The Land of Forndeilum

[ChaChaPanda]

Would you look over our character as well? No character should be unjudged.

That link is broken for me, leads to a non-existent page.

[Ellri]

Hmm... Right. Was broken for us too. Ought to be fixed now.

We should've double-checked it.

if it doesn't work, use the image link in our signature. but it should work.

[ChaChaPanda]

Yep, that fixed it. All looks well as far as I can see.

[Ellri]

do you see any problems with Rtron's character (other than the one we pointed out above)?

[Jarmakla]

Name: Roland Shineseeker
Age: 94
Race: Dwarf
Homeland: Grarsteinn
Loyal to: Dwarven king

Appearance: Standing at a standard 4'4", Roland has been raised in the Shineseeker tradition of treasure hunting. A surprisingly quick fellow, he has picked up the tricks of being a rogue fairly quick, learning to put his axes to very effective use in his many expeditions. He wears regular leather armor, though they are scuffed and mended repeatedly. He has brown eyes and long brown hair, braided and tied back. He keeps his beard mostly trimmed to about 5", a nice compliment to his lanky build. He has a scar over his left eye, from a trap that had been sprung in one ruin.

Class: Rogue

Skills: Lockpicking, axe throwing, dodging, trapfinding, underground survival, and Bluffing.

Magic: None

Background: He was born a member of the not very highly regarded clan of Shineseeker. He was taught from day one that you can only trust what you know is true, and you can rarely trust your friends. A standard sounding clan of rogues, they were infamous for their massive delves into the ruins, doing more than daring the risk, but challenging the ruins to kill them. This reckless bravery is somewhat inspiring yet rather frightening to some, but the clan believes that dying in the pursuit of treasure is the ultimate death, and if they come across the remains of those who didn't make it, he was taught to give them proper burials.

He finally led his own expedition, being watched over by one of the clankin, and he showed his worth when he detected a trap none other had, a cleverly hidden spike trap. This gained him respect in his elders' eyes, and he is now allowed to explore ruins with any expedition he cares to join.

Personality: Motivated by treasure, Roland will do anything to find that next cache. He would never unnecessarily sacrifice his dwarven brethren, but if he can get the treasure, he will go for it. A bit aggressive, he tends to ask for the truth while simultaneously bluffing.

Equipment: 5 throwing axes, leather armor, and a battleaxe are his standard gear. He will always have his thieves' tools with him, and will generally have a roll of paper and inkwell with a nice pen so he can write up a deal with any he comes across. He has a back pack on delves with a lot of rope and a grappling hook, in addition to a bedroll and pitons with a hammer.

[Ellri]

Nice character. Very nice to see you expanding on possible world lore (creating a clan). We left a lot of details empty just to open for such.
We see nothing wrong with it.

[Ellri]

ZayZe:
Feels a bit short when compared to the others. maybe elaborate it a bit?

How do each of those traits make up his personality? Other than the fatherly lesson about rash decisions, how has his past given him those traits? What makes him stand out enough to want to affect the greater world?

How tall is he? what is he dressed in?

[ChaChaPanda]

Rtron: Decent background and such, but I have problems with how this character seems to be so skilled. He is a virtuoso with a hammer and crossbow, a master smith, and he can cast primitive magic? Seems a little much to me. Also, the magic didn't seem to fit in anywhere in the background- he just suddenly started using it. Any explanation as to where it came from?

Jarmakla: All seems well

ZayZe: Character concept is fine, but execution is still sparse.

Thought I may as well give my thoughts to them all.

If we continue to get this influx of ranger-esque characters I may post a new character sheet as a warrior. As things are going it looks like any fights we have are going to be long range artillery duels.

[ChaChaPanda]

In my view, its less about what you write, and more that we get a good indication of how proficient at writing you are. Maybe describe physical appearance in more depth? A paragraph or two would suffice.

Ellri has the final say on all things, mind.

[Ellri]

you helped us work out much of the concept (and kept us from abandoning it), so we'll be taking your thoughts well into account, ChaChaPanda.

also, for all: if you've got thoughts as to anything that might make RP even better, don't hesitate to speak up.