"My mother were called Sister Lydia, and my father was called Brother Blake. They were both monks of the Holy Shaolin temple, and pretty darn loyal ones, too. When I was born, my mother and father didn't know what to do with me.
I was a monkey.
...Well...that sounded awkward.
No, I wasn't an actual monkey. I had some weird hair disorder, a really really weird and rare one. I also had some sort spinal distention of a tail. This one put both my parents and the doctor in a shock. It wasn't unheard of, as you could easily find it on the internet....but it was still frickin' shocking.
However, my mother and father treated me no different, as monkeys were their favorite animals. The people at the temple treated me with respect, though some of the more...eccentric Sisters had the tendency to glomp me and rub my fur. After a threatening glance from my mom, and a stern talk-to from one of the more respected members, they stopped.
Now, at the age of 3 I was starting to show my real personality. Disturbingly energetic, agile, acrobatic...my parents didn't know what to do with me. I swung around our little cabin, I kept hitting old Brothers in the groin, and I couldn't help but fart randomly when we all were praying.
So, they decided to help me curb at least a mini amount of my energy. They hired a martial arts instructor, one of the most experienced at the Temple. Ironically, he was one of the few masters of a dangerous martial art form, the Drunken Monkey.
My parents thought that this was funny, but I didn't get the joke. I was only 3 back then.
Anyways, my Sensei taught me everything he knew over the 13 years. Well...everything except for the more...dangerous moves. However, I begged him to give me the scrolls. He refused, saying that I would learn them over the course of my years at the Academy. I, of course, didn't know what he meant. That was when he informed that he and my parents enrolled me into some kind of Martial Arts Academy.
At first I was hesitant, but after a calming talk with Sensei, and some tail-pushups....I eventually accepted it.
And....this is where my story beings, at the age of 16.
Corny, I know. However, I was getting tired of writing this auto-biography, so I hurried the ending. Don't judge..."