Amuse Your Queen, Joker [Ravenwood & Julia]

[julia]

Joker laughed and combed his hair back, smiling at his reflection. He looked over at Harley Quinn, presenting himself, knowing that her simple mind would stroke his ego nicely.

"Gosh, Mistah J..." Harley gasped and looked him over, as she did almost daily, "You sure look nice..." Joker smiled and laughed, pleased that Harley still thought as highly of him as he did. "Do ya think you can get batbrain today, Mistah J?" she asked, walking up to him in a cute manner as he laughed his evil laugh.

"Oh, Harley, my dear, I can do anything!" Joker chuckled and then turned sharply away from her, ignoring her attempts at a hug. He was becoming bored of Harley, and even though she was still simple minded, she was becoming no more than a tool for him to use. Descending the stairs, Joker looked around at his beautiful chemicals and ingredients for his bombs.

"Hey Mistah J?" Harley called, looping her arms around his shoulders as he sat down. "What happens if I stop tellin' ya that you're handsome?"

Feeling something boil in his gut, Joker glared at Harley. "It's simple, my dear. You will end up with one of the pretty little bombs in your mouth, tied to the railroad tracks!" he growled, the pitch of his voice changing throughout his sentences. He watched as Harley's eyes filled with fear and her arms unlooped from his shoulders.

"Sorry Mistah J..." she whispered and sat down, watching as he began to tinker with his bombs. "Is that little surprise in the safe still workin'?" Harley asked and Joker grinned maliciously.

"Why yes... it is. I believe that we can catch our little kitty cat friend with it, unless someone else decides that they need that ruby," Joker grinned, keeping his head focused on a blueprint for a bomb. Harley cocked her head to the side and looked at Joker.

"But Puddin', ain't Catwoman outta town? I thought she was gone to New York for some animal right's thing..." Harley questioned and Joker's pencil broke in his hand as he growled deeply and stood in anger.

"Then someone had better fall into it, otherwise you and I are going to have a problem!" he screamed at Harley, raising his hand in a threat to which Harley instantly flinched.

[Ravenwoodwitch]

(You catch catwoman? NEVA!)

The Queen had to admit; she felt bad for the clown lady.

Max had been watching the compound for some time now, poised in the high beams above the basement, watching from the shadows. Clothed in dark red and black, she leaned down just slightly to get a better view of the oddly violent couple, seeing the girl flinch back as her man lifted a hand to strike. The whole thing made the Queen of Hearts Purse her lips in shame.

Girls shouldn't put up with that kinda crap, She thought, resting her arm on her knee. Ah well, not my problem. Her own fault for not sticking up for herself...

She cared more about the gem in the vault. The mention of a trap in the safe made the girl's ears perk, and made her draw three more slight explosives from her bag. Joker's little stunt had robbed her of a perfect record in Gotham city, from being the one who stole all the Bleeding HeartGem displays. The red Diamond, emerald and Sapphire were snug back at her secret stash...and she wanted that ruby. Her whole frame shook with joy at the thought of getting away with it.

So let's get started... she thought, before she threw the small explosives into the ventilation system. BOOM! They exploded, and flooded the room above with pink, sweet smelling smoke, making Joker's gangs suddenly fall over, expressions of admiration on their faces.

[julia]

Joker sniffed the air lightly and raised a brow to look behind him. There was a sweet perfume coming from another room, and it seemed to do nothing to the Clown Prince. He smiled and tucked his hands behind his back as he waited. His guest, a new one by the nature of their entrance, was not here for him. They were here for the item that was stored in the safe. But the surprise that awaited them was something he would have to watch for himself.

"Harley, get my remote! My stories are on!" he demanded, then walked over to a wall that was covered in monitors. One of them was focused on the room, which was now filled with a pink smoke, and another was focused on the vault.

"Come out come out wherever you are..." he coaxed as he scanned the monitors for his guest. He smiled widely and tried to stop himself from giggling.

[Ravenwoodwitch]

The smoke worked, as Max made her way back towards the surface. She moved through the vents as quietly as a mouse, and dropped down in what looked like a room to store all the loot. The place was surrounded by money, looking like it was slowly running out, and variouss gags that would elicite various combinations of giggles and screams. Maxy admitted, she liked some of the less destructive ones, but kept her eyes on the prize.

As the rooms guards fell over, dumbstruck and utterly useless, she slithered on over to the vault, finding it locked via code. The brunette rolled her eyes, under her red mask, and searched around in her back. She drew a small, electric stick, and stuck in a hole near the vault. The lock beeped, and died in a puff of smoke.

She grinned, body moving in a tight catsuit, before she pulled open the vault open. She ducked left of the predictable punching spring, and wiggled her way inside. The ruby was perched on a claw in the room, on a weight activated security by the look of it. She lifted a red-glass substitute from her bag, lifted the ruby from the claw, and replaced with the fake.

