Too Raunchy for the Female audience...

[NikoSmith]

My love scenes in my story are too raunchy. I mean I want that, however I need to cater to both male and female audiences. So I need advice, assistance on how to go about making my scenes...poetic or just something the female audience would enjoy reading. You can PM if you're going to get descriptive and give me very mature examples. This is a serious question. But anyway...

I mean I got pretty technical with the body parts/anatomy, and purposefully put some descriptions to make people smile or even want to gasp. For example "slippery when wet", I'll let you decide what that's about. And the way the characters talk to one another during their action seems realistic to me. At least it's realistic in the sense of how the characters would talk to one another.

The story revolves around the witches, vampires and werewolves. It's a horror adventure but it's by no means a book for 16 year olds...this is not Twilight...and I'm trying to give it that appeal of 50 shades of grey, I read a excerpt...wasn't impressed.

HELP. Hopefully this is the appropriate place to put this. I'm sorry if it's not.

[Darkmatter]

My only advise is don't be too technical.

[Alphakoka]

Erh, I have no suggestion or advice on this particular topic but:

It's a horror adventure but it's by no means a book for 16 year olds. and I'm trying to give it that appeal of 50 shades of grey,

You might want to be careful if you're not doing this offsite or through PM.

EDIT: Ah, my mistake. But yeah, cut down the technical part.

[Catharyn]

What Darkmatter said, and whatever you do don't make people cringe. A lot of people take an opportunity like a cringe love scene to go and make a cup of tea or go out shopping. This isn't good. You want your book to make your audience read it all in one sitting. Keep their interest by keeping it simple, not getting into enormous detail and not lingering too long on something as sensitive as that. You want them to be hungry for more; not shivering with distaste.

[NikoSmith]

I'm certainly not doing this on RPguild, this is a series I've been working on since high school lol.

Okay, so I should avoid using certain terms and make them hungry. Simplicity seems so simple though but I understand what you're saying.

I would think I want them to cringe at some points to just bring up different kinds of feelings. You have this love story within the book and then out of nowhere you have a seen where biting takes of certain appendages. I want the reader to be a little disturbed but I understand how that can deter them from even reading again. I mean it's nothing like South Parks episode where Butters makes a book about...good god.

Are there any good sources I can look at for inspiration?

[Catharyn]

What kind of inspiration are you thinking of? Compelling readers to keep going?

[Kestrel]

Build shit up. Also make your audience feel, not watch. I'm not really an expert at erotica, but that's kinda basic... Which you should know if you're writing horror.

[Darkmatter]

Basically think of this way, technical anatomy isn't sexy. Goofiness can often be quite sexy.

[NikoSmith]

Well inspiration for just writing the love scenes, so any books that will get me in a frame of mind that can just subconsciously teach me. I got a plot going, it just takes certain kinds of people with certain interest to really get into it. So if you don't like supernatural/action then it might not be for you to get into, but there is a hint of eroticism as well as the fun trappings of horror, monsters, blood and maybe a hint of graphic sadistic erotica.

I've always had a problem just making the reader feel. I tell the story as if I'm a griot speaking to their descendants.

Thank you guys so much for the advice. And just another question if you don't mind answering it. What do you like to see in Vampire/Werewolve/Supernatural stories. Is there something that you miss that hasn't been done lately? I mean I have the lore pretty much for my types of creatures, however it never hurts to revamp an idea.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Eh, the gender gap is getting smaller and smaller everyday. It's starting to become very unhealthy for people to change/alter their work in an attempt to appeal to a certain gender.

However, if the question were to be worded as "what can I do to appeal to an audience that prefers more poetic work than raunchy work?", the answer starts to seem a little self explanatory, make it like technical and literal, focus more on the feelings and the mood rather than the sexual actions taking place.

But honestly, all the best pieces of work no matter what they are become great because the author(s) stay true to their original vision and don't change just to appeal to a larger audience. So if you believe how you wrote your book or roleplay currently is how you envision it then don't touch it and let it shine as it already is.

Well inspiration for just writing the love scenes, so any books that will get me in a frame of mind that can just subconsciously teach me. I got a plot going, it just takes certain kinds of people with certain interest to really get into it. So if you don't like supernatural/action then it might not be for you to get into, but there is a hint of eroticism as well as the fun trappings of horror, monsters, blood and maybe a hint of graphic sadistic erotica.

I've always had a problem just making the reader feel. I tell the story as if I'm a griot speaking to their descendants.

Thank you guys so much for the advice. And just another question if you don't mind answering it. What do you like to see in Vampire/Werewolve/Supernatural stories. Is there something that you miss that hasn't been done lately? I mean I have the lore pretty much for my types of creatures, however it never hurts to revamp an idea.

Vampires that don't sparkle and watch teenage girls sleep all night along like some insane stalker.
Werewolves that aren't into their ex's babies.

In all seriousness though I would prefer such stories to be more dark, mature, realistic and related to early legends and/or where werewolves and vampires originated/started off media wise.

But to use vampires as an example, I would defelently say Dracula >>>>>> Twilight Vampires by a long shot.
But my favourite kind of Vampire is not like Dracula but more of a mix.
You take some of the dangerous features of vampires like inhuman strength and speed (like in twilight but not as extreme) which you will find in places outside of twilight too. (Though I've never played it, "Vampire The Masquerade - Bloodlines" is a good example of what I'm refering to" here.

I like the dangerous features things like twilight introduces, but I don't like the whole sparkle, pedophile shit it also brings.
I like classic vampires but the whole garlic, cape, bat turning and "I'm gona suck your blood" in an odd british accent just seems a little too fake.
I'm not the best at wording things like this, but hopefully someone here get's what I'm saying and can word it in a better way than I can.

In terms of supernatural in general though, just dark, scary, mature and treating you like an adult.
I mean I can appreciate a good romance when it comes, when I highlight my faults with twilight I'm not trying to say "No! Bad Romance! Bad!", cause romance is a great plot device and very good for character development, and I do enjoy romances when done right. However something that focuses all around a romance like some soap opera...