RvB The New Freelancers OOC

[WolfGirl69]

Freelancers CS:

Form:
State name:
Abbreviation:
Real name:
rank:
A.I:
Armor:

AI CS:

Name: (ALPHA, BETA, GAMMA, and so on)
Person who you help:
Looks:
Personallity:

"Counselor, bring in the New Freelancers...it's time for a new mission..." The Director says
"As you wish sir..." The Counselor replies...

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Name: ALPHA
Person who you help: OPEN
Looks: is a small blue female spartan with gold visor and is one of the few who has a face under the helmet...
Personallity: shy, confused easily, scared easily, needs compassion, can be vicious, and can also be very caring
Other: the other AIs aren't aloud to even see her...let alone know who has her...

[darkfox1]

For freelancers what is the ranks you can use for the A.I. setting?

Edit: Just kidding I miss understood what you meant.

[DasPuma]

State name: Alabama
Abbreviation: 'Bama
Real name: Keryn Orwell
rank: 8
A.I: Delta
Armor: Mark VI

[WolfGirl69]

For freelancers write your AI's name

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Accepted...looks like a puma

[darkfox1]

State name: California
Abbreviation: Cali
Real name: Dante Saunders
rank: 9
A.I: Beta
Armor: Mark IV

[WolfGirl69]

http://rvb.wikia.com/wiki/Project_Freelancer for the newer people to RVB FREELANCERS

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Accepted

- - - Updated - - -

Anyone seen RVB tex fight?

[DasPuma]

http://rvb.wikia.com/wiki/Project_Freelancer for the newer people to RVB FREELANCERS

- - - Updated - - -

Accepted

- - - Updated - - -

Anyone seen RVB tex fight?

Tex is a bawss

[WolfGirl69]

TEX VS CHUCK NORRIS

[darkfox1]

I love Tex she is awwweeessssoooommmmeeee! lol The Miz reference.

[WolfGirl69]

Tomahawk to the neck and she lived!

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"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Best Laid Plans (#3.1)" (2004)
Sarge: Why don't we try to find O'Malley?
Caboose: I know where you can find O'Malley. He lived inside my helmet for a while. Maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roommates.
Sarge: Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean.

Sarge: [Caboose is standing on Sarge's shoulders, looking into the Blue Team's base] What do you see?
Caboose: I see... A room.
Sarge: And? What's in the room?
Caboose: There are some walls... And some ceilings. Wait! Just one ceiling.
Sarge: What's makin' all that racket?
Blue Team: Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds!
Caboose: You are not going to like it.

Caboose: My toes... are getting pruney.

Caboose: I know where you can find O'Malley. He lived inside my helmet for a while, maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roomates.
Sarge: Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean.

Caboose: Sergeant! Look! A sleeping person!
Sarge: What? Holy Macaroon.
[Checks out the dead person]
Sarge: He's not sleeping, son, he's dead.
Caboose: Oh good. At first, I thought that was me because I am blue and I like to sleep. But if he is dead, that cannot be me. That would be silly.

Caboose: Look! More sleeping people! It must be naptime! But who has naptime now? Nap time comes before pants time, not after. I think these people are just making up times.

Sarge: Get over here! Give me a boost!
Caboose: Okay...
[walks up close to Sarge]
Caboose: You... are a good person. And people say... nice things about you.
Sarge: Not a morale boost, moron, a physical one. I need to see what's in that window.
Caboose: That window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough.
Sarge: I know. I need you to help me look through it.
Caboose: I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is *round*, that window is *square*.

Sarge: What do you see?
Caboose: I see, a room.
Sarge: And? What's in the room?
Caboose: There are some walls, and some ceilings. Wait, only one ceiling.

Sarge: Hello? Is anyone okay? Are there any survivors... preferably any red survivors? Don't let that discourage you from speaking up if you're blue. I won't step on your neck or anything like that.
Caboose: Am I allowed to answer?

Caboose: I just... need to... get angry... and say... mean things... like... uh, your... brain... is... a... mountain... of... hatred.
Sarge: I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually missed Grif, but here it is.

Caboose: Sarge... I am scared of our new friends.

Sarge: [Trumpet playing is heard in the distance] Shh, quiet. Do you hear that?
Caboose: Yes, that noise is called water. It is very wet, and very sloshy...
Sarge: I was talkin' about the trumpet, bluetard!

