All-New! All-Different! (SCHOOL FOR CLICHES OOC)

[tamefisher]

The Gist of the Thing

Spoiler

In 1960, a private think-tank called the Sue Foundation received a grant from the United States government to create a school for the recruitment and training of the world's most powerful and dangerous cliches, from magical time-traveling cyber-ninjas to immortal half-dragon swordsmen.

How does the staff find these insane beings born of a mad god's fever dream? These ridiculous, improbable characters are described in detail in The Book - carved out of a solid chunk of Aintgonnabreakium, written in a language only Headmaster Gary Stu can read, The Book contains the entire history of existence, from start to finish, as foretold by THE AUTHOR (yes, in all caps), the omnipotent, omniscient creator of all things.

Under the guidance of slightly-less-stereotypical teachers, these living goofs struggle to find a kernel of uniqueness within themselves, while protecting a world that dislikes and mostly ignores them!

The Story So Far

Spoiler

What Will One Day Be Paradise, Kansas, North America, Earth, 592 B.C.E. - A single flower blossoms in a field of human bones - and EXPLODES!

That's all. Read the next one, now.

Earth, 1945 C.E. - The Second World War ends after the Red, White, and Blues drop a Big Bulky Bomb on some other guys. His popularity boosted by the victory in the Pacific, President Truman is crowned Emperor of Super-America, transplants his brain into a giant robot body, and makes smiles illegal.

A team of reckless half-vampire super-soldiers - led by the atom-powered S.T.U. Brothers - assembles to battle Truman 5000 through time, rewriting history to eventually arrive at the current, accepted timeline. A few things have changed, though - Truman 5000 is now trapped in a time loop, thanks to the selfless sacrifice of Mary Sue, a reality-warping superheroine who gave her life to ensure a future full of peace. Well, not really peace, but...you know, less giant Truman robots.

Paradise, Kansas, September 1st, 1960 C.E. - Despite Congressional protests, President Kennedy approves funding for the Mary Sue Academy for the Narratively Gifted, and assigns the office of Headmaster to the only surviving Stu Brother, Gary.

Present Day - The Mary Sue Academy enters celebrates its fortieth consecutive year without a Plot Hole. Classes begin anew.

Rules

Spoiler

There's a long version of the rules, and a short version. Both are pretty short, but, you know, relatively, the titles make sense. Listen, just read one, okay? Don't worry about it.

• Guild rules regarding flaming and, you know, generally unhelpful stuff apply here, obviously.
• Just because the RP concept is silly doesn't mean I don't expect quality posts. I'm not going to enforce a strict sentence minimum, because I think that's asinine, but unless you're writing some crazy-ass William Faulkner-esque compound sentences, you're not going to be able to get much across with a one-liner. If you think you can, though, you're welcome to try.
• As you can see by the example characters, I encourage the creation of meta-characters that play with the fourth wall, and that pretty much implies certain behaviors that could be construed as godmodding. Basically, my rule is this: Clear any action in which you manipulate someone else's character WITH THAT CHARACTER'S CONTROLLER. That said, I expect everyone that plays this to be more open to allowing craziness to go down. Don't sign up if you're uncomfortable having your character die or get turned into a bunny or something for a page or two.
• On that note, reconsider joining if you're not willing to play around with others. This could end up being a pretty straightforward RP, but it could also turn into a thinly-veiled debate about the merits of solo versus collaborative writing via dueling robots in space. Be ready to adjust accordingly.
• Play SMART. The idea of leaning on cliches is supposed to make character generation and plot set-ups easier to get started, but that doesn't mean everything should play out like a bland retread of someone else's story. Challenge yourself!

• Write smart. If you're playing a shallow, one-dimensional cliche (which is sort of expected), you should make the circumstances of playing that character interesting.
• Write well. Most content is subjective, but we'll be operating under the shared understanding that proper spelling and grammar are things we can all do. Typos aren't the end of the world, but completely missing the mark on a word is almost impossible.
• Don't be an asshole. I'm sure there's a thread for that somewhere around here.

Character Application

Appearances first! Start with a reference image for your character. Use a picture! Use anime pictures! Real life pictures! MS Paint drawings! A picture of a house cat!

Name: Either make this snappy and easy to recall, or long, overly-hyphenated, full of apostrophes and generally unreadable.
Position: Is this a super-cool new teacher? A magical genie/soccer coach? Or maybe a genuine, super-cliche student? Answer those questions here!
Special Skills: Make some attempt to explain any weird powers or quirks your character may have! Extra points for ambiguity! (Note: Not really. You get the same amount of points*.) (*It's zero points.)
Elaborate Backstory: Outline a hypothetical story your character would have been born in so we get an idea of the character's tone. Put together a quick origin story!

The Faculty

Spoiler

Gary Stu (Headmaster)

General Roy Edgars (Government Liaison)

Delilah Armstrong (Phys. Ed Teacher/Glee Club)

Mr. Knuckles (Substitute Science Teacher)

Anzu Yamazaki (Art Teacher)

Emotikon (Guidance Counselor)

Maurice (Groundskeeper)

Other People

Spoiler

Flatus (???)

Max (Student)

Ash (Student)

R.O.C.K.O. (Student)

Arya'ar'na (Student)

Sugoi Desu-Chan (Student)

Langdon Yount (Alumnus)

Henry the God-Damned Cheese Wheel (???)

