrow. Kissing someone.

Merriweather Godensberg was so angry, he picked up a bed from a table and threw it abasedly on a floating dick.

They both looked around.

"Burnice Hedrow, you foolish narwhal!" Merriweather Godensberg yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Merriweather Godensberg looked and then rubbed his tongue and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Burnice Hedrow said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a smiling kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Merriweather Godensberg said huskily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be fat."

That seemed reasonable. Merriweather Godensberg went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a monkey fornicating on a goose. He made Merriweather Godensberg's Scrotum feel all beautiful.

"You see?" Burnice Hedrow said cajolingly and Merriweather Godensberg saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The best one I've done, by far.

More Adventures of Merriweather Godensberg and Burnice Hedrow coming soon.

[Herzinth]

The Battle For The Letter

Left you there, Alyss abandoned her letter. She had been busy with the letter for hours and now wanted nothing more than an unattainable cuddle or a lonesome massage from her lover Jenna.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her forbidden Jenna appeared at the door, grinning single handedly.

"Put down the letter," Jenna said pathetically. "Unless you want me to leave that letter on your hand."

Alyss put down the letter. She was sad. She had never seen Jenna so lonely before and it made her blue.

Jenna picked up the letter, then withdrew a note from her shoulder. "Don't be so sad," Jenna said with a lonely grimace. "A bernese mountain dog bit my tear this morning, and everything became lost. Now with this letter and this note I can pathetically rule the world!"

Alyss clutched her impossible tear hurriedly. This was her lover, her forbidden Jenna, now staring at her with a lonely shoulder.

"Fight it!" Alyss shouted. "The bernese mountain dog just wants the letter for his own forbidden devices! He doesn't love you, not the unattainable way I do!"

Alyss could see Jenna trembling hurriedly. Alyss reached out her hand and touched Jenna's shoulder pathetically. She was forbidden, so forbidden, but she knew only her impossible love for Jenna would break the bernese mountain dog's spell.

Sure enough, Jenna dropped the letter with a thunk. "Oh, Alyss," she squealed. "I'm so unattainable, can you ever forgive me?"

But Alyss had already moved left you there. Like the forbidden apple on the tree of knowledge, forever tempting, yet forever unattainable, she pressed her hand into Jenna's shoulder. And as they fell together in a lost fit of love, the letter lay on the floor, blue and forgotten.

Even trying to do one that wasn't a joke, it sounds like a joke.
A badly, badly, written joke.

[PaladinFoster]

Is no one else getting the Mammoth/Code Guru slash fiction thing? Is that only funny to me?

[Kill Bones]

Is no one else getting the Mammoth/Code Guru slash fiction thing? Is that only funny to me?

I got it, Pally.

[Darkdrago666]

Is no one else getting the Mammoth/Code Guru slash fiction thing? Is that only funny to me?

I thought it was a harrowing tale of love and death with a sad ending.

It makes me crai evertim.

[Elendra]

Necromancy?

Jorick and Butter were out for an orgasmic Valentine's walk on the D. As they went, Butter rested her hand on Jorick's beard. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so runny, Jorick was filled with rectangular dread.

"Do you suppose it's ersatz here?" he asked mockingly.

"You adequate silly," Butter said, tickling Jorick with her bondage kit. "It's completely buttery."

Just then, a boring blorb leapt out from behind a loofah and enjoyed Butter on the D. "Aaargh!" Butter screamed.

Things looked incandescent. But Jorick, although he was tubular, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed an old movie and, like Natsume crawling up the ass of a giant pit monster, beat the blorb arrousingly until it ran off. "That will teach you to slipped innocent people."

Then he clasped Butter close. Butter was bleeding indecently. "My darling," Jorick said, and pressed his lips to Butter's thigh.

"I love you," Butter said chidingly, and expired in Jorick's arms.

Jorick never loved again.

...

I regret nothing

[Sophistikit]

"and enjoyed Butter on the D. "Aaargh!" Butter screamed."

lol

[Elendra]

You know, some of this only got worse from my diction. Tickling with a bondage kit.
Also, I'm pretty sure beating the blorb meant something different in this context