Ow my head hurts. What happened? Did the plane crash? Oh God I hope the plane didn't crash. Who is going to find us if we are stranded here? No one wants to go searching through Antarctica to find three poor explorers who were dumb enough to crash their plane in Antarctica. We're doomed now. We're going to lay here dying. It's so cold. I'll freeze to death in just a few minutes. I hear it is a painful way to go though, like falling asleep. I like sleep. Sleep is comforting. Death isn't though.
Oh God please don't let me freeze to death out here. I've been a good Catholic boy. I went to church every Sunday, I prayed every morning and every night and I even prayed before every meal. I did everything you asked of me. I clothed the naked, fed the hungry and cared for the sick. I tried my best to follow the Ten Commandments and I also confessed when I did something wrong. I've been really good God, please don't let me die. I'm too young to die. I'm scared to die. What will happen to me? Will I make it to Heaven eventually? What will it be like sitting through the burning flames and cleansing of Purgatory? Will I feel pain? Will I still be able to see my family and friends from wherever I am? What if there is nothing after death. My body will just rot in the ground forever. What will that feel like? I can't even imagine not being able to feel, to touch, to see, to smell, to think! Please don't let me die God, please don't let me die!
Maybe I'm an idiot. How do I know you even exist God. Maybe I was stupid and fed in to all the lies I've been told since I was a child. Why would this be happening to me if you did exist? I've been good, I've loved everyone I met, even those that were hard to yet this is what happens to me? I hate you God! How is this fair? How is this just? How is this part of your plan? I'm lying here now, freezing to death and the only hope I have is that maybe you do exist and have some messed up reason for letting me die right here, right now. Is that really how you treat your followers? You take them away when they're only seventeen years old, having experienced so little, while in their prime? I had dreams God. I was going to go to university, get married, have kids, teach others about your promises. You were my everything. I gave my short life over to you and now you've destroyed it! I hate you God, I hate you!
I'm sorry God, I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me, I didn't mean it! I'm scared. I don't want to die. How will my family deal with my death? They already have enough problems. My sister can barely handle the stress of university and my parents are struggling through their marriage. My death will crush them. My sister will drop out, unable to do any work, and surely my death will drive my parents apart anymore. God please don't let me die for their sakes! What about my friends? The everyday reminders of me being gone forever. My spot on the bus, my seat at the cafeteria table, my alto saxophone all left untouched. Will they even miss me? People die all the time and sure you're upset for a little while, sometimes a long while, but then you get over it. Eventually you forget about the person until something reminds you of them. I don't want to be forgotten, I want to be remembered.
Oh my God I can't feel my limbs. I can't even feel my fingers. Move finger, move! I can't move at all anymore. I'm dying! No one is even around to save me. I'm all alone. Wait, I'm not alone! What happened to the other two who were with me? I haven't heard them or seen them. Are they alive? Did they die in the crash? Damn it they must be dead, there is no way the could be alive and not make enough noise for me to realize it. Mind you I've been pretty silent, so maybe they are alive! My mouth is too cold to even open and try to call out to them though. God seriously, don't let me die. I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm alone, freezing to death. Why? Why God why?
My vision is blurry now. I can't see anything in front of me. Uh oh why is my vision smaller now too? It's fading on me. It's all going black. No! No! I can't die, I won't die! I'm too young. Wait is that a speck in the distance? Am I hallucinating now too? What is that dark speck I see? Is it coming this way? Is it someone looking for us? It can't be we haven't been here that long. Vision don't fail me now! God, I can't see, i can't see! I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die!
Please God... Don't let me die...