Red vs. Blue: Reconstruction (2008) (V)
Agent Washington: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Not my fault. Someone built a wall in my way.

Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Uh. She got in the way while I was trying to help her.

Agent Washington: Don't let her get away!
Pvt. Leonard L. Church: Hey Caboose, she's on our team and you should help her.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Ok.
[accidentally shoots her]
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Uh. She got in the way while I was trying to help her.
Pvt. Leonard L. Church: We're good.

Agent Washington: They said we could use this base if we want.
Pvt. Leonard L. Church: [Sarcastically] Wow. An empty concrete base? Is it our birth-day?
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: I want cake.

Lieutenant Miller: Now Caboose, I know we didn't always get along.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: I got tied up.
Lieutenant Miller: You seem like a good kid, you're just a little... confused.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Yeah, he is.
Lieutenant Miller: But I wanna give you a piece of advice. This guy looks like a tough costumer, and you're bound to run into some situations you're not prepared for.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Right, like a rodeo.
Lieutenant Miller: And if that happens, if you get in a situation where you think something bad is gonna happen, I want you to remember one thing... never ever come back here!
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Okay.
Lieutenant Miller: No, I need to hear you say it I need to know you understand.
Pvt. Michael J. Caboose: Don't ever go backwards.
Lieutenant Miller: Well I guess that's as close as we're gonna get.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Visiting Old Friends (#3.2)" (2004)
[after Sarge and Caboose's last attempt to get the Battle Creek Red and Blue grunts to listen to them has failed]
Caboose: Wait. I can make them listen. I... can... *beat* them.
Sarge: Son, what are you talkin' about?
Caboose: O'Malley taught me how to be mean.
[struggles to concentrate]
Caboose: I... just... have... to... concentrate... on, bad... things! Like *milk*... no wait, red... *Red Bull*!
Sarge: Son, I think you've really lost it. O'Malley's not in your head any more, he infected the Doc!
Caboose: No, I can feel him. I just need to... get angry, and *say mean things*, like... uh... *Your brain is a mountain of hatred!*
Sarge: I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually missed Grif... but here it is.
Caboose: [now speaking in a very stilted, halting cadence, straining even more] Now, I am... thinking... about... kittens! Guh, *kit-tens*... covered... in... spikes. That makes... me... *angry!*
[begins to convulse and yell]
Caboose: [Caboose completely loses all self-control and then jumps off the cliff. An overly dramatic upshot of Caboose jumping down from the cliff, in slow motion. Caboose is yelling in a slowed-down, guttural yell, then lands on his feet, shaking the ground. The Reds and Blue grunts stop fighting and stare incredulously at Caboose]
Caboose: [in a deep gruff evil voice] My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I... hate... *babies*!

[fueled by anger, after single-handedly defeating every Battle Creek Red and Blue grunt]
[shouts]
Caboose: I will eat your unhappiness!

Caboose: [after the angered Caboose's rampage on the Battle Creek Reds and Blue grunts, with Sarge and Caboose ready to hop through a teleporter] Your toast has been burned, and *no* amount of scraping will remove the black parts!
Sarge: Oh, shut up, Caboose.

Caboose: I have a plan, Sergeant, but we will have to move quick. Listen: whisper, whisper, whisper. Do you think that will work?
Sarge: That's your plan? All you said was, "Whisper, whisper, whisper."
Caboose: I know. I just wanted to be the one with the plan for once.

Caboose: [acting evil] Your toast has been BURNT, and no amount of scraping will get rid of the black stuff!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Under the Weather (#4.16)" (2006)
Church: Is this why you guys came home so fast?
Caboose: No, we came home because the alien died, and because the uh, glowing sword turned out to be a, uh glowing key.
Church: Yeah, a glowing key that could still STAB people.
Caboose: Right.
Church: So it is a sword. It just happens to function like a key in very specific situations.
Caboose: Or it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death.
Church: Goddamn, man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes.
Caboose: Yeah. I have a really good time!
Church: [laughing] Yeah, it seems like it. You know, I don't think I'd get anything done, but I probably wouldn't care that much.

Church: You don't suppose that sword is making him sick do you?
Caboose: I don't see how, it hasn't sneezed once.
Church: We don't know anything about it though. Maybe it runs on radiation and is poisoning him.
Caboose: Or maybe it runs on solar power!
Church: How would solar power make him sick?
Caboose: Is he Republican?

