His Return [xlillyx and HR]

[HopelessRomantic]

Yesterday, at the party when Jamie had fucked up big time, he thought that he couldn't possibly feel any lower or make things even worse. In fact, he thought he couldn't fuck up any more than he had yesterday. Until now. He'd known by Julia's look; by her silence. He'd fucked up well and truly this time. Because he'd kissed her and then he'd told her to leave. He should have given an explanation, a reason, heck, he should have mentioned Reece. Anything. He was sure that it was pretty much certain, that no matter how Julia had promised that she'd be around to help him, after today, after been back for only two days and fucking up twice, it was almost guaranteed that Julia wouldn't be seeing him again.

Jamie had lost both of his best friends. And he'd never felt lower. With that in his mind, he wheeled himself back to his bed and managed to get himself lying on it. He had one of two options now. To lie in bed and sulk, or to work off his own pain and anger trying to walk again. Fifteen minutes later he had made his decision and was back between the bars pushing himself to walk.

---

Reece returned from work early again today, just after lunch having booked off the rest of the day and tomorrow so he could be with Julia like he promised. He'd even picked up a few wedding things in hope that she'd cheer up talking about their wedding. He'd found this nice little cake shop in the city randomly one lunch break and he thought the cakes were to die for. He'd gone in today and bought a few of their cupcakes hoping that that would cheer Jules up too. She loved to bake and paint. And he hoped he had the right idea in mind to make her happy.

Though he had no idea that she knew he'd gone to see Jamie. He had figured that after coming back so upset from his place, she'd never go back.

Pulling up to the house, he smiled, grabbing the brochures and boxes with the cupcakes. He was pretty impressed with himself. Making his way into the house, he put his things down on the kitchen counter and called out for Julia. "Jules, I'm back early again. Managed to book the rest of today and tomorrow off so we can have that long weekend. I also got some surprises for you." He called out, looking around for any sign of his beautiful fiancee.

[xLillyliciousx]

The drive home was silent, usually Julia has the radio up high, and singing a long as if she was still a teenage girl. Right now though, the radio was off, she had a frown on her face, and deep in thought. Julia didn't need an explanation, she knew excatly why Jamie jerked away, and told her to leave. She pulled up to a red light, closing her eyes with a sigh. Julia had never ever wished Reece out of her life, she was happy with him, she loved him, and she was excited to marry him. Now though, Julia's emotions towards Reece was mixed.

Jamie. Her first kiss. Her first love. Julia's mother would always tease her, saying that Julia was to young to know what love truly was; but her mother knew deep in her heart that Julia was a very mature young lady, who was smarter than most people knew. Even though she was only fifteen, her mother thought Julia's maturity level could pass by being a 20-year-old. So when Julia would say that she loved Jamie, her mother knew that her only daughter did indead love him.

Julia took a sharp, shakey breath. She wished her mother was here. She would know what to do, Julia knew that her mother would have open welcome arms for Jamie, and continue to accept him as a son. Even though he caused her daughter all of her pain, she believed that Jamie had a good reason. Julia laughed lightly to herself, if only her mother could have heard Jamie's reason.

As Julia got closer to home, her blue eyes landed on Reece's car, she sighed softly. She forgot that he told her, he would get off early so they could have a long weekend together. Julia wanted nothing to do with a long weekend with Reece. She pulled up the driveway, shut off the car, checked her face in the mirror. No signs of crying. That was good.

Julia got out of the car and headed up to the front door. Once she was inside, she took her shoes off, and went into the kitchen. Signs of her baking was still there, the dishes in the sink, and a plate piled high of cookies. Though Julia picked up the brochures, flipped through them, before throwing them back on the counter, and glanced at the cupcakes.

Without saying anything, or telling Reece she was in the kitchen. Julia walked over to the sink, turned the water on, and started to wash the dishes.

