Want a lazy review of your writing?

[AwsonRew]

This is an incomplete WOTM entry. I've been wanting a review of the piece and the format for a while. I just never got around to asking anyone. I'd like to know how it turned out so I can decide how to approach the next one.

If you love me, you'd could put a little extra ass into the review. Also do that if you hate me.

The Prince's eye could not be torn
from The Woman held captive.
This Woman he once mourned
now seen to have lived.

No other man would decide
This Woman's fate.
Only the man before her eyes
held power so great.

A tough decision came about,
A King's army they'd have to break through.
The Prince let The Woman out.
With a whisper: "Thank you"

Part 1

"Who is That Woman?"
a young boy asked his father.
"You're not supposed to be here!" The man barked
"Go no farther!"

He stopped in his tracks.
Armed men hurried to escort the boy away
hiding her with their backs.
"What is-" the boy tried to say

That's when he saw The Woman through the crack.

She poked her head out from the crowd
looking for the source of that tiny sound.
Now her features were in full view.

Though his lips could part
not a word would pass.
A vice clenched his heart.
And only a second had passed.

This Woman, who appeared to be twice the boy's age
stole his heart with a mere glance.
As the sight of her perfection began to fade
he took it all in while he had the chance.

She was the most of everything in this world
leagues beyond the common girls.
Every other color blue was a lie
save the bluest blue that was her eyes.

They were not bright, but dark.
Never dull.
A live wire. A spark.
A window into her soul.

The Woman's hair, he shortly observed
was as black as the edge of everything.
He did not take note of the styling
for he dared not stray from his universe.

All of this from a faint glance.
Yet he would never forget.
Utterly Entranced.
And that was the end of it.

The boy was escorted out.
His mouth finally able to make sound.
All he could do was shout
and stamp his feet on the ground.

The King lowered his head
knowing precisely what occurred.
His son was now affected
by That Woman's curse.

All of the men at The King's side
wore cloth on their eyes.
All except him.
As he was meant to be the only victim.

• • •

It was time yet again
to witness Paradise.
Her cage kept out all men
but could not stop a particular pair of eyes.

Days after the first encounter
The Young Prince grew desperate.
As life without his Love
brought the boy torment.

Her underground room
was made nearly impregnable.
Never let outside
for all men were susceptible.

The only key
was held by The King.
Though he visited her rarely.

Why waste such a thing?
The boy couldn't help but think.

If I were the one
to hold such a power
I would abandon the sun
to be with That Woman at every hour

I could hold his title
Why wait until he passes?
She sits idle
While nothing but time passes.

Thoughts of his father faded
as The Young Prince neared a secret door.
This one was unguarded
as few knew what it was for.

A full grown man could not fit
through such a small opening
The boy opened it
reaching inside for one of the strings.

It was a small lift
leading to The Woman's quarters.
Now inside the shaft
he lowered himself closer and closer.

Careful not to make a sound
his feet finally touched the iron ground
It was the top of the elevator box.
Fortunately, he remembered his socks.

And what was the reason
for The Young Prince's endeavor?
His father might see it as treason
but the boy didn't care whatsoever.

In all the darkness of that shaft
A beam of light stabbed through.
In the mortar the boy had crafted
a small hole into her room.

For years The Young Price would sneak away
to steal a glace at The Woman.
His studies and health suffered
as he led himself astray.

Until one dreadful day
where his actions were revealed.
The King was furious
and the hole was sealed.

Part 2

Life went on for The Prince.
His studies were on the rise.
Before he knew it
It had been years
since last he saw her eyes.

The Young Prince was no longer a boy.
Now set with an intelligent countenance.
Eventually he found joy
somewhere in his adolescence.

Gone but not forgotten
those nights alone, together in the darkness.
Where he had fallen to sin
staring with unhealthy excess.

Now his gaze turned to contempt
towards his own father
and the key around his neck.

His royal life fell short
to the privileges of The King.
Even with all of his riches
The Prince cared for only one thing.

Time was the greatest enemy.
The one he could not cut down.
For what would be left of The Woman's beauty
when it was his turn for The Crown?

A method to cope with the time passing away,
The Prince trained in survival and swordplay.
His father was curious
The son was furious
biding his time for the perfect day.

Whether it would be dealt
with by stealth or blade
was a lingering decision
yet to be made.

• • •

Together, Alone.

Her skin was pale
shining like polished stone.
Yet he held her as if frail.
She appeared to condone
his actions without speaking a word.
Both parties prepared for whatever they may incur.

