Serious Version *You Are Emperor Of America*

[ActRaiser]

You are made Emperor of the United States. What do you do to improve/protect the country?

[The Australian]

Outlaw New Jersey.

[Whetfeather]

I would probably require everyone to take a test that proves they aren't a complete idiot. If they don't pass.. BOOM. Dead.
With this cycle continuing on, future generations will be smarter and more inclined to do things to protect themselves as well as the standards of the country as a whole rather than be complete idiots in the system with a huge paycheck.

[Frizan]

I would make public torture of criminals of more extreme crimes mandatory. These sessions would be broadcasted live across the nation.

[Whetfeather]

I would make public torture of criminals of more extreme crimes mandatory. These sessions would be broadcasted live across the nation.

Ohhh. Good one.

[★LunaLight★]

Hire smart people to help me solve major issues? Force all state government to receive national funds based on performance. Take the topic of evolution off of the school board's list of problems. Get the CIA to prank former presidents I didn't like. Other stuff...

[mdk]

Methodically eliminate every possible government agency.

[MorningWood]

Force the backward states to get their shit together. Outlaw all existing religions: it shall be replaces with an emperor-worshipping religion. Stop de embargoing of Cuba. Compulsory IQ of +100. Ally with Germany if they ever got involved in another World War. Destroy North Korea.

[Lady Rawr]

1. Announce the biggest review of the political, economic & legal systems – citing the ‘current situation’ as proof that everyone has being doing everything wrong.
2. Public ‘purges’ in which every corrupt or exploitative figure (business/government or otherwise) is rounded up and given menial community work until they realise that being a dick is just not acceptable –that we are all people who have to live together.
3. Cease all aggressive foreign policies – and instead offer real genuine aid, with a focus on similar reforms taking place over the world.
4. Announce globally that the US is no longer a ‘country’ in the traditional means of the word – as being nationalist/patriotic means that you should love your race (humanity – not specific ethnicities) and not a patch of land you were randomly born on. Decree that any country who wishes to do the same will benefit from total and utter cooperation in every way. (No – not ‘peace & love’ – just sensible unprickishness)
5. Work out a system in which people don’t have to waste their entire lives working for someone else, making someone else money and being miserable because of it. A focus on community aid and helpfulness in which the work is spread – and average working hours are cut by over half.
6. So on and so forth until the world ISN’T a total shitwhole ruled by prats who are only looking out for themselves.

Not sure exactly how it’d be achieved – but at least it’s the right bloody direction for a change!

[Blue Tempest]

Launch all Nukes! Blow this planet to Kingdom come!