Friends Forever

[TheBouquineuse]

Perhaps if she actually payed attention more often, Maria would have noticed more about the people around her, and bored with the conversation (she was very easily bored), she actually did. And upon paying attention, she noticed more then she would have liked too. It would be rude to notice that Ember was still sad and not to say anything, and though she was okay with being rude to everyone else, her friend was an exception. Ember actually mattered to her. The rest of them.. they could go away and she probably wouldn't care. She might even be happy. But if Ember ever stayed mad at her, or stopped liking her, she didn't know. She would probably cry... and she didn't do that much. After all, she was going to be a middle schooler in less then a year.
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“Now that I told you, you have to tell me why you're upset. It's common courtesy.” Maria smiled half-heartedly, stumbling on the last word. She'd taken a liking to English class over the last few months and was beginning to sound like an actual adult.

[MurderVictim]

"Oh, umm..." Ember shrugged, not looking at her. Her mind raced, trying to think of a way to explain what was going on. "My mom's in the hospital...Again. She's sick." She shrugged, again, voice a little strained as she tried to keep her tone level. Over the months, she had come to hate crying in public even more, especially around Maria. Besides, her mom was going to be okay, right? This had happened before. They'd keep her for a week or so, then send her home with strict instructions to keep it easy. She'd see her doctor like usual, and things would go back to normal. She was sure things would be that easy.
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"I guess things are a little weird at my house...With just my dad. He's not really taking things well."

[TheBouquineuse]

For the first time in a while, Maria actually felt lucky. Maybe she was having some trouble with her mom right now, and maybe she looked a bit odd at the moment.. However, she'd never had a family in the hospital except for her mom before Olivia had been brought home. She'd had a great life in regards to family. She didn't know her dad or anything, but she wasn't missing anything, and she'd never lost anyone. At first it had felt like loosing someone when Rodger had left for college, but he was a senior now and would be coming home soon.
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Maria moved closer to Ember until their shoulders were touching. She didn't really know how to say that she was sorry using words. Whenever she tried to be sympathetic, it always came out wrong. So physical contact was the only way she knew how to show that she was here and wouldn't be leaving... no matter what happened. “She'll be okay,” Maria attempted, “The hospital seems frightening, but it's just like a big doctor's office. I promise it'll be okay.” It was a vain promise; a completely naive one too, but she just wanted her best friend to feel better.

[MurderVictim]

Ember knew Maria had trouble with words, had trouble understanding others' emotions and how to deal with them. So, she felt glad when her friend promised her such a thing, even though it wasn't in her control. "Thanks," she said, genuinely smiling, which was something she hadn't done all day. A real way to tell she was down, considering Ember smiled at least a hundred times a day. She wasn't too sure how to really show how grateful she was, or at least not in a way that would upset Maria. Maybe...
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Without another word, Ember hugged her. It wasn't tight, but soft and a tad unsure. If Maria reacted negatively, she'd be able to pull away as quickly as needed.

[TheBouquineuse]

When Ember hugged her, Maria almost pushed the other girl away. Hugging was just... really girly. No one ever looked at two guys and saw them hugging; not unless they were... funny (her mom's word for gay, as she believed that 'adult' words should never be spoken around children). There were really only a few times when Maria liked to hug people, and this wasn't really one of them. However, pushing her best friend away would be really mean, and so she didn't. And... it wasn't too bad after the initial second or so. In fact, Maria kind of liked the fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach when Ember hugged her.
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Though she didn't pull away, Maria didn't hug Ember back either. And after a few moments, she hesitantly moved away from the hug. Now flustered (and quite a bit embarrassed), the taller girl smiled the slightest of smiles. “So,” she began in an attempt to change the subject. “What are you doing on Halloween? 'Cause I think we should probably go together. If you don't come with me, I have to go with my mom... and that would suck.” It didn't even occur to Maria that Ember had a life outside of them hanging out, she simply made an assumption and went with it.

[MurderVictim]

Ember moved away without a fuss, trying not to blush. Though Maria hadn't acted like she thought she would, she really should have put a little more thought into the action. Yet, she tried not to dwell on it, not noticing how flustered the other girl was. "Umm...I don't think I'll be doing anything, except trick or treat." That might actually be cancelled this year, judging by her mom's health. She was always the one who took her, her father never really wanting to do more than staying at home watching the sort of horror movies Ember couldn't see. It was a shame, really. But it was something she'd just have to accept. Besides, maybe she could tag along with Maria, if their parents were okay with it.

[TheBouquineuse]

The next four years of their friendship was relatively normal. Maria mellowed significantly, growing out of hurting people and into actually liking them. She developed friendships with girls that weren’t Ember, though she lost interest in the others rather quickly. They didn't get her at all. They would always try and make her 'more girly' or assumed that she was trying to look like a boy because she wanted them to like her. The former was partially true; she really did want to look like a boy. She was just... wrong. And somehow, she knew that if people knew how she felt, they would probably hate her, even Ember would hate her. She just didn't understand why God had made her a girl when she obviously didn't know how to be one. Plus she just... she just didn't like it. It just felt wrong. It was no fair and over the next year of so, she developed a deep hatred for anything 'godly,' much to the utter horror of her mother. She never did grow her hair out, choosing to keep it at mid-neck, a look that was kind-of-fine with her mother and even finer with her. Her brother moved in during that time, and as a result, Maria changed more then anyone could possibly imagine. She actually became more feminine. Perhaps the most prominent change was how much she stopped talking. She wasn't silent or anything, just a lot quieter. It gave her more time to think.
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And boy did she think. Nearly four years after the two friends had gone trick of treating together, they entered 6th grade. It was around that time that Maria first started thinking about what would happen if she were to die. She'd never thought about what happened after life before, but now it would come up every once and a while, and she would think about it all day. Would her mom be upset? Would her brother, Ember, her sister? Would she go to heaven? Probably not on that last one. She really didn't even think heaven was real. Maybe people were just reborn. That was the idea that stuck. And she became convinced that she'd been a boy in her past life. And maybe... she would be one in her next...
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Perhaps that was how she ended up behind the school, contemplating weather or not she would get away with a trip to the roof. The ladder was right here... and she wasn't really interested in coming down. She only contemplated for a few moments before she found herself 70 feet up on the rooftop of the school. Of course, she wasn't going to jump! She thought about it for a spit second, but quickly decided she would never do that. Ever. It was just kind of nice up here. She didn't have to focus on anything at all, except for the fact that she existed.

