Mirror Session: Homestuck fanfic

[Laughingman]

I'm hoping this is the right place to put this - please let me know if not!
I've recently got into homestuck after hearing about the kickstarter success, and, having now read up to where it it now, I had a few ideas, and I want to write a fanfic to use them in. This is my first attempt at such a thing, so I welcome any criticism!
I plan on writing it in a similar style to Homestuck. I'll put any visual details in square brackets, as I'm not the greatest artist :P

Mirror Session, act 1: Setting up the pieces.
A young man stands in his large bedroom. [He is somewhat stocky, and has mostly short brown hair, with a small quiff at the front. His eyes are also brown. He is wearing a shirt, jeans, necktie and muddy Wellington boots] It just so happens that today, the 21st of December, is the beginning of a new era, at least according to the Mayan calendar, and the release date for Sburb, at least according to the calendar on this young man's wall. This is no doubt a coincidence. Regardless, what is this young man's name?

>Enter name

No, 'Stinky Fartface' is not a suitable name. Try again.

>Try again

'Roy Fisher' is much better.

>Examine room

Your name is Roy. As was previously mentioned, today is the release date for Sburb, the videogame you look forward to playing with your friends. Although it has been released, only people who preordered it will actually recieve it today. You, along with your friends, have done so, and this is why you're waiting in your room, which happens to show your interests.
Your EXPENSIVE COMPUTER is in the South-West corner, ready for the game. You enjoy playing VIOLENT MULTIPLAYER SHOOTERS on the internet. In addition to this, you spend a large portion of your time seeking ANIMAL PESTS on your farm to stuff and mount on your Northern wall. You are very good at doing so with your FATHER'S SHOTGUN. Others may regard your wall display as SOMEWHAT MORBID, but you don't care what they think. Playing country music on your ELECTRIC GUITAR and reading Western stories are GUILTY PLEASURES for you, and you would love to acquire a Stetson, to complete your ranch hand outfit, although you can imagine the butler's disapproving look he'd give you, and there isn't much of a LONG DRIVE between your herd of cows and the butcher's down the road. You like to grow crops on your farm, but you aren't very good at it, as you have a habit of forgetting to water your PUMPKINS. Sometimes they disappear. You think THE BUTLER takes them. You're an aspiring fisher and hope to be worthy of your family name but sadly your lake lacks any fish. Instead, your TOP-OF-THE-RANGE FISHING ROD is more often used to remove shot birds from trees for stuffing, or knotted for an improvised lariat-on-a-stick.
What will you do?

>Roy: Retrieve firearms from corner of room.

What firearms? There is only a pile of keys to the various doors to rooms in your LARGE COUNTRY HOUSE. Anyway, you've already CAPTCHALOGUED your FATHER'S SHOTGUN in your DUCK HUNT FETCH MODUS.

>Roy: CAPTCHALOGUE keys, TOP-OF-THE-RANGE FISHING ROD, ELECTRIC GUITAR

You add the items to your DUCK HUNT MODUS. This means, when you want them again, you simply have to shoot the duck carrying the corresponding card and the butler on screen will catch it on his platter, ejecting it from your SYLLADEX. The only problems are that all the pictures on the CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS are too pixellated to be identifiable, and that you only have another three (3) CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS.

>Play lonely cowboy song.

You play on your guitar a song that soon evokes a lonesome herder sitting at a campfire on the plains, looking up at the moon as the coyotes in the nearby canyons howl to it. It is so sad you shed a single tear, sparkling like the imaginary stars.

>Equip FATHER'S SHOTGUN

You add your father's trusty firearm to your SHOTGUNKIND SPECIBUS. (You like the 'unkind' in there. It makes you laugh every time.) You're sure he's fine with it - someone has to look after the house while he's away, running his SUCCESSFUL YOGHURT BUSINESS, which is OFTEN. And that butler sure couldn't be trusted with such a fine weapon.

===">

Speak of the devil! You hear a knocking at the door to your room that has you jump, pulling the trigger of your gun!
It's a good thing you have the foresight not to wander around with it loaded all the time. That would just be plain reckless. Gun safety is everyone's responsibility.
Moving on, you return your shotgun to your sylladex. The knock was no doubt from that very same butler, probably wondering when you'll be down for BRUNCH.

>Roy: Open door

[A suited butler with a comb-over, bow tie and curly moustache is at the door, a silver platter holding the SBurb preorder edition in one hand, and a towel in the other. He flickers temporarily, and the mud on the floor from Roy's boots vanishes, transferred to the towel] Although you'd rather avoid the potential ruckus of a master-servant STRIFE, you open the door, and are rewarded to find he is carrying on his platter your SBURB: PREORDER EDITION.

>Roy: Install SBurb.

You captchalogue the game, and the butler nods and leaves, giving you one of his vast range of looks. You've pretty much given up trying to interpret them.
You then sit at your EXPENSIVE COMPUTER and attempt to retrieve it. You get lucky, hitting the right bird first time. As it had not got up to a great height when you shot it, the item is ejected at a low speed, so you can catch it and place it in your computer. It should only take a short time to install, seeing as your computer is so darn EXPENSIVE. As it does so, however, you may as well be one of Roy's friends while you wait.