[HopelessRomantic]

Reece had soon realised that Julia was nowhere in sight. She must have gone out. He should have realised that with the empty driveway. Her car would have been there. So, instead he got out of his suit, put it in the wash and went to grab a shower. Fifteen minutes later he was out of the shower, dried and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt instead. Everything was good. By the time he was back downstairs, he heard sounds in the kitchen and grinned when he saw Julia.

He immediately came up behind his fiancee and wrapped his arms around her, pecking his lips to her neck and cheek. "I got you some surprises. I missed you and thought it would cheer you up." He grinned. "Cupcakes, and brochures. Thought we could spend the afternoon looking at them. The cupcakes I got from this shop... They're to die for. Thought we could get our wedding cake done there." He smiled.

He pulled back and tried to get a look at Julia. "Hey, stop the dishes a moment and look at me. Are you okay? If you need to talk, I'm here. You know that." She probably wouldn't though. Reece had learned eraly on that she bottled things up. He even glanced down to her wrists to make sure they were still in one piece.

[xLillyliciousx]

Julia had cleaned up her baking mess, placed the plate of cookies on the island, and grabbed her cake stand that was in the cupboard. She placed it on the island, took the cupcakes out of their box, and on top of the stand. She went back to the dishes and started to wash them again.

Fifteen minutes later, Julia was almost done with her chores, she only had a couple of plates to wash. She went to her studio and cleaned up her paint, placed her new painting on stands, and went back to the kitchen. By that time, she could hear Reece walk down the stairs. Julia turned her back to the doorway and went back to washing dishes, since she wasn't in the mood to talk to Reece right now.

Her heart jumped up in her throat as she felt arms around her waist, and kisses being pressed against her neck and cheek. Of course she knew, it was Reece, but in her heart she wished it Jamie. She frowned as he started to talk about the wedding.

"I already have the wedding cake ordered." That would scatter Reece's idea for the cupcakes. That showed how little he knew about the wedding process. Of course, Julia knew he was busy with work and she didn't tell him much but she was in a pissy mood right now.

Julia glanced towards Reece when he told her to talk to him. She caught him looking at her wrists, she always catches him looking at them, as if he was afraid she would chop her hand off. It annoyed her sometimes. "Yeah, I know you're here to talk." She stated with a little sass, before she looked away, and went back to the dishes.

[HopelessRomantic]

Reece frowned and let Julia go completely when she mentioned that she'd already gotten the cake ordered. How much of the wedding had she actually done? She never talked to him about that either. How was he supposed to know what she'd planned and hadn't planned. "Sorry, I didn't know, Jules. Well, the cupcakes are still nice. They're my favourite. I thought of you when I saw them so brought them home to cheer you up."

And then he knew she was pissed at something from her retort to his words about him being here to talk. It wasn't often that they argued, but Reece wanted to get things sorted and cleared now rather than later. He'd probably end up on the couch for it, but if it sorted things out in the long run, in his mind it was worth it.

"That's the problem though, Jules. I'm here. I'm always here and you never talk to me. I don't want to force you to talk to me, but it would be nice to be let into some of the things upsetting you rather than sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs while trying to figure out what it could possibly be all the time. Because that's all I ever do when you get upset, because you obviously don't trust me enough to talk to me about these things."

He paused a second. "And you've told me nothing about the wedding either. I didn't actually know you'd done anything. You've been keeping that secret from me instead of sharing it. Have you got a date booked yet that I don't know about? I mean if you've booked a date and I don't even know about it how am I supposed to turn up to my own wedding to marry you?" He asked.

Reece sighed, running a hand through his hair and over his face. "Look Jules. I don't want to fight... I just want to know what's going on in your life instead of feeling shut out all the time. If I was upset or stressed or worried, you'd be the first person I went to. I just wish you'd trust me enough to do the same."

[xLillyliciousx]

Julia continued to clean the dishes, she listened to Reece talk to her about him being here to talk. Though her anger started to swell as he started to talk about trust. Julia used to that Reece was the perfect guy for her, but now that she was mad at him, and he continued to talk to her, her mind was picking out every little detail that indeed annoy her without even her realizing it.