[MurderVictim]

Over the years, Ember had...well, not changed much. Around Maria, she was happy and open, willing to be herself. Yet, around others, she was more withdrawn than she was as a small child. And middle school didn't help. People around her were changing, slowly growing into themselves, even Maria. Boy, was Ember surprised when her friend gained a more dominant feminine side. She had always accepted her for who she was, never giving her style of clothes or attitude a second thought. Ember, herself, wasn't very girly. She'd play with a doll here and there, wear the occasional dress, yet that was as far as things went. Which was surprising to her mother. Born into an average, middle-class family, her parents didn't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe for their daughter, and instead relied on her older brother's old clothes. This resulted in the girl being dressed in various boy's clothes, with only a few articles being ones for female children. Perhaps that was why that jacket she had recieved four years ago was so precious to her...It was the first brand new jacket she owned, not already worn by the boy she dared not think about. So, wearing boy's clothes wasn't all that new to Ember, and Maria was no exception to her view.
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When Maria became so quiet, Ember accepted that, too. She could see her friend was going through a lot, yet couldn't figure out what exactly was going on. Nonetheless, she didn't push, but merely silently offered support whenever it was needed. Somedays, she wished Maria would fill her in, let her help if she could. But...It really was none of Ember's business. And she did her best to leave it like that.
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That day, Ember found herself searching for the other girl. She hadn't seen her much that morning, and she was getting a little worried. Making her way out of the back entrance, she was a little annoyed at herself for going out that way. Why would be Maria be out there? Oh, well...It was worth a check. Stepping out onto the half-dead, poorly cared for grass, she gazed around, not seeing anyone. It was then that she got the inkling to turn around and look up. And when she did, she jumped in surprise. "Maria?! What are you doing up there?"

[TheBouquineuse]

10 things about Maria that only Ember knows
She whistles when she's sad
She knows everything about every single presidents
The sight of blood makes her feel sick
She hates Mexican food with a passion due to it being the only thing she gets at home
When she was 4, she had a pet hamster... who she sat on and killed
She really had hated that hamster
She doesn't know how to snap
She's actually a bit afraid of middle school
To be honest, she's afraid of anything new
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Maria stayed on the roof nearly all day. She didn't even think about coming down. She simply thought. She thought about her brother and her mom and Ember and school. And her dad whom she had never met and never wanted to. However she couldn’t help but think that maybe she would have turned out different if she’d grown up with someone to call her father. Maybe she would like boys like everyone else did, maybe she would like being a girl, and maybe she wouldn't have to imagine being this unhappy for the rest of her life. After an hour of two she got tired of thinking, and not just in a metaphorical sense. She was actually physically tired of thinking. So she practiced not thinking. She did this often, imagining that she could fall asleep for a few years and never dream about anything at all. She hated dreaming. The good dreams were worse then the bad ones. After the immediate feeling of simply being awake she would be worse then ever . It wasn’t really sadness though. It was simply... wrongness.
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After a few hours it got easier, the not thinking. If she’d been considering the notion, she may have gotten up on that ledge and jumped. It would be worth it if death was this peaceful. For a few moments, she was completely content with the idea of not existing. However, one can only not think for a short amount of time, especially when one is unhappy. Eventually thinking becomes a need that even the most adamant can’t resist. Thoughts flooded back into her mind and she found herself in the state that she associated with waking up. She closed her eyes tightly and stood up, walking towards the ledge. She really only wanted to sit down on the ledge and dangle her legs over. This was so much different and so much worse then waking up. She didn’t long to be back in her dreams; the ones where she was tall and handsome and sometimes kissed pretty girls who may or may not have been Dani from history. She longed to be back in the state of not thinking. That’s when she made her decision. How she would die. Someday, not now but when she was much older, she would jump off of the tallest building in the world. Then… maybe while she was falling, she could pretend to be flying.
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That's how Ember found her; sitting on the ledge of the roof, whistling an old Beetles song that she'd heard on the school bus. “Oh, nothing” she answered, too quiet for the other girl to hear. She realized this and raised her voice to answer again, “I'm just... I don't know.”

[MurderVictim]

Hearing her whistling, Ember grew even more concerned. She knew Maria fairly well...Knew a lot about her, things that not many people knew. She knew what it meant when she whistled, and her answer to her question only made that more obvious. "Don't know what?" she called up, tilting her head. She desperately wanted her friend to talk to her, and that shone in her eyes. "Please tell me," she added, tempted to join her up on the roof. Yet, that was impossible. Ember was terrified of heights. She always got the sinking fear of falling to her doom, even if she was a mere two or so feet from the ground. From the roof? Falling from there could mean death.
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Wait...Was that why Maria was up there? Ember didn't know much about suicide, and didn't care to know much. The idea of someone killing themselves was disturbing to her, and caused great upsetment. How could someone do that? Especially when it could bring great pain to friends and family. Maria wouldn't do something like that, would she? She knew better...Right? There was a sudden feeling of uneasiness hanging around her, her eyes still staring up at her friend.