Church: I'm just worried, man. Who knows if this stuff is contagious? For all we know, Caboose could be next. Wake up tomorrow morning, he's throwing up, running a huge fever, next thing you know, he's bleeding out of his eyes cause his internal organs are liquidizing. And I'm gonna have to be the one that holds his hand as he screams himself to death. That's not gonna be any fun.
Caboose: I'm gonna go take a vitamin.
Church: Oh, don't bother, it's too late for you anyway.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Human Peer Bonding (#1.13)" (2003)
Caboose: I should've known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me.
Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
Caboose: I like me.

Church: So how are you doing Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so. That guy Tex is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Church: ...Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.

Caboose: [revelling] AI... What's the "A" stand for?
Church: Artificial.
Caboose: Ah. What's the...
Church: [interrupting] Intelligence.
[short pause]
Caboose: What's the "A" again?

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Motion to Adjourn (#2.2)" (2004)
Frank DuFresne: Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt
Church: Huh... I see
[Church point his gun at Caboose and then fires]
Caboose: Owwwww! My Foot!
Church: Well, It looks like Caboose has hurt himself... Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc.
Frank DuFresne: You know, you could have just asked nicely.

Caboose: I can't believe Church shot me!
Church: [from the other side of the Blue's base] Oh, don't even START, Caboose!

Frank DuFresne: You have a bullet wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?
Caboose: Uh... Oh! I got one. Uh, well, sometimes, when I fall asleep at night, I think about my parents having sex, and I get really, really mad for some reason.
[long, awkward pause]
Frank DuFresne: Okay; I'm just gonna start with the foot.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Roomier Than It Looks (#1.14)" (2003)
Caboose: I'm having a lot of fun. It's like we're real soldiers.

Tucker: What're you doing?
Caboose: One of the reds has Tex. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing *him*, and we will be friends!
Tucker: Oh, come on, you don't actually believe any of that, do you?
[Caboose trains sniper rifle on Church-possessed Sarge's head]
Caboose: Ohhh, we're gonna be *best* *friends*.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Radar Love (#2.10)" (2004)
Caboose: [to Sheila, who is talking to Lopez] Ummmm, yes. Well, Lopez has to go now. He was just here to help me fix you, and now he has to go AWAY.
Tucker: Dude, this is getting weird. Church, will you take your fuckin' body back?
Church: Roger that.
[Runs towards Lopez]
Lopez: No! Heauegerkerherk!
[Twitches wildly as he is repossessed]
Tucker: [after a few seconds] You okay in there, Church? Church? Hey, what's going on?
[pauses]
Tucker: Do I need to flip your switch?
Church: [Reappears] What the-? That wasn't me! What the hell is going on here?
Tex: [while in possession of Lopez's body] Well. Buenos diaz, cockbites. Guess who's back?

Caboose: [waiting for Lopez to fix the tank] Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Fix the tank! So that I say hello to Sheila!
[through Caboose]
O'Malley: And start killing everyone!
Tucker: You mean all the Reds, right?
Caboose: Of course!
[through Caboose]
O'Malley: For starters!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Lost in Triangulation (#4.5)" (2005)
Tucker: Ooo-kay. Church... is trying to get a TRANSLATOR. So that WE can TALK to EACH OTHER.
Church: Tucker, the enormous alien doesn't speak our language. Speaking slowly is not gonna help.
Tucker: What? I'm talking to Caboose.
Church: Oh.
Caboose: [camera pans to reveal Caboose] I don't understand. Are-are-are you hungry? Tucker, are you hungry? Are you cold?
Tucker: What? No.
Caboose: Do you need a blanket? Tucker, do you want some hot dogs and a blanket?
Tucker: Damn it, no, Caboose, I'm NOT cold, I don't want a hot dog, and if you put mustard in my fucking sheets again, I'm gonna kill you.

Caboose: Okay, gargantuan alien, now that we have decided to keep you, you need a real name. I vote for Fluffy.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Dealer Incentive (#2.18)" (2004)
Tucker: Hello inferior Red squad!
Church: We would like to talk to you about...
Caboose: [Interrupting] Sneak attack!
Church: Shut up you idiot! We're not here to fight! We're here to negotiate!
Caboose: Yay! Sneak negotiation!

