Twas the month of Chrismahanukwanzakah, when all across RPG
Spammers frolicked through the threads with glee.
The gifs were selected for sexual and humorous intent,
To prevent dwelling longer on a disagreement.
Kara was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in her head.
Watched over by Christie, her lover,
Who eventually snuck in under the cover.
Rusa joined, and was met with a warm embrace
Cupping a feel through soft, thin lace.
Hiding under the bed was boogyman Zed
Pondering the theory of being inbred.
Out from the closet jumped Kanga and Keny,
Placing on the bed a passed out Bea.
Joining the girls one by one,
Quickly in walked Christie’s son.
Herzi stared, his mouth agape,
Planning a way for a quick escape.
Behind him a wild Sophi appeared,
Giving him the stare that we all feared.
As the boy would stumble and stutter,
He was soon comforted by his lover, Butter,
Who offered delicious fudge with care,
Eaten after they had spoken a prayer.
With everyone present, the party would commence.
Lights flashing, music blaring, fog and foam dense,
They all partied to their heart’s content,
Doing questionable things without consent.
“HO, HO, HO!!!” A loud voice boomed,
And when they all saw Kyu, they knew she was doomed.
Running from Jorick who repeated this phrase,
Chasing her down with his malicious gaze.
As his arms reached out, they were suddenly bound,
Tentacles dragging him to the ground.
Grif guffawed as he watched his victim squirm,
His tentacle-grip harshly firm.
Primez shattered the window as he made his way in,
Coming to the rescue as he punched Grif’s chin.
As the tentacles retreated, Jorick threw down his red hat.
“I have had enough of that!”
David frowned furiously at Jorick’s proclamation,
As he entered the room in utter frustration.
He cleaned the shattered bits of glass,
Mumbling the words, “But we need you, Santa!” laden with sass.
The bedroom was getting cramped, they were all well aware,
And as Scribz, Hellis, Nox, and Archer walked in, they would stare.
“Lets move this to the kitchen,” Christie said,
So they followed her to the scent of gingerbread.
Holmes was seen handing out cookies to another guest,
Who would afterwards declare that they were the best.
In the living room huddled around the tree the others sat,
Conversing with their friends: Aussie, Mike, Squee, and Nat.
Stories were told both old and new,
As they each enjoyed a delectable warm stew.
The fireplace crackled as Guru roasted a marshmallow,
Preferring s’mores over the homemade jello.
Seba, Guru, and Rose all cuddled,
Chatting about Nerdfighters as they became fuddled.
TP and Rilla wrestled on the floor next to Awson,
Who begrudgingly squirted them with his water gun.
Aragorn put on his yarmulke
As he prepared to celebrate Hanukkah.
The candle lighting ceremony would proceed,
Followed by dancing, laughter, music, and weed.
More people joined the Spammers,
Who were all met with clamors.
Drago led his band in, made up of Ace, Hank, Smiral, and Drakel.
They all rocked out on their ukuleles, none of which played them well.
“Fuck this noise,” Jorick exclaimed, climbing the chimney to his sleigh.
His reindeer had abandoned him, to his dismay.
Going back in, he plopped on the couch.
“Back so soon?” Christie smirked, then hid in Kanga’s pouch.
Sipping hot cocoa provided by TP,
They all spoke through the evening until they were sleepy.
As the SpamFam huddled close by the firelight,
Jorick was heard whispering, “Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah to all, and to all a good night!”
Everyone else was there too,
But they were in the loo.