The Prince's eyes shot open
as he reached his arm into the air.
He clenched his fingers around nothing
hoping to grasp a lock of her hair.

Lying alone and cold in his own bed
The Prince wished for nightmares instead.
This was the first dream of The Woman
ever to grace his mind.
The Prince could not help but lament
for fear his new-found desires could not be confined.

"Father!" he yelled
leaping to his feet.
Tears welled.
So began his deceit.

When The Prince reached his father's room
a guard stepped in his path.
"Please move
I need to see my dad!"

"Do you know the time?
His Majesty is asleep.
And why are you crying?"

"That business is mine.
Your punishment will be steep
if you insist on prying."

"I am sorry but I cannot give you permission
until you explain."

"I just had a horrible vision
wherein my father was slain!"

With a crook of his neck
the guard looked quite perplexed.
"I suppose we must check,
but you too must be checked."

Annoyed, The Prince submitted
moving aside his cloth.
He appeared to be outfitted
for nothing more than a wash.

"Thinking I would harm my father...
What gives you the right!?"

"Sir
You know there are certain protocols for the night."

Ending their quarrel
the pair rushed inside.
They could immediately tell
The King was perfectly fine.

They could tell
because he quickly arose,
furrowed his brow
and crinkled his nose.

"What do you idiots think you are doing
bursting into my room at this hour?"
The King was fuming
and the guard cowered.

"Father, are you harmed?"
The Prince rushed to The King's side.

"Unless either of you are armed
I think I'm quite alright."

The Prince explained his reasoning
for bothering The King so late at night.
Surprisingly, the old man began smiling.
His son's worry brought delight.

The King insisted the guard leave them be
in order to console his son in privacy.

The two men hardly spoke
drifting apart over the years.
It was worth being awaken
to see his son's caring tears.

The moment started to subside
and The Prince took his leave.
Not a single suspicion would rise
in The King, now fast asleep.

The Prince checked his back
making sure he was not followed.
If he were indeed being tracked
he feared the gallows.

Arriving at his destination
he knew not whether to knock.
With much hesitation
he inserted the key into the lock.

The Prince entered the portal
as if walking into his own fantasy.
He was a mere mortal
coming to see a deity.

Much to his surprise
The Woman stood in the doorway
The Prince surmised
she somehow knew he was on his way.

The Prince then realized
The Woman seemed
to have not aged a day.
All of these years
and she still appears
to be
just entering adulthood.
Only a few years
older than me.

They stood there for some time
The Prince, of course, stunned by beauty
"Do you know who I am?"
He managed.
"Do you know about me?"

She nodded and took a step closer.
The Prince looked to the floor
fearing more exposure
would burst his core.

"Tell me your name"
Still afraid to make eye contact
Staring at her feet.

Was she speaking?
He couldn't be sure
over the sound of his own heartbeat.

The Woman stepped closer once more.
The bottom of her nightgown danced
around her knees.

"Do you know what I came here for?"
What are chances
she feels the same for me?

She stopped and gestured towards the wall,
To an out-of-place patch.

"So you know it all?"
She nodded yes.

"You're not normal are you?
Not human, I mean."

She smiled
closing the space between
the two.

He managed to meet her eyes again
even gaining the courage to look away
at everything else.
It was then
he lost the ability to say
anything else.

Nothing was as wonderfully blue
But everything was perfect still.
"Do you..."
The Prince tried to say until
The Woman reached into the air
weaving her hand into
The Prince's hair.

It seemed his dilemma
had ended with this.
He no longer searched for words
as her lips locked with his.

Part 3

[Hellis]

You know what, this could be fun.

What defines a being? Is it his actions: In part yes. Yes it is. Is it his family? His surroundings? His friend. In a way it is. But WHO are you? You are a name. Even if someone never seen you, they might have head of you. And when they recognize your actions they call out your name. They say that forgetting a name is forgetting his actions. So what would happen, if we all forgot? What would happen if a Mother forgot her son name or if a driver forgot where he lived. What if all names in their entirety were gone.

What happens then?

Let me tell you what happens. Chaos happens. Mothers can no longer remember who their children really are and people can no longer remember where they work, eat or sleep. Their memories become confused and jumbles messes. They are driven insane.