Her hands were underneath the water, holding tightly onto a plate, her knuckles turning white. She was doing everything in her power to not throw the plate at Reece's face. Once he stopped speaking, she just stood there, her eyes glaring at the water. Julia wanted to scream at Reece, call him every name that she could think, but she couldn't even find her voice.

After a few minutes of silence, she turned her head towards Reece. "Maybe I would be able to tell you the wedding plans if you were actually here! You are always away with work! The only times you ever stay at home is when I'm sad. And what, Reece? Do you want me to spill my guts out to you? When you are never here? Just because you become a good fiance right at the moment that I really need you, doesn't mean you deserve me telling you what's wrong." She spat out.

Julia raised her hands in anger, still holding the plate, and slamming the plate back into the sink, so water went everywhere. She walked away, not caring about the mess, she just wanted to get away from Reece. Julia stopped at the doorway though, pointing a finger at him. "Don't give me the trust bullshit either! If you really did trust me, you would have fucking told me that you went to Jamie and threaten him!" She shouted at him. "Do you really think you are able to do that? Jamie has nothing to do you! So you had no right to do that!"

[HopelessRomantic]

The shit had really hit the fan now. Reece stood there in shock for a moment. He'd had no idea that that was how Julia felt. He just stared at her for a moment silently, trying to figure out how to reply. "I didn't know you felt that way because you never told me. All you had to do was tell me and I would have made sure my hours were cut down, or bring some of the stuff home with me to do here instead." Reece finally told her.

He felt well and truly lousy now. "I'm sorry that I'm obviously such a bad fiance." He glared at Julia. "You came running in here in tears last night. I knew that you'd been to Jamie's because Harry told me. I tried to come upstairs to comfort you but you wouldn't give me the time of day. What was I supposed to do? Just sit on the bed and listen to you cry. I went to see Jamie and told him to leave you alone because all he'd done is manage to make you cry."

Reece shook his head, grabbed a cookie and moved to the sitting room. "I'm not going to fight, Jules. I'm sorry that I cared enough about you to go and see Jamie and tell him not to upset you again. Harry's right. He's only going to break your heart again." He told her. "But I can't stop you doing what you want to do. I'll be here waiting for you though when he breaks your heart. Because that's what a bad fiance does. Waits for his fiancee to come home to him." With that, he moved to the couch and turned on the tv, upset and angry at himself for how things had turned out. And even angrier at himself because he had no idea that Julia had considered him a bad fiance up until now.

[xLillyliciousx]

"That would be lovely! Have you here, even though you would be to busy with work. It would be the exact same thing!" Julia yelled at him. She threw her hands up in the air with a heavy sigh. "Of course, Jamie would make me cry the first day that he come home! I hadn't seen him for seven years and he finally told me why he left. Of course, that would make me cry!" She stated in annoyance. "So there was no reason, to go there, and tell him he couldn't see me!"

Julia watched as Reece went to the sitting room, as she stood in the hallway. "Oh, that's great! Listen to my brother, that's a smart move!" She rolled her eyes. She was shaking with anger, her scars were on fire, and she could feel the tears in her eyes. Everything was going down the drown today, Jamie kissed her, than pushed her away, now she was having a fight with Reece.

Julia felt all of this was her fault. If she hadn't have went to Jamie's yesterday, than Jamie wouldn't be torn between either to kiss her or save her marriage with Reece. Plus, if she hadn't went, than Reece and her wouldn't be having this fight, and they would be having a good afternoon, planning the wedding together.

"I'm sorry!" Julia choked out in a scream. That was a bad sign. With tears flowing down her face, she spun around, and ran up the stairs. She ran straight to the bathroom, slammed the door, and locked it. All of her emotions were numb, her legs felt like jell-O, and her arms felt to heavy. Julia went to the bathtub, when she was fifteen, and cutting herself. Julia would always cut in the tub, she would soak her whole body in the water, and watch the blood mix with the water.