[Caboose is "interrogating" Donut]
Caboose: This is fun! Okay, okay, your turn! Truth or dare?
Donut: Hmm... truth!
Caboose: Ok... tell me... all of the Red's secret plans!
Donut: Aww! You tricked me! You Blue guys are so smart. Ok, now listen closely. Our biggest secret is...
[Church's Ghost runs in and takes control of Donut's body]
Church: Caboose! It's me, Church! I possessed this guy so we can... hey. This pink armor is kinda comfortable. Roomy. What were you guys talking about?
[sadly]
Caboose: Oh... nothing.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Looking for Group (#4.8)" (2005)
Tucker: [Talking about who will go on the 'Quest for the Sword'. Church and Tex admit that they aren't going] What? Then who?
[Looks at Caboose]
Tucker: No fuckin' way. I'm not going with him!
Caboose: Oh, oh, oh. I hope we meet a cleric along the way! None of us know how to heal.
The Alien: Blaar Honk.
Andy The Bomb: [Translating] He says he's a healer.
Caboose: Oh, good!
Andy The Bomb: Heh heh. Not really. They eat their wounded.
[Andy continues to snigger]
Caboose: Just like chiropractors...
Tucker: This is a JOKE, right? You're sending Caboose? What's wrong with you?
Church: What's wrong with me? I saw a chance to get rid of Caboose and I took it. There's nothing wrong with me!
Caboose: [Completely not paying attention to what the others are saying] Okay, so... um... Tucker's the fighter... ah... Crunchbite is the healer... And I am the powerful, and intelligent, wizard: Morphumax.
Andy The Bomb: What the hell does that make me?
Caboose: You're the good looking and stealthy archer.
Andy The Bomb: A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron!
Caboose: That is what makes you so stealthy.

Church: You have GOT to be kidding me. There is no way I'm gonna let this happen
Tex: I told you, he can do it.
Andy The Bomb: Yeah, I'm qualified.
Church: Listen, I don't DOUBT that he can do it; I doubt that I WANT him to do it.
Andy The Bomb: Why?
Church: Well, you know what, Andy? You're not the most diplomatic of individuals.
Andy The Bomb: That's bullshit! You're only saying that cause you're a racist.
Church: Raci - ? BOMBS are not a race!
Andy The Bomb: Ah, shut up, ya dirty shisno.
Church: We finally make contact with an alien being, and our first attempt at communication is gonna be through a BOMB? Am I the only person who has a problem with this?
Andy The Bomb: Well unless you got your "English to Blarg-Blarg" dictionary, I don't think you got a choice, now do ya?
Caboose: I had one of those. But I threw it out. It didn't have many pictures.
Tex: I'm sure it'll be fine.
Church: You know, I feel like I'm gonna regret this, but I feel even more that I just don't care, and that watching this whole thing unravel might be kind of interesting. Go for it.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Make Your Time (#3.5)" (2004)
Simmons: Hello, weary traveler, we represent The Timeline.
Sarge: I am The Past, where things cost less, and people knew the value of a hard day's work. But they only lived to be 28 years old.
Simmons: And I am The Future, where people have no morals and no emotions, but we have a bunch of kick-ass gadgets.
Grif: And I'm The Present, which sucks. We have nothing cool, and also no morals.
Donut: And I am The Helpful Narrator. A faceless voice used by poor writers.
Tucker: You have a face... I think...
Donut: Shut up, Audience! You're ruining my play! Everything was fine with The Timeline, until one day, in The Present.
Grif: Why does bad stuff always happen in The Present?
Donut: Because that's when people do stuff!
Sarge: Ah, quit yer bitchin'. I've got atrocities and a crapload of wars that seemed very important at the time, but now seem trivial and stupid.
Simmons: Yeah, well I've got Apocalypse. And that's way worse than anything you two dipshits have... Sorry, sir, that "dipshits" was in character.
Sarge: Oh. Well, bravo, Simmons.
Donut: One day, in The Present, a terrible thing happened.
Caboose: Enters stage left.
Caboose: [enters stage left] Hello, I am Stupid Private Tucker. I am going to set off a big bomb now, and totally mess things up for everyone! Because I am stupid!
Caboose: Turns around.
Caboose: [turns around] Hello, Present, I am going to set off a bomb in you.
Grif: Don't do that, Stupid Private Tucker, that might kill me!
Caboose: Thinks about this... for a moment.
Donut: [as Caboose thinks about this for a moment] Caboose, stop reading your stage directions!
Caboose: You said I was supposed to read anything with my name in front of it!
Donut: Just the lines, not the blockings. You're ruining my big debut!
Caboose: I do not think we are meshing artistically. I think you should talk to my agent.
Grif: This is stupid, I quit.
Donut: You *can't* quit! End scene. This has been a Franklin Donut joint.

