I'm glad you made it back alive.
Yesterday I promised some of my lovely Spammers that I would go on an adventure today and then tell them about it, so here it is. Enjoy.
I had absolutely no plans when I woke up this morning, other than I knew I was going to do something other than sit around the house all day. I recalled a few items that needed returning so I used them as an excuse to go out. However, I didn't really feel like going by myself, so I called up my best friend. Sick. My other good friend was at college so that wasn't going to work out. Then I remembered a friend from one of my classes. We get along very well, both of us being fans of Doctor Who, Sherlock, LOTR, and anything out of the ordinary. So I called her up (yes, it's a her. no, she's not my girlfriend), told her I wanted to have an adventure and being the cool person she is, she said yes.
We were a sight, I'll say, with my trench coat and her sort of 4th Doctor fashion style.
So I picked her up and we drove to the mall, I returned stuff, and since one of those return items was a book, we ended up at Barnes & Noble. So we poured over all the shelves of fiction and biographies and fantasy novels and talking to each other in extraordinarily bad British accents. I had no idea what I wanted, and after browsing everything I still didn't. Then it hit me.
Sherlock Holmes, volumes 1 & 2. (Yah, I know, phone takes crappy pictures) The best bit is that my exchange money covered them both, with three bucks to spare
Anyway, then we went to this tea shop thing 'cause she was gonna get some tea for her mom, still talking in awful British accents, when we actually run into a group of authentic Brits. Boy, that was awkward, but also hilarious.
After that, we got Cinnabons, and she recited and performed this poem from me. In the middle of the food court.
All my pwoblems
who knows, maybe evwybody's pwoblems
is due to da fact, due to da awful twuth
dat I am SPIDERMAN.
I know. I know. All da dumb jokes:
No flies on you, ha ha,
and da ones about what do I do wit all
doze extwa legs in bed. Well, dat's funny yeah.
But you twy being
SPIDERMAN for a month or two. Go ahead.
You get doze cwazy calls fwom da
Gubbener askin you to twap some booglar who's
only twying to wip off color T.V. sets.
Now, what do I cawre about T.V. sets?
But I pull on da suit, da stinkin suit,
wit da sucker cups on da fingers,
and get my wopes and wittle bundle of
equipment and den I go flying like cwazy
acwoss da town fwom woof top to woof top.
Till der he is. Some poor dumb color T.V. slob
and I fall on him and we westle a widdle
until I get him all woped. So big deal.
You tink when you SPIDERMAN
der's sometin big going to happen to you.
Well, I tell you what. It don't happen dat way.
Nuttin happens. Gubbener calls, I go.
Bwing him to powice, Gubbener calls again,
like dat over and over.
I tink I twy sometin diffunt. I tink I twy
sometin excitin like wacing cawrs. Sometin to make
my heart beat at a difwent wate.
But den you just can't quit being sometin like
You SPIDERMAN for life. Fowever. I can't even
buin my suit. It won't buin. It's fwame wesistent.
So maybe dat's youwr pwoblem too, who knows.
Maybe dat's da whole pwoblem wif evwytin.
Nobody can buin der suits, dey all fwame wesistent.
I gave her a standing ovation, then we wandered around for a bit, talking about how we should organize a flash mob, maybe a Cyberman invasion or somthing XD and eventually made our way back to the car.
Now, I did talk to a few strangers, but the conversations didn't last as long as I had hoped, so mostly I just stared creepily at people. Anyway, on our way home we stopped at a Walgreens to pick up some cough medicine for my sister. We stalked some random guy in there for a bit, and I found this:
Nope, didn't buy it, but I was tempted. Those are actually eyeholes too.
The rest was relatively uneventful, I dropped her off, then was tailgated by some moronic semi-truck driver all the way home -_- which sucked, because my road is on a busy highway with no bypass lane. The good news is I didn't get run over.
And here I am, telling you all and fulfilling my promise that I'd do something fun today. Now I'm gonna go eat something.
I really want a senator to just read that fucking poem during a filibuster.
I'd vote for him.
Funniest Spammer 2013
Most Quotable Spammer 2013
Spam Prince 2013
Look at these meaningless awards
Drown me in your jealousy baby
But if a senator read that in session I would totally vote for him too.
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WOTM #26: Evil Wins is open and accepting entries through June 4th.
... You sound like a fun person to go on an adventure with.
Originally Posted by Sophi, in regards to Hank
This sounds awesome. Take me with you next time!
“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
"The broad wall of Babylon shall be leveled to the ground, and her high gates shall be burned with fire. The peoples labor for nothing, and the nations weary themselves only for fire."
"It is more blessed to give than to receive."
"For the word of God is living, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
"Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident."
"Let us hold fast to the profession of our faith without wavering (for He is faithful who promised), and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works."