Spammer Made Emperor *Hypothetical*

[Jorick]

First thing I'd do would be to abolish the U.S. Constitution and have a new, modern constitution put in place. I'd also go through removing fucktarded laws, putting in place tons of other things. That's a bunch of tedium though, so fuck describing it in depth.

My next major move would be to drastically cut military spending and funnel most of that money into scientific ventures, mostly research. There's no fucking need for our one country to make up over 40% of the yearly military spending of the entire world. We can cut out 3/4 of our military spending and still be a nice way ahead of China and such.

After that I would go full on socialist with the country, privatize all important things and regulate them such that everyone has affordable access to shelter, food, water, gas, medical treatment, etc. Oh, also some new tax codes that'd bring us back to what we had in the 1960's and before, with tax rates on the highest earners being 70% or higher. Rich people lived fine and comfortable lives back then under those tax rates, they could do so now.

So yup, I'd turn the U.S. into a very much socialist nation. After people stopped being all butthurt and crying about socialism being evil they'd recognize how much better things are and would love it.

[Clirkus]

Commit genocide on an extremely large scale -- cull every morbidly obese American.

No, start hosting a Hunger Games for them instead.

[KnightShade]

---

No, start hosting a Hunger Games for them instead.

For maximum gore fill the cornucopia with big macs

[Vena Sera IV]

Put "younger blood" into the government, people who aren't still cligning to ideals of years now long gone. Stop goofing around in external affairs unless they're a threat to us and focus on getting the economy out of the toilet. And if *that* works, go on with major reforms, get people to love me for a few years. Then suddenly, boom, Hunger Games, oppress everyone and have that run for about a decade. Finally, disappear to some desolate island, leaving them wondering what the heck happened to me.

[Elendra]

Okay, new idea.

I'd convert America into a Parliamentary Monarchy, instead of like, an Empire or w/e.

Have it so things are based off a Mixed Member Proportional Representative thing for the Parliament, and have those guys really in charge and what not. I'd then turn myself into a figure head, but only after ingraining it in people's head to respect me, and make people of other places want to come and be like "Oh shit it's that Monarch of America dude." and spend money here. I'll become a living tourist attraction for the USA, making them more money indirectly than they pay me to live a comfortable life.

Also, I'll say things like "I'm not amused."

Monarchs say that a lot, right?

[KnightShade]

Queen Victoria actually often wrote "We are very much amused," in her diary, but then again she preferred Disraeli to Gladstone so what did she know.

[Kill Bones]

First thing I'd do would be to abolish the U.S. Constitution and have a new, modern constitution put in place. I'd also go through removing fucktarded laws, putting in place tons of other things. That's a bunch of tedium though, so fuck describing it in depth.

My next major move would be to drastically cut military spending and funnel most of that money into scientific ventures, mostly research. There's no fucking need for our one country to make up over 40% of the yearly military spending of the entire world. We can cut out 3/4 of our military spending and still be a nice way ahead of China and such.

After that I would go full on socialist with the country, privatize all important things and regulate them such that everyone has affordable access to shelter, food, water, gas, medical treatment, etc. Oh, also some new tax codes that'd bring us back to what we had in the 1960's and before, with tax rates on the highest earners being 70% or higher. Rich people lived fine and comfortable lives back then under those tax rates, they could do so now.

So yup, I'd turn the U.S. into a very much socialist nation. After people stopped being all butthurt and crying about socialism being evil they'd recognize how much better things are and would love it.

Pretty much this. Also lay down as many pro-choice social policies as I could, and generally be the best leader ever.


And when I felt everything was super fucking great and I got old as shit, I'd publicly televise my own suicide, blowing my brains out after screaming 'Sic semper evello mortem Tyrannis!'

Just to fuck with everyone.

[Sherlock Holmes]

First order of business as Empress - A donut with chocolate frosting and sprinkles.

Second order of business - Appoint Jorick as my Prime Minister. (So he can deal with the boring stuff because I just don't care. XD)

[Jorick]

Pretty much this. Also lay down as many pro-choice social policies as I could, and generally be the best leader ever.


And when I felt everything was super fucking great and I got old as shit, I'd publicly televise my own suicide, blowing my brains out after screaming 'Sic semper evello mortem Tyrannis!'

Just to fuck with everyone.

Sounds like a fun exit strategy. Better than waiting until some radical right wing group of tards finally succeeded in an assassination attempt.

First order of business as Empress - A donut with chocolate frosting and sprinkles.

Second order of business - Appoint Jorick as my Prime Minister. (So he can deal with the boring stuff because I just don't care. XD)