Caboose: But I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive. Or a cowboy.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Heavy Metal (#3.10)" (2005)
Sarge: OK, listen up, scumbags. If we're gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. Now, I have two options we can use. Number one, we run at the base in a single fine line, screaming at the top of our lungs! The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we'll already be inside.
Tucker: Oh, yeah, right. They're not going to get surprised, they're just going to start mowing us down.
Sarge: That is the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front. So if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through.
Simmons: Don't you think that Caboose should be in the back, since he's the one carrying the bomb?
Sarge: No, Caboose is in front of me. We need someone in back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working.
Tucker: How are you going to know if the plan isn't working?
Sarge: If Caboose dies, I'll know we're in trouble, and immediately abort.
Caboose: I think that's a good plan.
Grif: Sarge, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line.
Sarge: Don't get misty, Francine. We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill! I think we can all agree, given our current situation, it's the perfect plan.
[silence]
Sarge: OK, well let me tell you about my other plan. Using parts from the warthog...
Grif: [to Tex] I'm hoping you've got a better idea.
Sarge: ...We'll make what I like to call, "The Grif Cannon."
Grif: Oh, man...
Sarge: Utilizing the power of the Grif Cannon, we make a Grif-sized hole in the outer wall!... or we paint it a very disgusting color.

Caboose: [is looking for the mark to set the bomb on and comes across the X, which he views at an awkward angle] That, is a plus sign... not an X.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Familiar Surroundings (#4.1)" (2005)
Church: I was sittin' there talkin' to Gary, and...
Tex: The bomb?
Church: No that's Andy, Gary is the computer.
Tex: Neh, I don't even remember most of your names half the time.
Caboose: I know my name! You can ask me, if you forget.
Church: Hey, can we please focus on me?
Caboose: By the way, he's Church.
Church: Yes, thank you Caboose, she knows.
Caboose: He is the mean one.
Church: Thank you, Caboose.
Caboose: See, he is mad. Now he'll just stare at me until I stop talking, then, when he thinks I am done talking, then he will start talking again.
Church: ...okay. I was talking to Gary and...
Caboose: Told you so!
Church: Goddammit!
Caboose: Classic Church.
Tucker: I wonder if a ghost can have an aneurysm.

Tex: Just tell us! What did you see?
Church: Umm, it was a really big... Thing...
Tex: That's your story? You saw a big thing?
Tucker: Ahh, my story had a big thing too. You just didn't give it time to develop.
Church: Well, I didn't really get a good look at it.
Caboose: At Tucker's big thing?
Church: No, you dumbass! At the big thing in the base that attacked me!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Getting All Misty (#4.11)" (2005)
Andy The Bomb: [Crunch-Bite the alien attacks an intruder] Caboose, you were supposed to help!
Caboose: I was helping watch.
Andy The Bomb: What if something had happened?
Caboose: I'm sure I would have seen it.

Tex: Tell you what, I'll go 50/50. You keep the emancipation, and I'll keep the sword.
Andy The Bomb: Deal.
Tucker: What do I get?
Tex: You get to live... but no guarantees.
Tucker: That's not a reward for me, that's a reward for all the fine ladies in the universe.
Tex: I'm a woman, and somehow, I don't feel any luckier.
Tucker: I said fine ladies.
Andy The Bomb: What do you want Caboose?
Caboose: I want a pony.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: K.I.T. B.F.F. (#2.19)" (2004)
Grif: [the Red and Blue teams call a truce] So now we're forced to work together? How ironic.
Simmons: No, that's not ironic! Ironic would be if we had to work together to hurt each other!
Donut: No, ironic would be, if instead of that guy kidnapping Lopez, Lopez kidnapped him.
Sarge: I think it would be ironic if our guns didn't shoot bullets, but instead squirted a healing salve that cured all wounds.
Caboose: I think it would be ironic if everyone was made of iron.

