Pure Spamination

[Jster]

PURE SPAMINATION:
A Prequel?
By Jster

[The lights are low as JSTER furiously taps the keys of his computer. Words fly across the screen and he stops, scratches his head, and erases what he’s written.]

JSTER: No, this won’t do! It must be perfect! This is going to be viewed in the same halls of glory that the great FOXES’S pieces were read.

[JSTER takes a sip of his tea sitting nearby and rereads what’s he’s written.]

JSTER: “Oh don’t worry, BELA will be alright. We don’t incinerate the trash on Thursda…”

[Suddenly the door behind JSTER is knocked down and in storms none other than the Shaskperean Spam Scribe himself. The world renown FOXES.]

FOXES: God dammit JSTER! You will not steal my thunder! The plays and musicals were a FOXES Production. I am the lord of Spam original content! I will not allow this to continue!

[FOXES pulls out a fire axe and begins attacking JSTER’s computer. JSTER screams like a little girl and runs out of the way. As FOXES brings the axe down again on JSTER’s computer JSTER catches it.]

JSTER: FOXES, calm down! I’m not stealing anyone’s thunder. I’m just bored damn it!

FOXES: I don’t care what you are. I’m the only one allowed to be funny!

JSTER: But I’m not funny! We saw that when I lost a popularity poll to ROSE SWAN... And she's boring as hell!

FOXES: There can’t even be a chance!

[FOXES goes to swing again. JSTER interrupts.]

JSTER: FOXES, Hold your breath. Make a wish Count to three.

[FOXES stares at JSTER as if he’s just gone insane, rather ironic if you ask THIS author.]

FOXES: What are you…. Oh fuck are you about to sing?

Jster: [Singing]
Come with me
And you'll be
In a tale of
Pure spamination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your spamination

(JSTER grabs FOXES hand and begins ball room dancing with him about the room. FOXES appears scared.)

We'll begin
With a spin (Jster Spins Foxes)
Traveling in
The play of my creation
What we'll read
Will defy (Jster dips Foxes and gestures to the door Foxes burst down. It is now back on its hinges.)
Explanation
(Jster lets go of Foxes, who falls to the floor, and begins trotting towards the door.

If you want to view paradise (Jster grabs the door knob)
Simply look around and view it (Jster gestures to the entire room.)
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it
(Jster flings open the door in a grandiose manner. Foxes stares through at what appears to be a fantasy land. Inside the sky is pink and the sun smiling. The trees and flowers are all dancing along to the music. The cartoonish joy is infectious and FOXES finds himself humming along. Many spammers are strewn about this paradise. BELA stands on a stage being watched by millions of adoring fans. NEXERUS is at a podium speaking to a large assemblage of grammar Nazi’s about to march on the library. SORA is surrounded by many extremely attractive homosexual men, all of which are throwing glitter at each other. NATSUME is eating paste in the corner. FOXES rushes forward excitingly to get in the door but JSTER stops him. JSTER smiles and nods his head letting FOXES through. FOXES begins gallivanting around the Spam paradise. JSTER casually strolls in, still singing.)

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure Spamination
Spamming here
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

(JSTER walks past SCRIBZ covered in bitches. Looking very bravheart. GRIFOFHEARTS, OZYMANDIAS, and TORMENT PAIN are all hidden by a large censor bar. PALADINFOSTER is balls deep in Homestuck related activities. ELENDRA is beating fundamentalists with science textbooks. ACE is drinking fine wine and insulting stupid people. JSTER tips his top hat to these fellow spammers as he walks around the land.)

If you want to view paradise
Simply click around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it

(JSTER walks back to the door to his room. He looks back to see FOXES in pure bliss. He smiles and walks through the door, closing it behind him. He sits back in the chair in front of his computer.)

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure Spamination
Spamming there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be
(JSTER sighs and turns back to his computer typing away)

WILLY WONKA AND THE SPAM FACTORY:
COMING SOON (?)

[rpg101]

[Sinrus]

You have my blessing. Go with God.

[Jster]

You have my blessing. Go with God.

Many thanks my great sirs. Many thanks.

[Scribz]

I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Though, to be a real foxes production.

It'll need that extra foxes bit of flare.

Y'know, that signature little delight he has will all of his plays.

The part were he never finishes it maybe?

[Jster]

I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Though, to be a real foxes production.

It'll need that extra foxes bit of flare.

Y'know, that signature little delight he has will all of his plays.

The part were he never finishes it maybe?

I'm hoping to strike out on my own and not have to hide under the shadow of the great Foxes style. Maybe I will finish, maybe I won't. The world may never know.

[Bela]

Jack....I can't even. Feelings. I've begun to have them for you and I can't describe them....owait. I can.

My Body. It's Ready.

[Darkmatter]

I hope that Willy Wonka and the Spam Factory really is coming.
Tallyho! Pip pip good show and all that.

[Knifey Keith]

*Throws molotovs at everyone in the thread*

WHY DON'T GIRLS LIKE ME?

[Rose Swan]

Fuck you, I'm not boring.