That's what happened to our world. But let me start from the beginning. It turns out that there is a second world. That is the place where we humans give rise to creatures of dreams and nightmares. A place where inspiration is everything and where figments of inspiration are reality. And there, name is the very essence of a being. If a child once thought of “Evil Straw” as a childhood villain, then he exists. And while we thought nothing of it, things began to move.

There was a disaster, a great rift between the worlds opened and the surreal reality of the “Other place” seeped into our own. And humans, in their ingenuity realized here was a source of power and money. There were diamonds and gold guarded by measly goblins and trolls. And so the darkness of human greed bled into a world driven by human inspiration. On the other hand, here was a hole in the fabric of our world that confirmed every childs worst fear. THEY were real. And so, they came. Creatures of the nightmares of our children; The very definition of evil incarnate. The world was plunged into chaos. And in the midst of this was a lone child. One ignored by the world. One given no name but Loser. He was dying, stabbed by a creature referred to as “The Ripper”. In his dying moment he asked why he had to die.

“Because someone named me The Ripper. And now I Kill. Don't you have a name?”

“No Herr Ripper. They only call me a loser. But if everyone mean because what they are then I wish nobody had a name. So that I am no longer Loser and you are no longer Ripper”

Nobody would expect the world to be torn up by a single boys dying wish. But the world was allready on brink of collapse due to the surrealism of the situation and the rampart power abuse. But now it was all going to come crashing down as the wish unleashed a power on the world that swallowed everything. The Nameless King stepped forth and he removed every name we kne, plucked the knowledge from our minds and he killed figments by taking that which defined them. And he made men and women forget who they were. Who their families were. In the chaos that ensued, the two worlds fully merged into one. A post apocalyptic landscape defined not by the past but by its lack of a future. It’s A world that defines your shape and your purpose by the name given to you, be . Where people in lack of an identity cling to whatever they could.


The World that Never Been

[WereCat]

I'm writing two monologue assignments for my Writerscraft class tonight. EDIT THEM FOR ME SPAM!

[Jorick]

This is an incomplete WOTM entry. I've been wanting a review of the piece and the format for a while. I just never got around to asking anyone. I'd like to know how it turned out so I can decide how to approach the next one.

If you love me, you'd could put a little extra ass into the review. Also do that if you hate me.

The Prince's eye could not be torn
from The Woman held captive.
This Woman he once mourned
now seen to have lived.

No other man would decide
This Woman's fate.
Only the man before her eyes
held power so great.

A tough decision came about,
A King's army they'd have to break through.
The Prince let The Woman out.
With a whisper: "Thank you"

Part 1

"Who is That Woman?"
a young boy asked his father.
"You're not supposed to be here!" The man barked
"Go no farther!"

He stopped in his tracks.
Armed men hurried to escort the boy away
hiding her with their backs.
"What is-" the boy tried to say

That's when he saw The Woman through the crack.

She poked her head out from the crowd
looking for the source of that tiny sound.
Now her features were in full view.

Though his lips could part
not a word would pass.
A vice clenched his heart.
And only a second had passed.

This Woman, who appeared to be twice the boy's age
stole his heart with a mere glance.
As the sight of her perfection began to fade
he took it all in while he had the chance.

She was the most of everything in this world
leagues beyond the common girls.
Every other color blue was a lie
save the bluest blue that was her eyes.

They were not bright, but dark.
Never dull.
A live wire. A spark.
A window into her soul.

The Woman's hair, he shortly observed
was as black as the edge of everything.
He did not take note of the styling
for he dared not stray from his universe.

All of this from a faint glance.
Yet he would never forget.
Utterly Entranced.
And that was the end of it.

The boy was escorted out.
His mouth finally able to make sound.
All he could do was shout
and stamp his feet on the ground.

The King lowered his head
knowing precisely what occurred.
His son was now affected
by That Woman's curse.

All of the men at The King's side
wore cloth on their eyes.
All except him.
As he was meant to be the only victim.

• • •

It was time yet again
to witness Paradise.
Her cage kept out all men
but could not stop a particular pair of eyes.

Days after the first encounter
The Young Prince grew desperate.
As life without his Love
brought the boy torment.

Her underground room
was made nearly impregnable.
Never let outside
for all men were susceptible.

The only key
was held by The King.
Though he visited her rarely.

Why waste such a thing?
The boy couldn't help but think.

If I were the one
to hold such a power
I would abandon the sun
to be with That Woman at every hour

I could hold his title
Why wait until he passes?
She sits idle
While nothing but time passes.

Thoughts of his father faded
as The Young Prince neared a secret door.
This one was unguarded
as few knew what it was for.