Caboose: Uhh, Church? How come Tucker gets to nap during battles and I don't?

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Talk of the Town (#4.12)" (2005)
Tex: The snow is the least of our problems.
Andy The Bomb: Why?
Tex: I assume we have to get into that temple base thing?
Andy The Bomb: Yeah...
Tex: Well, it's got about two dozen guards on its walls.
Caboose: Oh no.
Tex: Yep. Doesn't look good.
Caboose: No. No. No. I mean I lost one of my mittens. We have to go back.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Nobody Likes You (#2.7)" (2004)
Caboose: I knew it... we're all gonna die...
[aims gun at the back of Tucker's head]
O'Malley: ...starting with you!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Roaming Charges (#3.11)" (2005)
Caboose: Would you stop saying bad things that come true! Or... say them ten seconds earlier!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Let's Get Together (#3.3)" (2004)
Voice on radio: Man, I hate this. This sucks.
Caboose: It's Church!
Voice on radio: I just wanna lay around and do nothing.
Sarge: I think it's Grif!
Voice on radio: Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble-bath.
Sarge, Simmons: Donut.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: In Stereo Where Available (#2.9)" (2004)
Caboose: And Sheila will love me again. And this time, for who I am. And not just for my stunning good looks... but for those too.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Silver Linings (#3.12)" (2005)
Church: Hey Tucker, look at this, man: it's the rookie! And he brought the tank out to scare off the Reds. Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?
Sheila: New target acquired.
Caboose: That's not a target. That's Church.
Sheila: Target locked.
Caboose: What?
Church: What? Oh, son of a bi...
[Sheila fires on Church]
Church #2: Oh NO! *I'm* the team-killing fucktard!
Tucker: [to Caboose:] You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Last One Out, Hit the Lights (#1.19)" (2008)
Caboose: [Talking in radio] Come in, private Church, do you copy? Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle... situation... rectified. OK... we require... verification... of yourrrr... mission... ness. Ahem. How is your progression?
Church: ¡Caboose! ¡Nadie aquí está escuchando mí! ¡No mas puedo hablar español!
Caboose: [to Tucker] ... He says he wants to talk to you.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Exploring Our Differences (#4.9)" (2005)
The Alien: Wort...
Andy The Bomb: He doesn't wear any pants.
Tucker: Yeah, we noticed. If we meet anybody on this adventure, that might need to change.
Andy The Bomb: Why? We're used to being naked! Free-ballin'! Come on... Commando!
Tucker: Let me just put it this way; I felt less threatened when Tex was staring at just the sword
Tex: Huh... Wha... Oh excu... erm... Yeah, I-I was just admiring his-his alien... muscle structure...
Tucker: Yeah, one particular part of his muscle structure...
Tex: Well that's just a matter of penis- I mean, uh... opinion! That's... that's it...
Church: Smooth...
Caboose: You told me it was another arm...
The Alien: GRRRRRR!
Andy The Bomb: Hey Caboose... High Five!
Caboose: I don't want to do that any more...

