Corsair (OOC)

[pyrak]

Dalj lowered his head and heard another group barge into the bar, one man was angry over the death of member of his caravan, another was appalled at the act itself. Dalj made no effort to talk them down, he would defend himself. And only that, he was himself again, the killing was over. He heard the man who called him a savage beast lung forward to attack. Dalj quickly spun on his chair and lifted his left katana to parry the mans attempt at breaking it, and his right to block the attack on his torso. He then kicked the man in the gut with his left leg and stood up taking his stance he exclaimed. "Im sorry, I dont remember doing this. Im not well." Dalj paused and lowered his head shaking it back and forth. "Im not well." Just then a women dove into the bar though a window, and without warning threw two blades and fired a crossbow at Dalj, the element of surprise was to much for Dalj to compensate for. He was able to move his head out of the way of the first knife, and move enough so the second knife landed in his left shoulder instead of his heart. The crossbow bolt found his left side, He dropped to his knees gasping in pain.

just then Dalj heard the Town alarm sounding in the distance, everyone briefly glanced in its direction before returning there concentration to Dalj. A militia messenger ran though the streets shouting, "Raid! Raid! Raid!" Dalj's eyes widened and he realized this was his only chance to survive the night. He lifted his head, "Let me fight! Ill defend the town with my life!"

totally convincing a guy with a xbow bolt in his guts that's tip is designed to shred up whatever it is stuck in and continue to shred it as the person moves around and a practicably unusable left arm, yah have fun defending the town with a huge gaping wound in you side because Antrana will what both her bolt and knife back.

[Frettzo]

Oh well thanks for the advice

- - - Updated - - -

Well, you could use a spellchecker, Pyrak.

[Bainshie]

Welp Upon reading the last two pages of anti Dalj rants, We will see where things, go just posted again, trying to sort things out as they are. I am sorry, I was kinda in a "eh fuck it" mood and didnt put a lot of thought into it. As for my characters behavior, I ment to make it clear in his profile that when triggered this is the kind of stuff he is prone to. Sorry if that was not clear. If he survives the night, perhaps I could re-orient him towards a more villains type role. Thoughts?

Again sorry for the bad post, really jumped the gun on that one.

Note that everything I'm saying is for your own benefit. I started out almost as bad, and only through time and critic will you get better (I'd show you some horrendous RP if the EU Wow forums archive was still working).

Firstly, I would ditch the current character you have. Mostly for three reasons.

A: Your character is currently in a 'unforgivable' position with several members of the party. Scree, Frettzo's, Drake, etc etc. It doesn't matter how many raiders you kill, you still murdered 20 dudes in cold blood. There's very little you can do to change that. (Especially with Scree).
B: So you'd have to be a villain. I'll tell you this straight. Playing villains is hard. Very hard. You do not have the writing experience to be able to pull that off.
C: Frankly... your character isn't very good.

What you need to do is think what kind of character you want to play. Although having a tortured split personality does work, it is very very hard to pull off convincingly, and trust me, based on your writing skill, again, you don't have the skill to pull that off yet. Here's some tips on making a character.

1: Make sure your character basis works with the current other characters. If you look at our characters, although there's a lot of diversity ranging from cold 'I'm doing my job' to innocence, to chaotic good, to lawful good, they all fit within the spectrum of 'good guys'. Looking at what they are going to be doing, a lot of fighting is going to end up at hand. That means that a guy who flips out and starts killing innocents every time he sees a drop of blood isn't going to get along well with them.

2: Have your character based on one core idea. If you can't described your character in one word-three words, you've got a character that's trying to be too many things. Your current character is a gentleman, but at the same time a tortured soul, but at the same time a top notch assassin. That overall creates a character that's weak, as the core isn't stable. For instance my word for Scree was 'Curiosity'. Through questioning this word you can get a lot of ideas for history and culture.

3: Use that word to generate at the very least 3 quirks and 3 weaknesses. Strengths are easy to come up with, weaknesses not so much. However every character needs them, weaknesses of the mind and weaknesses of body. These weaknesses should be true hurdles that your hero, if faced against, is basically going to be fucked. These then can come together with 2 to create an overall personality. The Quirks should be things that are out of the ordinary, a love of peanuts, something that if you see this character, sticks out because of them. As you get better this step will become

4: History. Again this is important, even if not written in the RP. Now you have to explain all the of above, and why your character is like this. Just go through it logically on how a person you get to this stage. This is a good way to find issues and contradictions with your character. For instance, a person who's tortured by constantly flipping out over violence isn't going to arm himself to the teeth, and train himself to be a super assassin. If anything he's going to do everything he can to be pacifistic.

5: Always stay true to your character. Although sometimes for the sake of the story you have to fudge this, always write from a perspective of 'What would my character do?'. If your character wouldn't do a certain thing, don't do it. Don't be afraid to ask the other player characters to nudge your character in the right direction.

Anyways, I hope you do come back better RP'er after all this.

[zackthedalj]

totally convincing a guy with a xbow bolt in his guts that's tip is designed to shred up whatever it is stuck in and continue to shred it as the person moves around and a practicably unusable left arm, yah have fun defending the town with a huge gaping wound in you side because Antrana will what both her bolt and knife back.

The knife wound can be relatively minor depending on where it hit. And if someone would be willing to remove the bolt carefully, That could also be a wound someone could fight with. Assuming your guys dont jump on me and insta kill me. Keep in mind im also more drunk then sober, and given that im an experienced survivalist and warrior, fighting under those circumstances is not out of the realm of possibility.

[Frettzo]

The bolt hit Dalj's side, possibly breaking a rib and puncturing one of his lungs. With the current medical level of the world, he's soon going to die. If he was hit on the shoulder, there's a chance he got an artery severed, and that's going to make him bleed out.

