Print the picture out. Hundreds of times. Once you've got them, buy several hundred thumb tacks and some sticky tack. Make sure she's at work, and that you have the house to yourself. Tack the pictures all over the walls of your house, leave no inch uncovered with the momvag. Then, take the last picture and on the back of it, write the words in big black marker "I know your secrets..." then stick it to the front of the door, with the words facing out so that your mother sees it when she gets home.
“Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story – who you choose to be.”
"Illuminate a world that will try to bring you down."
Hellis, my Hellicopter
Kenyi, my personal amusement
Walker, Tabletop Wiseman
Sophi, Sophi <33
Jorick, He who is without mercy
I almost did a serious reply until I looked at OP and then I just started laughing like
If I found that on my computer I'd have to disown myself and live in the mountains.
Signature was made by Harbinger.