A full grown man could not fit
through such a small opening
The boy opened it
reaching inside for one of the strings.

It was a small lift
leading to The Woman's quarters.
Now inside the shaft
he lowered himself closer and closer.

Careful not to make a sound
his feet finally touched the iron ground
It was the top of the elevator box.
Fortunately, he remembered his socks.

And what was the reason
for The Young Prince's endeavor?
His father might see it as treason
but the boy didn't care whatsoever.

In all the darkness of that shaft
A beam of light stabbed through.
In the mortar the boy had crafted
a small hole into her room.

For years The Young Price would sneak away
to steal a glace at The Woman.
His studies and health suffered
as he led himself astray.

Until one dreadful day
where his actions were revealed.
The King was furious
and the hole was sealed.

Part 2

Life went on for The Prince.
His studies were on the rise.
Before he knew it
It had been years
since last he saw her eyes.

The Young Prince was no longer a boy.
Now set with an intelligent countenance.
Eventually he found joy
somewhere in his adolescence.

Gone but not forgotten
those nights alone, together in the darkness.
Where he had fallen to sin
staring with unhealthy excess.

Now his gaze turned to contempt
towards his own father
and the key around his neck.

His royal life fell short
to the privileges of The King.
Even with all of his riches
The Prince cared for only one thing.

Time was the greatest enemy.
The one he could not cut down.
For what would be left of The Woman's beauty
when it was his turn for The Crown?

A method to cope with the time passing away,
The Prince trained in survival and swordplay.
His father was curious
The son was furious
biding his time for the perfect day.

Whether it would be dealt
with by stealth or blade
was a lingering decision
yet to be made.

• • •

Together, Alone.

Her skin was pale
shining like polished stone.
Yet he held her as if frail.
She appeared to condone
his actions without speaking a word.
Both parties prepared for whatever they may incur.

The Prince's eyes shot open
as he reached his arm into the air.
He clenched his fingers around nothing
hoping to grasp a lock of her hair.

Lying alone and cold in his own bed
The Prince wished for nightmares instead.
This was the first dream of The Woman
ever to grace his mind.
The Prince could not help but lament
for fear his new-found desires could not be confined.

"Father!" he yelled
leaping to his feet.
Tears welled.
So began his deceit.

When The Prince reached his father's room
a guard stepped in his path.
"Please move
I need to see my dad!"

"Do you know the time?
His Majesty is asleep.
And why are you crying?"

"That business is mine.
Your punishment will be steep
if you insist on prying."

"I am sorry but I cannot give you permission
until you explain."

"I just had a horrible vision
wherein my father was slain!"

With a crook of his neck
the guard looked quite perplexed.
"I suppose we must check,
but you too must be checked."

Annoyed, The Prince submitted
moving aside his cloth.
He appeared to be outfitted
for nothing more than a wash.

"Thinking I would harm my father...
What gives you the right!?"

"Sir
You know there are certain protocols for the night."

Ending their quarrel
the pair rushed inside.
They could immediately tell
The King was perfectly fine.

They could tell
because he quickly arose,
furrowed his brow
and crinkled his nose.

"What do you idiots think you are doing
bursting into my room at this hour?"
The King was fuming
and the guard cowered.

"Father, are you harmed?"
The Prince rushed to The King's side.

"Unless either of you are armed
I think I'm quite alright."

The Prince explained his reasoning
for bothering The King so late at night.
Surprisingly, the old man began smiling.
His son's worry brought delight.

The King insisted the guard leave them be
in order to console his son in privacy.

The two men hardly spoke
drifting apart over the years.
It was worth being awaken
to see his son's caring tears.

The moment started to subside
and The Prince took his leave.
Not a single suspicion would rise
in The King, now fast asleep.

The Prince checked his back
making sure he was not followed.
If he were indeed being tracked
he feared the gallows.

Arriving at his destination
he knew not whether to knock.
With much hesitation
he inserted the key into the lock.

The Prince entered the portal
as if walking into his own fantasy.
He was a mere mortal
coming to see a deity.

Much to his surprise
The Woman stood in the doorway
The Prince surmised
she somehow knew he was on his way.

The Prince then realized
The Woman seemed
to have not aged a day.
All of these years
and she still appears
to be
just entering adulthood.
Only a few years
older than me.

They stood there for some time
The Prince, of course, stunned by beauty
"Do you know who I am?"
He managed.
"Do you know about me?"