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Two for One (#4.19)" (2006)
Sarge: Hey Caboose! You hear something behind you!
Caboose: I do? I wonder what's causing it.
Sarge: Double yoink!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Hunting Time (#4.2)" (2005)
Tucker: We haven't seen that alien thing come out so it's probably still hiding in there.
Caboose: Or, eating Church
Tex: All right, let's roll.
Church: Okay, here we go.
Tucker: ...Uhh we're not moving.
Church: Yea, yea, okay... here we go.
Tucker: We're still not moving.
Caboose: Does talking count as moving?
Tex: All right, screw it. You guys get behind me and stay tight...
Tucker: Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
Tex: Never mind, Tucker's in front.
Tucker: Eh, it was worth it.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Let's Come to Order (#3.15)" (2005)
Church: I didn't want to mess with the timeline.
Caboose: Time... line?
[sighs]
Caboose: Time isn't made of lines! It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Knock, Knock. Who's There? Pain. (#1.11)" (2003)
[Tucker is talking to Tex, who is firing at something offscreen]
Tucker: That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep.
Tex: And your flag.
Tucker: Right, that too... Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here.
[the camera pans to reveal Caboose pressed against a wall, surrounded by bullet holes]
Caboose: I'm scared.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: It's a Biological Fact (#3.9)" (2005)
Tex: [the Reds and Blues have just rendezvoused with Tex at Zansibar] What took you guys so long to get here?
Simmons: There's six of us, and this is only a three-seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap.
Donut: [enthusiastically] It was a great road trip! My favorite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally...
Grif: [disgusted sigh] Ugh, *please*, let's not tell this story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?
Sarge: What'd you find, Tex?
Tex: Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days, now. And he's got some help. One of those religious nuts you guys picked up.
Caboose: [excited] Oh, I liked them. They were funny.
Tucker: Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a *flag*.
Caboose: I try not to remember the bad things about people.
Tucker: That's *all* they tried to do! There *were* no good things!
Caboose: That's okay. I have a really bad memory - wow, look, a beach!
Sarge: Shut up, Caboose.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Fair Competition (#4.4)" (2005)
Andy The Bomb: Yea, he thinks you guys stink too much to eat!
Tex: He thinks we stink? It smells like someone set a fish on fire in here.
The Alien: Blar?
Church: Caboose, what the fuck man are you sure about this thing?
Caboose: Absolutely, he has not tried to bite me, at all...
The Alien: Blar...
Caboose: ...since he bit me the first time.
Andy The Bomb: Heh heh, yea, that was hilarious.
Caboose: We think I might need a tetanus shot.
The Alien: Blar, blar blar, blarg.
Church: Whoa, that thing's breath smells like infected cheese on a hotplate.
[hacking cough]
The Alien: BLAR BLARGH!
Andy The Bomb: I don't think he liked that.
Tucker: Whoa man! What is that stench? Is a skunk juggling dead hamsters in here? It smells like old yogurt.
The Alien: Blargh blar, blar blar.
Tucker: Did you eat and then throw up a can of trash?
The Alien: Honk!
Caboose: That's exactly what he said, right before he bit me.
The Alien: Blar blar, honk, blarg blar.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Have We Met? (#3.14)" (2005)
Church: Man, it is really great to see you guys.
Tucker: You seem like you're in a good mood.
Church: I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker. No matter how bad things might seem...
Caboose: They could be worse.
Church: Nope. No matter how bad they seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitching.
Caboose: Where have you been?
Church: You want the long version or the short version?
Caboose: I will take the easy version please.
Tucker: Oh, I wanna hear the long version. But, can you tell me in three parts?

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Defusing the Situation (#3.17)" (2005)
Caboose: [Trying to calm Andy down, to stop him from exploding] Come on Andy, think of a happy place. What makes you feel happy?
Andy The Bomb: ...being in the middle of big explosion!
Church: Less happy place, less happy!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Everything Old Is New Again (#2.1)" (2004)
Church: [Frank has arrived too late to save Tex's life] First of all, great job on the Tex, man. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need you to assist is to help us kill all the Reds.
Frank DuFresne: Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.
Tucker: Consci... who?
Frank DuFresne: I'm a pacifist.
Caboose: ...You're a thing that babies suck on?
Tucker: No, dude, that's a pedophile.
Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.
Tucker: Oh, yeah. Right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else.
Church: That's real classy, Tucker.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: The Rookies (#1.3)" (2003)
Caboose: So I say to the guy, How're you going to get the tank down to the planet? And he goes, I'll just put it on the ship. And I go, if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Red vs Bleu (#2.3)" (2004)
Caboose: [Church has deliberately shot Caboose in the foot] Rest in peace, pinky toe...
O'Malley: YOU SHALL BE AVENGED.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: You Keep Using That Word (#4.14)" (2006)
Wyoming: Tex!
Tex: Wyoming?
Caboose: Connecticut!
Tucker: They're not playing a game, Caboose.
Caboose: Yeah, but if they were... I totally would've won.

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: After Church (#1.9)" (2003)
Sheila: [has just been blown up, and is dying] I'm scared, Dave, will I dream?
[singing]
Sheila: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...
Caboose: Sheila! NOOOO!
Tucker: Oh, God! Sheila! Wait, who's Sheila?
Caboose: Sheila was the lady in the tank. She was my friend.
Tucker: Dude, I knew you could pick up chicks in that tank!

"Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles: Nut. Doonut. (#2.17)" (2004)
[Caboose has a crush on Sheila the tank, who is spending a lot of time with Lopez the robot]
Caboose: [yelling from the distance atop the Blue base] Sheila! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!