"Piece of cake," she said, putting the object down her shirt, just as the doors slammed behind her.

[julia]

Joker pressed a button under the monitors and an intercom clicked on, filling the safe with the Joker's unstable voice.

"Hello hello!" He greeted, imitating Julia Childs. "Welcome to my abode, its an absolute joy to meet you..." he spoke, his voice going down in tone as though he was getting tired. "I hope you'll enjoy staying with us for a while, because that safe is locked tight! You're not Catwoman, but oh... you'll do quite nicely..." he purred into the intercom. "Now, I'd like you to relax and take deep breaths... this won't hurt at all..."

The ruby inside Max's shirt opened up and filled the room with a thick, purple smoke. Joker watched in anticipation as the gas was released. The intruder would soon laugh herself into a state of unconsciousness. It wasn't deadly, just an anesthetic. She would become numb and pass out, so Joker and Harley could make their way into the safe and move her to wherever the Joker thought an interrogation session would be best.

[Ravenwoodwitch]

"AH!" The cat-thief gasped when the jewel exploded, only making her inhale the gas that spewed out. The irony of her chest being her downfall would have been enough to make her laugh to begin with, as she quickly got a face-full of what she thought would be the death of her.

Joker's laughing gas was infamous for it's murderous property. As it entered her system, Max's laughter began to shake her shoulders. It started as a simple giggle before the girl threw her head back in a full out belly-laugh. As she fell down on the floor, beginning to feel dizzy, she ended up flat on her back, eyes strangely clam for her scenario.

I suspect I'm dead... she thought, chest shaking slightly as she laughed. Is this how all great names feel on the end of it?

Wishing she had gotten just a little more exposer, her eyes shut as consciousness left her.

[julia]

Joker waited for the cloud of purple to disperse before he opened up the safe. Harley jumped for the intruder and tied a rope around her. She then handed the rope to the Joker, who smiled approvingly and began to drag the unconscious thief into the basement of the hideout.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts... dodododo..." he sang merrily as he dragged the body roughly down the stairs. Harley skipped along beside him, then assisted him in placing her into a chair and tying her to it. Joker giggled and looked over the nicely shaped intruder. A wide smile graced his harsh face, and he tapped his fingers together in anticipation.

"We got her good, huh Mistah J?" Harley asked. Joker nodded and brought his hand under Harley's chin.

"We certainly did... now for us to wait for her to wake up and then... oh we have a little surprise for her!" he cackled, then began to pace.

[Ravenwoodwitch]

Max had a mixture of two emotions when she woke up. One was the usual grogginess, feeling like her head had been smacked (it hadn't, but she could have sworn). The other was genuine surprise that she could feel anything at all. She was gased by the Joker, but was still alive to know that her chest hurt.

Mustn't have been the real stuff... she thought, gingerly bringing her head back up. There was a room, one that looked like it pinched away any chances of outside communication. Her body ached, like she'd been punched, and she was tied to a metal chair. Curiously, she realized her mask was still on, the red and white strip still covering her eyes.

"...huh..." was all she said at first, eying sir clown, and clown maiden. "I'm alive; surprising."

She quirked a brow at what had to be the boss, the Joker, and tilted her head. "I warn you; I have a high tolerance for pain."

[julia]

Joker watched in glee as his captive stirred and looked at him a bit unsure of her surroundings. She was feisty, as shot threats at him as soon as she was able to comprehend her predicament of being captive. He walked forward towards her, Harley under his arm.

"Why would I harm the newest recruit?" he smirked, then grabbed her chin and looked her over in the dim lighting of the basement. "Hmm yes... not a whore, but not a virgin either... I like it. Our little bat friend will no doubt be entranced," Joker smiled confidently, then offered Max a cigar. "Do ya smoke?" he cackled, then popped the cigar in her mouth.

Harley laughed lightly, then sat down in the corner and smiled at Max.

"Now, first things first," Joker started as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Your name. And I don't mean your fancy alter ego... I mean the little girl behind the mask," he grinned, pulling the mask off Max's eyes.

[Ravenwoodwitch]

"Recruit?" The girl quirked a brow. "I didn't sign any papers..."

His next comment only made her brows knit together, only mildly insulted. Still, she had to admit, the famous villain was slightly more impressive up close than way up from the ceiling. Strong character, defintely strong features, and an impossing figure to be sure. Max might have given him a spin for his money, had he not been the one in control of the situation.

Though I do admit, I was never against ropes.

The mask flew off rather easily, only really being tied in the back with her hair. Both it, and the ribbon, came undone, making her dark black locks fall down around her shoulders. Max closed her eyes, opening them again when the mask was off, revealing two, near white blue iris's.

"Name's Mad Max..." she said softly, though not weakly. "Though the name on my contract is Maxine. Haven't heard that name in awhile..."