She nodded and took a step closer.
The Prince looked to the floor
fearing more exposure
would burst his core.

"Tell me your name"
Still afraid to make eye contact
Staring at her feet.

Was she speaking?
He couldn't be sure
over the sound of his own heartbeat.

The Woman stepped closer once more.
The bottom of her nightgown danced
around her knees.

"Do you know what I came here for?"
What are chances
she feels the same for me?

She stopped and gestured towards the wall,
To an out-of-place patch.

"So you know it all?"
She nodded yes.

"You're not normal are you?
Not human, I mean."

She smiled
closing the space between
the two.

He managed to meet her eyes again
even gaining the courage to look away
at everything else.
It was then
he lost the ability to say
anything else.

Nothing was as wonderfully blue
But everything was perfect still.
"Do you..."
The Prince tried to say until
The Woman reached into the air
weaving her hand into
The Prince's hair.

It seemed his dilemma
had ended with this.
He no longer searched for words
as her lips locked with his.

Part 3

Disclaimer: I'm not poetry expert. I'd like to think I know more about the mechanics of what a poem should aim for than the average person, but I also tend not to like poetry much and thus don't go out of my way to read it. Take this all with a grain of salt, because I could be talking out of my ass due to ignorance about poetry.

Disclaimer 2: I also sort of lied in the title. Lazy reviews? lolnope

I can see why you'd want a review of the format. I'll say right off the bat that the larger text size for yelling is bad and distracting. That's a cheap gimmick to attempt to increase the emotional weight of the yelled lines, give them volume by size rather than by content and phrasing. The different font for speech is fine, but I think your choice of fonts here was bad. You should aim to use two that are the same size, or perhaps to give speech the larger font. As it is, with spoken words looking smaller than the rest of the text, it seems a little backwards.

You didn't stick to one basic size for stanzas, nor did you maintain a consistent framework for your rhyming, which can be good or bad depending. Not sticking to 4 line stanzas throughout allowed you to do more with the language, split things up for better flow and style, which is good. The inconsistent rhyming is alright, but it makes the stanzas where you use a basic ABAB pattern seem relatively wooden and out of place. Also, your rhyming didn't hew to very strict strong rhymes of the traditional sense, using soft/weak rhymes where necessary and just saying fuck the rhymes otherwise. Again, could be good or bad, but I think it mostly worked out for you here because none of them stuck out to me as a bad or ill-fitting rhyme.

I'd suggest you try to use some of the more subtle poetic tricks to add the flow of your work: rhymes inside one line rather than just at the end of two separate lines ("her face, her endless grace" as one line vs. face and grace at the end of two different lines), alliteration, assonance, consonance, so on. You could also try for more metaphor and descriptive language; the part where you described The Woman was quite heavy in the vivid imagery, so it was disappointing to see very little of that later on. Consistency was kind of problematic in another way, too. In some stanzas you have very long lines amidst short ones, and vice versa; I'm speaking of syllabic length here, not visual. Having such jarring differences can make the reader recognize things seeming off, thus screwing with your flow, so try to keep instances of vastly different line lengths for moments where you want to jar the reader. And one last thing: some of your lines were kind of odd and ill-fitting, making me pause and wonder wtf you were doing. "Fortunately, he remembered his socks," comes to mind. It just doesn't fit, seems goofy and out of place, like you couldn't think of anything else to go there and keep the rhyme intact. There's not a lot you can do to avoid these sorts of lines other than reading your work aloud and trying to spot things that seem out of place, but it's all rather subjective so that's obviously a problem.

Overall I'd give it 8/10. I liked it, which is not at all usual for me and poetry.

[The Australian]

Because why the fuck not?

[Jorick]

You know what, this could be fun.

What defines a being? Is it his actions: In part yes. Yes it is. Is it his family? His surroundings? His friend. In a way it is. But WHO are you? You are a name. Even if someone never seen you, they might have head of you. And when they recognize your actions they call out your name. They say that forgetting a name is forgetting his actions. So what would happen, if we all forgot? What would happen if a Mother forgot her son name or if a driver forgot where he lived. What if all names in their entirety were gone.

What happens then?

Let me tell you what happens. Chaos happens. Mothers can no longer remember who their children really are and people can no longer remember where they work, eat or sleep. Their memories become confused and jumbles messes. They are driven insane.