The Grounds

Spoiler

The School


Dining Hall


Dormitories (Under Construction)

[tamefisher]

GARY STU

Spoiler

Name: G.R.S.T.U. (Giant Robot Shrunken To Us-size), aka Gary Stu
Position: Headmaster, Teacher (Drama).
Special Skills:

Stuper-Duper Strength: Stu can lift four times his own weight, regardless of how much he happens to weigh at the time.

Rocket Panch!: Stu can launch his arms at a target up to thirty feet away. Well, I mean, he can launch them at a target any distance from him, but they'll miss if the target's further than thirty feet away.

Stuper-Smarts: Stu's brain is a space-age computer powered by atomic-age engineering, granting him insight into a part of existence most people can't even fathom - with enough concentration he can reach through dimensional layers with his mind and read the OOC thread of this very RP!

He can also learn anything, from foreign languages to alien technologies, after a full paragraph's worth of research.

Elaborate Backstory: A child of the atomic age, GRSTU was built to battle fascists with rocket fists! Conceived as a massive, four hundred ton robot by Howard Hughes, he could combine with his brothers Marty and Larry to form SUPREME-O, a ten story high war machine with laser-eyes and nuclear nunchuks.

Sadly, Marty and Larry went Missing In Action during the last days of World War II, and on his first day back in the States, Stu became the first and last test subject for Nikola Tesla's amazing shrinking ray during a bizarre covert mission to Seattle no one really talks about.

Stu retained all his robot features - rocket-powered arms, a hatred for Godzilla - but was for all intents and purposes just a hefty four-foot-tall unemployed robo-dwarf. That all changed when he found The Book, spent a good five sentences studying it, and deciphered its language. Inside, he found the knowledge it would take to convince the U.S. government to fund the opening of a facility that could raise and train the sort of oddly-shaped, poorly conceived weirdos most of society shunned.

[tamefisher]

DELILAH ARMSTRONG

Spoiler

Name: Delilah Armstrong
Position: Teacher (P.E., Glee Club)
Special Skills:

Psychic Hairstyling: Through some ridiculous twist of fate, Delilah has gained the ability to increase or decrease a person's physical strength and durability by styling their hair, as well as read the minds of anyone whose hair she cuts.

Elaborate Backstory: After flunking out of beauty school six times, Delilah Armstrong was hit by a truck and bathed in irradiated hair product, granting her powers far beyond those of mortal barbers!

[tamefisher]

ANZU YAMAZAKI

Spoiler

Name: Anzu Yamazaki, real name Lauren Koch
Position: Teacher (Art)
Special Skills:

Lethal Wapanese: Anzu is able to spread an insatiable hunger for Japanese pop culture by touch. While under her spell, victims will find themselves completely overwhelmed by their obsession with anime, samurai/ninjas, pocky, or any combination of those things.

Elaborate Backstory: Lauren Koch spent a summer in Tokyo after college. That's pretty much it.

[tamefisher]

EMOTIKON

Spoiler

Name: Emotikon
Position: Guidance Counselor
Special Skills:

Tele-Empathy: Emotikon is extremely attuned to the feelings of those around him, and uses his insight to counsel students and co-workers alike. Oddly enough, while his power allows him to calm most people down fairly quickly the first time, it often creates the opposite reaction a second time, and some people just skip to the 'getting madder' right away.

Super-Concise Communication: Lacking a mouth, vocal chords, or really anything resembling a consistent physical form, Emotikon communicates entirely in...well...emoticons.

Elaborate Backstory: None on file, but really, do we need one? Would that justify him any more? I mean, he's an emoticon. No amount of explanation for that could really ever be sufficient.

[Synthorian]

I feel like making a fart cloud character for this.

[tamefisher]

Go with that feeling.

[Synthorian]

Name: Flatus (nicknamed Colon Cologne)

Position: No one's really sure. He just floats around and fills the rooms with colon gasses and stinks out the place.

Special Skills:

-Accumilate: He can accumilate farts... Making himself a bigger fart cloud... What else is there to say?

-Prelonged Fallout: His sheer stench is so thick that it remains there, for a very, VERY, long time. The smell can also stun people, and render their sences useless.

-Methane Fallout: Provoking this cloud will create some... catastrofic results.



Elaborate Backstory: He was born from a giant poop blob in sewers, and somehow the gases accumilated into a sentient Flatus cloud that ruins everyones day. Flatus was also featured in the womens magazine, Learning to Fart, as the number 1 smelliest fart cloud in existance.

[MisterGrey]

Yes. God, yes. Just give me awhile to think of an idea that doesn't suck.

[tamefisher]

Synthorian, you have done the world a great service.

Dozens - no, hundreds - no, thousands - no, millions of people are reading this thread, or will be, decades hence (provided the internet remains a thing), asking themselves one question. It's a good question, mind you - not like "WTF?" or "Is this supposed to be funny?" What is the question, you ask? You'll find I've written the answer below. The question is also there. Not the previous question, the one that answers it.

"How long will it take before someone signs up to this thing as a fart cloud?"

And now we have an answer. That answer, of course, is "actually not that long at all".

APPROVED FOR ALL OF TIME.


Have at it, MisterGrey. Perhaps you, too, will answer a question that will echo throughout existence, defining this very thread.

No pressure.