Reply With QuoteEdited my post up, hopefully you like it more
Also Troy WAY to many 'He' use his name or something. Repeating the same thing over and over is not exactly fun reading. Also a little more backstory could be put in like how his morning went or his thoughts before meeting the head master.
"You have the power to make a difference, don't you? Then why not put it to good use? We have precious little time. Including time to think it over. " - Mu La Flaga, Gundam SEED
Edited my post up, hopefully you like it more
I'll Not make the same mistake next time. And I shall now fill those in with names.
Using he every once in awhile is ok but not constantly. Use different words to describe him. Also adding in some more detail about his day before going to the office or his thoughts while waiting would be welcome details.
And its ok now Sekai thank you.
"You have the power to make a difference, don't you? Then why not put it to good use? We have precious little time. Including time to think it over. " - Mu La Flaga, Gundam SEED
I'll add those in when I return.
JUST "ok"!? JUST!? Not great, or amazing, or much better, just O-FUCKING-K!?!?!? Cool.Originally Posted by VanceXentan
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Please laugh
Alright I'm not trying to nag you guys on the IC but when you add more or wait more in some cases it pays off because we learn more about your character and you get to flesh yours out even more.
Also
"You have the power to make a difference, don't you? Then why not put it to good use? We have precious little time. Including time to think it over. " - Mu La Flaga, Gundam SEED
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I walked into that one.
surprised Knight, or anyone for that matter, have not posted a CS yet.
"You have the power to make a difference, don't you? Then why not put it to good use? We have precious little time. Including time to think it over. " - Mu La Flaga, Gundam SEED
talk to those who need to do stuff
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