After Julia stopped cutting herself, she would never use the tub, since she never wanted to be reminded of those horrible memories. Julia turned the water on high, filling the tub. Another bad sign. She went to the bathroom cabinet, opened the glass mirror, and reached in until she grabbed the box of tampons.

From past experience, Julia knew that no one would look in her tampon box for a razor. Even though she had stopped cutting, she would always keep her razor there, it might be just a habit for her, or to remind her that she was above that now. At this moment though, Julia was glad she had it.

Once the tub was filled, Julia turned the water off, and without even taking her clothes off. She slid into the tub, until only her face was above the water. Julia wasn't thinking straight, to many emotions were swallowing her whole, she felt like she was fifteen again. This was the way that she knew how to cope. She raised her left arm up, until her wrist was showing, holding the razor in her right hand. Julia ran it down her old scars, until she got to her clean, unscarred skin underneath.

Without even a second thought, Julia started to cut a small line across the skin, with blurry vision, she watched as the blood ran down her arm.

[HopelessRomantic]

Reece heard Julia run up the stairs and frowned, placing the cookie down on the table and running up after her only to be faced with a locked door. "Julia!" He shouted, getting no answer. "Julia! Open the door. Come on out and we can just talk!" He heard the bath running and frowned. "Jules, please. I'm begging you. Please open this door so we can talk. I hate fighting with you. Please." Reece was at a loss. He had a horrible feeling about what she was doing in the bathroom. He wanted to trust her, but he was worried about how she'd screamed out the sorry.

"I won't bring work home." He was risking his job there, but if she felt that strongly about it, he'd change. He loved her. "Please open the door for me, Jules. We can sort this out. And I'm sorry about Jamie. When I went there though, he told me what he'd done to make you cry. That's why I warned him to stay away. That's all. If it had just been because you were happy to see him, I would have left it at that. He upset you. I just wanted to protect you."

He still got no answer. Reece desperately wanted to break the door in just to make sure she wasn't cutting herself, but what sort of trust would he have in her then. No, he'd trust that she wouldn't go there again. "I'm sorry, Jules." Reece sat down on the ground outside the bathroom. "Come out when you're ready. I'll be here to just sit and listen if you want to talk. If not, I'll understand and I won't push you, either."

He ran his hand over his face. "Please, just talk and let me know you're okay in there."

[xLillyliciousx]

Julia listened to every word Reece was speaking through the door. He wasn't the one she wanted to hear though, she wanted Jamie here. He knew how to make her feel better, he knew how to make her smile, he was the one that knew how to take the pain away. Julia couldn't have him though, he pushed her away, it seemed he didn't need her in his life like she did.

The blood swirled around in the water, she started on a second cut. Her mouth started to taste salty, her tears were covering her cheeks and lips. More blood started to drip down her skin, soon a third new cut was added. She switched hands, so now the razor was in her left hand, and she started the first fresh cut on her right arm, underneath her old scars.

Reece wanted to know if she was okay. Julia wasn't anywhere near being okay, she was an emotional wreck. Her body was numb and just like old times, her mind was screaming at her at how worthless she was. Two new cuts on the right wrist. Julia wanted to scream until she couldn't breath anymore, but she kept her mouth shut. Her whole body was shaking. She was snuffling because she couldn't stop crying.

Third cut. Julia had six new cuts, which would soon be six new scars. Her fingers dropped the razor, so it hit the floor, and some blood was spilled on the white tile. She closed her eyes, held her breath, and dunked her head underneath the water. Some water spilled over the side, which made a splash noise. Julia continued to stay underneath the water, until she couldn't breath anymore, she rose up, taking a deep, sharp breath.

Julia sat in the tub now, her knees up against her chest, and her arms underneath the water. She laid her head on her knees, and faced the door. She felt overwhelmed and tired. She looked down at her fresh cuts, a frown formed on her face, and she slowly started to feel disappointed in herself like she always did after cutting.

Not able to hold in all of this emotion anymore and not wanting to cut anymore because she knew she would cut to deep. Julia leaned her head back, stared at the ceiling before closing her eyes tightly, and started to scream at the top of her lungs.