WOTM: Spam Edition #1

[Kyuki]

Okay so I just came up with the most beautiful thing ever. But since I missed the deadline, I decided I'm going to make an anti-WOTM thread. Because fuck the police I do what I want. I'll add a poll later once I force persuade a few people to enter. ;D So yeah you can totes join or whatever, just PM me your entry. ;DDD I really wanted to be in WOTM ;_; I just didn't get my spark of inspiration until it was too late. D:< I'm so totally going to win.


Deadline for entries: 6:00PM on 2/7/2013

Voting will go up sometime after the deadline and it will close whenever I feel like closing it. c:

THEME:LOST

Requirements: THE PERSON/THING IN YOUR STORY HAS TO HAVE LOST SOMETHING BECAUSE WE ALL DO IT. THOSE FUCKERS ARE NOT AN EXCEPTION! D:<
There are no length requirements, just has to be at least one word. <3
May the best story mine win! c:

Winner will recieve a special signature saying they won the first ever WOTM: Spam edition! c: Oh and bragging rights are a given.
If I can find someone to make it

Disclaimer: this is in no way related to the official WOTM and don't expect anyone to give a shit if you win. >: D And I totes didn't do this just because I wanted to enter my masterpiece and missed the deadline for WOTM.

Happy Writing! C:

The Entries:

The appliance lost
Where will I store cold foods now?
Refrigerator

I LOST MY BOYFRIEND
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE HAS GONE
SOMEBODY HELP
BECAUSE I NEED SOMEBODY
NOT JUST ANYBODY
I NEED
I REALLY NEED
TO FIND MY BOYFRIEND
FOR WITHOUT HIM
THIS VALENTINE'S DAY LOVE
SHALL BE LOST
FOREVER

The morning sun pierced through the thin layer of blanket which acted as makeshift curtains covering the window. The dull room came alive with a sea of yellow ducklings drifting opposite of the rising sun. A young black man named Sugar lied in his bed, void of box-spring, legs, or headboard. A small hole in the hanging blanket allowed a single bright beam of light to shine through. This spot of warm light graced Sugar's ebony skin like the caressing fingertips of a loving mother he never had.

Eventually the dot of light made it's way onto Sugar's eyelid. "Get that shit out of my face, nigga" he mumbled, thinking his older brother Mwanajuma was teasing him. "Oh," he opened his eyes to find that it was in fact his makeshift curtains that caused his rude awakening. Flipping open his phone, Sugar struggled to read the time against the back-light. "Ten thirty? It's fucking Sunday!" He rolled over in his bed, determined to get at least another hour of sleep.

Moments later a second hole in the blanket shown a light onto the mirror in Sugar's room. The light bounced directly into Sugar's tired eyes. He tugged his blankets upwards, putting his head under the covers. It had been two days since Sugar's last shower, and on top of that he played a very intense game of basketball the night before. Needless to say, the scent of his own smelly ballsack quickly changed Sugar's mind about hiding under his covers.

He rose in a hurry, throwing the blanket and sheet off of himself. Sugar begrudgingly dressed himself while repeating mostly the same curses over and over. He walked out to the hall to find his mom making herself breakfast in the kitchen.

"Sugar, what you doin' up this early?" She asked, before taking another puff of her cigarette. Sugar kept his eyes mostly to the side in order to avoid getting a look at his mother's dainty nightgown.

"That motha fuckin' blanket on my window ain't doin' shit. I can't sleep with that fuckin' sun in my eyes."

"Watch your mouth boy." She said quite unenthusiastically, as if she was only saying it because she was obligated. "And you know me and Joe needed those more than you. Until you get a job, Sugar, you better be happy with whatever you get hangin' up in your window."

"Well can I at least have some of that bacon?"

"Make your own food, nigga." She retorted, serving herself the bacon and eggs.

"Stingy ass." Sugar whispered under his breath.

"What'd you say?

"I said where's the tape at!?" He walked around, searching the many unorganized drawers in the kitchen and living area.

"What you need the tape fo'?"

"Does it matter? I'm gonna patch the holes in that damn blanket so I can go back to bed." His searching became more frantic as he began rechecking the same drawers.

"You best stop talking to your mother that way, motherfucker. I'll slap the shit out of you!" She spoke with much sass. "Oh, and I think I remember your brother couldn't find the tape yesterday neither."

Mwanajuma...

"Did he ever find it? Where's he at?" Sugar asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"I think he out ridin' your bike with his friends." She said, nomming on some bacon.

Mwanajuma...

"A'ight. I'll be back in a second. I'ma go find that nigga real quick." He spoke as he quickly grabbed a small piece of bacon off of his mother's plate and made for the door. He shoved it in his mouth before she could say something. "Later!"

"Sugar!" She yelled before the door closed. "You lucky I love you boy." She muttered to herself.

The world is a cruel place. The streets are unforgiving, especially so in urban areas like our friend Sugar resides in. In this cruel, cruel word violence can break out in a moment's notice. There is no reason, no grand scheme. People are wasting their own lives, but at the same time also stealing them from one another.

In this environment, a simple journey to recover a lost roll of tape can turn into anything. As Sugar stepped out of his home and made his way onto the sidewalk, a loud car roared in his direction. There were two men wearing unwelcome colors standing near Sugar. They began to sprint away from the oncoming vehicle. Sugar didn't know how to react so he just watched in awe. As soon as the guns fired it was already too late.

Sugar's journey ended there. His quest for lost tape ultimately resulted in the loss of his life.

PENIS

Gather 'round, children.

Once upon a time...

The rest of the story has been lost to the ravages of time. Deal with it.

A Haiku

I've lost my eyeballs
Someone tell me what's in the
Refrigerator.

She lost her favorite pencil.

i los my swagg
it wuz a sad dai 4 us.

but i wnt 2 da stor nd boght sum chainz nd jordans nd fond my swagg agin.
it wuz a hapi dai agin

I looked out the window at the car. I was on the second floor of my house, but who to say I am not telling a lie? Upon looking at the cold stone walkways that lead to my house, I reach into my pocket for a key for the door. But then I look down, and remember.

I have lost my hands

I lost the game

They are all just so beautiful :')

Please read all of the entries and choose carefully which one you think should be the winner of the first WOTM: Spam Edition! c:

[Jorick]

Hmmm...

[Whetfeather]

Meh. I'm not going for this. Mine was an ON TIME masterpiece. >:U

[SmexySpiral]

I might do this just because I already have a short story loosely based around a similar concept.

[CommunistZed]

Meh. I'm not going for this. Mine was an ON TIME masterpiece. >:U

This.

[Kyuki]

Hmmm...

I lol'ed. x)

Meh. I'm not going for this. Mine was an ON TIME masterpiece. >:U

FINE. NOBODY EVEN ASKED YOU.

I might do this just because I already have a short story loosely based around a similar concept.

Oh noes! I hope I still win! :OOO

[Hellis]

Totes in. My mind is such a mesw right now

[Kyuki]

Totes in. My mind is such a mesw right now

Oh snap, stuffs getting real.

[Alphakoka]

Hmmm...

[2].

[Jorick]

[2].

Not for the same reason as me, I think.

I must needs watch this upstart rabble in case it attempts to challenge the real WOTM competition. As a manager of said true contest, it is my obligation, my sacred duty, to make sure these shenanigans stay in the lowly filth of Spam where they belong. I monitor this thread to be ready to cleanse it with righteous purging fire should the need arise.