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Thread: First World Problems

  1. #1
    awesome. Noxious's Avatar
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    First World Problems

    There are plenty of things I could put in this thread and I did want to leave it open ended since this is SPAM and nothing should really have a definitive goal or purpose. I just wanted to share a funny story.

    I went to sleep last night, all cozy and curled up in my bed. THEN at 3 AM I get a phone call from my ex. If it was friday I would have known why he was calling, but he's been sick and it was a wednesday so I was like...oh God, he MUST be in the hospital (or in jail). So I answer.

    Him: "Hey, so guess what you did to me?"
    Me: *please don't let it be herpes, please don't let it be aids* "What? Are you ok?"
    Him: "Oh, oh yeah, just doing FINE. Remember those pain killers you left over here?"
    Me: "Yeah, I don't have anymore though."
    Him: "Oh that's okay because I just took the last one. It had a lightening bolt on it and now I am tripping balls."
    Me: "You took a pill with a lightening bolt on it and thought it was Vicodin?"
    Him: "It was in your pain killer bottle!"
    Me: "It was extacy..."
    Him: "I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS NOW!"
    Me: "You owe me 15 bucks."
    Him: "I'm bored, alone and rolling. Want to watch a movie?"
    Me: "Goodnight. Have fun. 15 bucks."

    -click-

    the end.
    if you have read amory wars feel obligated to PM me.

  2. #2
    Consulting Detective Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Random. XD

    - Omne ignotum pro magnifico -

    The Sketchbook || 221B Baker Street || The Irregulars || The Science of Deduction
    .

  3. #3
    Nerdfighter Vena Sera IV's Avatar
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    Huh... Well, willing to bet he'll leave the medicine cabinet alone for a while.

    By the ever talented Lillian Thorne!

  4. #4
    Queen Sophi's court. Keepvogel's Avatar
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    So, lightning bolts mean ecstasy...
    uhm...



    Now we all know what happened here. Voldemort is even more of a bastard than everyone thought.

    ^ Every project. Ever. ^

  5. #5
    With a K KnightShade's Avatar
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    Someone say Vicodin?

    and he shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit

  6. #6
    Lurk So Hard Sovoy's Avatar
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    Classic.

    This reminds of this weekend I spent in Paris, boarding in a hostel with two starving artists. One of them spoke fluent French, while the other was a aspiring valley girl with more ambition than ability. The former was a painter, and together we spent many long hours in Monmarche. She would paint the most beautiful oil depictions of the winding, hilly streets. Her attention to detail was extraordinary. Every cobblestone and brick was paid sufficient attention. I would go with her to write, though comparatively speaking my art was a small, infantile thing. We left France on good terms, promising to return together one day in the future. I went on to London, while she spent time in the Loire Valley. I've been there myself, and while the castles and vineyards of the area are extraordinary, I imagine they are only half so extraordinary as the paintings she left France with.

    I would not hear from her for years. I was at a hotel in New York City when I received a call on my cell phone. It was her, and she had a statement and a question for me. She told me she loved me, that through the years she still remembered me fondly, and asked me if I could meet her at the airport tomorrow morning. I said four words.

    "Money over everything, hoe."

    I never saw nor heard from her again.

  7. #7
    The Lop-Eared Urchin Herzinth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sovoy View Post
    Classic.

    This reminds of this weekend I spent in Paris, boarding in a hostel with two starving artists. One of them spoke fluent French, while the other was a aspiring valley girl with more ambition than ability. The former was a painter, and together we spent many long hours in Monmarche. She would paint the most beautiful oil depictions of the winding, hilly streets. Her attention to detail was extraordinary. Every cobblestone and brick was paid sufficient attention. I would go with her to write, though comparatively speaking my art was a small, infantile thing. We left France on good terms, promising to return together one day in the future. I went on to London, while she spent time in the Loire Valley. I've been there myself, and while the castles and vineyards of the area are extraordinary, I imagine they are only half so extraordinary as the paintings she left France with.

    I would not hear from her for years. I was at a hotel in New York City when I received a call on my cell phone. It was her, and she had a statement and a question for me. She told me she loved me, that through the years she still remembered me fondly, and asked me if I could meet her at the airport tomorrow morning. I said four words.

    "Money over everything, hoe."

    I never saw nor heard from her again.
    Meh

    Glory Fades
    80



  8. #8
    Lurk So Hard Sovoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzinth View Post
    Meh
    Basically.

  9. #9
    The Lop-Eared Urchin Herzinth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sovoy View Post
    Basically.
    Nice basis, but the punchline wasn't as good as the last 'story' you told.

    Glory Fades
    80



  10. #10
    Now Clickable AwsonRew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keepvogel View Post


    So, lightning bolts mean ecstasy...
    uhm...

    [IMG]-fwhip-[/img]

    Now we all know what happened here. Voldemort is even more of a bastard than everyone thought.
    It's not just lightning bolts. But for Christ's sake, why would you take a pill with a lightning bolt on it and think it's not children's vitamins or molly?

    But there are a lot of different colors and emblems on ecstasy (brands). So, as a rule of thumb, if a pill has anything out of the ordinary on it like a freakin' dolphin or a leprechaun ... make sure you have plenty of water and pop that shit XD

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