That's what happened to our world. But let me start from the beginning. It turns out that there is a second world. That is the place where we humans give rise to creatures of dreams and nightmares. A place where inspiration is everything and where figments of inspiration are reality. And there, name is the very essence of a being. If a child once thought of “Evil Straw” as a childhood villain, then he exists. And while we thought nothing of it, things began to move.

There was a disaster, a great rift between the worlds opened and the surreal reality of the “Other place” seeped into our own. And humans, in their ingenuity realized here was a source of power and money. There were diamonds and gold guarded by measly goblins and trolls. And so the darkness of human greed bled into a world driven by human inspiration. On the other hand, here was a hole in the fabric of our world that confirmed every childs worst fear. THEY were real. And so, they came. Creatures of the nightmares of our children; The very definition of evil incarnate. The world was plunged into chaos. And in the midst of this was a lone child. One ignored by the world. One given no name but Loser. He was dying, stabbed by a creature referred to as “The Ripper”. In his dying moment he asked why he had to die.

“Because someone named me The Ripper. And now I Kill. Don't you have a name?”

“No Herr Ripper. They only call me a loser. But if everyone mean because what they are then I wish nobody had a name. So that I am no longer Loser and you are no longer Ripper”

Nobody would expect the world to be torn up by a single boys dying wish. But the world was allready on brink of collapse due to the surrealism of the situation and the rampart power abuse. But now it was all going to come crashing down as the wish unleashed a power on the world that swallowed everything. The Nameless King stepped forth and he removed every name we kne, plucked the knowledge from our minds and he killed figments by taking that which defined them. And he made men and women forget who they were. Who their families were. In the chaos that ensued, the two worlds fully merged into one. A post apocalyptic landscape defined not by the past but by its lack of a future. It’s A world that defines your shape and your purpose by the name given to you, be . Where people in lack of an identity cling to whatever they could.


The World that Never Been

First off, cool concept. I've always been interested in things where names have great power. Names as the whole of your identity, and then being stripped away, seems fun.

For the writing, it's kind of bad. You use a lot of sentence fragments and very short sentences in quick succession, which makes your writing very choppy rather than flowing smooth as it should. There are also some spelling errors, and some phrasing that's kind of broken. You shouldn't start so many sentences with 'and,' most of those should be replaced with another word to start the sentence or shouldn't be sentences by themselves, should be attached to the preceding sentence by a comma. I recall you saying something about English not being your first language, so having issues with the written form (which is probably more difficult than speaking the language) is understandable. You're doing better than a lot of native speakers, so consider that a success.

To try to fix the problems, I have two suggestions. First, try reading your writing out loud, try to keep it to a natural speaking rhythm rather than pausing wherever you have a period. I know elsewhere periods are called 'full stops,' and that's what they represent. Periods should go where you make a full pause in speech, not everywhere. If you make a short pause it should be a comma, if there is no pause when you say it out loud then there probably shouldn't be any punctuation at all. Another way to look at it is that commas separate different but very closely related parts of a thought, periods separate different thoughts. This might be slightly confusing if you don't think of things in the same was as me, so feel free to disregard that and stick to the analogy between pauses in speech and punctuation.

My second suggestion would be to use a spellchecker program, preferably one that detects sentence fragments and improper phrasing and such rather than one that only looks for misspelled works. If you can acquire a copy of Microsoft Word, their spellchecker system works pretty well for that. I don't know of any others that do that because that's the only one I've ever had need of, but I'm sure some exist, probably even some free ones on the internet. Using such a program could fix all your problems, really. It's not that you're bad at the language, your ideas are clear enough and I can tell what you're saying, it's just some mechanical problems that need some work.

Overall I'd give it a 5/10 because of the reasons stated above. Probably could go easily up to a 7/10 if you run it through a properly equipped spellchecker. I think I'm going to stop using a 10 point rating system though, because trying to decide what number to give people takes up almost as much time as writing the review.

[WereCat]

Jorick please help me by reading and possibly editing my assignment.

Pretty please.

[Kill Bones]

I don't have anything I've written on hand, but critique my writing in the latest rpgfa that I totally gave up on because real world obligations

[NatsumeHack]

http://roleplayerguild.com/showthrea...=1#post8292634
http://roleplayerguild.com/showthrea...=1#post8305206

[Jorick]

Jorick please help me by reading and possibly editing my assignment.

Pretty please.

Do I look like a fucking editor? D:<

Reading can be done though.

I don't have anything I've written on hand, but critique my writing in the latest rpgfa that I totally gave up on because real world obligations

You bastard. I'll get around to it in due time.