The hero you probably don't want, but may possibly deserve
Kevin arrived to the party late. Actually he didn't even make it at all. He was panting, and tired, despite the halfway decent athletic shape he was in. He was resting his hands on his knees when a robot soared overhead.. which was around the time the Baylee arrived. Kevin paused, lifted a hand.. and waited. "Beam... GO!"
The robot opened fire, nearly hitting Kevin in the face. "ARGH, FUCK, IT'S NOT WORKING! YOU WANNA FUCK WITH THE AMAZING COSMO, BITCH?! DOUBLE BLAST!" He rolled in a circle and threw two punches.. but nothing came out. "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!" Kevin blurted. He ran as a rocket was fired at him, and leaped away.. but an explosion hit him, sending him crashing into a brick wall.
Kevin hit the ground weakly, wincing, and rolled but he was still shot two times. Once in the arm and once in the leg. He tried standing, but did so weakly on one leg. Baylee was still there, and while shaking in agony Kevin said, "The fuck're you doin' citizen!? Go! This.. whateverinthefuckitis is tryna kill me!" The robot in front of him began glowing.. one hand pointing at Kevin.. the other aimed at Baylee.
Why her..? Why did she always have to show up where he was?! Kevin's eyes squeezed shut and he screamed out, "KAME MOTHER FUCKING HA!" He blurted desperately, and two neon blue lasers shot out, one nearly cutting off the robot's hand zeroed in one Baylee's location, the other hitting it in the second. It fired back, sizzling into Kevin's side.
"Fuck!" Kevin cried out, crumpling to the street while catching himself with a hand, the other pressed to his profusely bleeding side as another robot arrived to back up the current unit. "You..." pant... "big ass..." pant... "Arnold looking mother fucker." He then crumpled face first to the sidewalk.