[zackthedalj]

Note that everything I'm saying is for your own benefit. I started out almost as bad, and only through time and critic will you get better (I'd show you some horrendous RP if the EU Wow forums archive was still working).

Firstly, I would ditch the current character you have. Mostly for three reasons.

A: Your character is currently in a 'unforgivable' position with several members of the party. Scree, Frettzo's, Drake, etc etc. It doesn't matter how many raiders you kill, you still murdered 20 dudes in cold blood. There's very little you can do to change that. (Especially with Scree).
B: So you'd have to be a villain. I'll tell you this straight. Playing villains is hard. Very hard. You do not have the writing experience to be able to pull that off.
C: Frankly... your character isn't very good.

What you need to do is think what kind of character you want to play. Although having a tortured split personality does work, it is very very hard to pull off convincingly, and trust me, based on your writing skill, again, you don't have the skill to pull that off yet. Here's some tips on making a character.

1: Make sure your character basis works with the current other characters. If you look at our characters, although there's a lot of diversity ranging from cold 'I'm doing my job' to innocence, to chaotic good, to lawful good, they all fit within the spectrum of 'good guys'. Looking at what they are going to be doing, a lot of fighting is going to end up at hand. That means that a guy who flips out and starts killing innocents every time he sees a drop of blood isn't going to get along well with them.

2: Have your character based on one core idea. If you can't described your character in one word-three words, you've got a character that's trying to be too many things. Your current character is a gentleman, but at the same time a tortured soul, but at the same time a top notch assassin. That overall creates a character that's weak, as the core isn't stable. For instance my word for Scree was 'Curiosity'. Through questioning this word you can get a lot of ideas for history and culture.

3: Use that word to generate at the very least 3 quirks and 3 weaknesses. Strengths are easy to come up with, weaknesses not so much. However every character needs them, weaknesses of the mind and weaknesses of body. These weaknesses should be true hurdles that your hero, if faced against, is basically going to be fucked. These then can come together with 2 to create an overall personality. The Quirks should be things that are out of the ordinary, a love of peanuts, something that if you see this character, sticks out because of them. As you get better this step will become

4: History. Again this is important, even if not written in the RP. Now you have to explain all the of above, and why your character is like this. Just go through it logically on how a person you get to this stage. This is a good way to find issues and contradictions with your character. For instance, a person who's tortured by constantly flipping out over violence isn't going to arm himself to the teeth, and train himself to be a super assassin. If anything he's going to do everything he can to be pacifistic.

5: Always stay true to your character. Although sometimes for the sake of the story you have to fudge this, always write from a perspective of 'What would my character do?'. If your character wouldn't do a certain thing, don't do it. Don't be afraid to ask the other player characters to nudge your character in the right direction.

Anyways, I hope you do come back better RP'er after all this.

You seem to be omitting a reasonable amount of data from your analysis of my RPing skill and my character.

1: one bad post is not stone clad proof of someones ability, it was a lazy moment, And frankly I have never been in an rp where NPC's were viewed how they are here. My mistake yes, but not indicative of my story telling ability.

2: If you looked at my character more thoroughly you would realize he became plagued with his mental illness after he had already trained himself. His training began in early childhood, were he became mentally ill around his twenties. So chronologically, his character development is sound. And the idea that he would act as a pacifist simply because he has split personality's is not based in logic or standing precedent at all. People with such disorders are prone to paranoia, as such it could be expected that he redoubled his training to protect himself.

3: Unless the entire crew is so short sighted that they cant recognize mental illness, though good story telling Dalj could come back from this, Im sure there is medical equipment on the ship that would benefit his mental state. And people have an amazing capacity to forgive and forget when they have something like mental illness to blame and the person is obviously not inherently evil.

4: While I am rusty my RP ability is above average and I am more then capable of playing a villain. While I have no evidence to support that claim given the opportunity I would be more then willing to prove it.

and lastly I say this in humor and please no one take it seriously, but, Sxle started it. lol.

[Holeypaladin]

Actually, it doesn't matter.

The way Dalj defended against Drake's attacks means he dies.

Drake's swords are designed to cut through powered armor (they're monomolecular isometal vibroblades). So they'll cut through Dalj's katana's parry attempt, slice his body in half, and keep going.

They're obviously not of this world.

Also, according to Achenaran law, there is no insanity defense. Murder is murder, whether you were in your right mind or not. So yeah, Drake doesn't care.

[zackthedalj]

The bolt hit Dalj's side, possibly breaking a rib and puncturing one of his lungs. With the current medical level of the world, he's soon going to die. If he was hit on the shoulder, there's a chance he got an artery severed, and that's going to make him bleed out.

That is two big "ifs" not only have we not conclusively stated the damage yet. but People have survived much worse, and given that his man is in peak physical shape. I think your just pushing the "kill it, kill it with fire" button. I get it I screwed up, but it doesn't have to be the end of his story.

[WittyReference]

(There are clearly a few people in this RP who when compared to the rest obviously are in the beginning of their writing career, names not to be mentioned.)

Oh, oh, is it me? I've been having a hard time exemplifying Jabber's Twilight-esque brooding so I wouldn't be surprised ;P

[zackthedalj]

Actually, it doesn't matter.

The way Dalj defended against Drake's attacks means he dies.

Drake's swords are designed to cut through powered armor (they're monomolecular isometal vibroblades). So they'll cut through Dalj's katana's parry attempt, slice his body in half, and keep going.

They're obviously not of this world.

Also, according to Achenaran law, there is no insanity defense. Murder is murder, whether you were in your right mind or not. So yeah, Drake doesn't care.

Aw, ok, when I read that you guys werent bringing guns I also thought you would leave all advanced weapons behind. Ok, how should I die?