You guys are probably sick of my bitching, so this'll be it.

[Esper]

You honestly think I haven't considered this from all angles? I've been dealing with these people for longer than you've been alive. I know enough about them by now to know that they don't like travel, don't like change, don't like anything that doesn't have to do with religion or children.

As for you being "guilt-proof," pass that the fuck around.

That's how I do it though. I look at my parent's as individual beings and not authority figures. Not that I ever had much respect for authority figures in the first place, but still. I hear what they say and see why they say it. From there I discern their intentions given my experiences with them, their tone, and a few other factors. If they come to me with honest concern I am more than willing to discuss the issue or hear them out. I then let them know I will take that into consideration and thank them for their input. I have at that point allowed them to convey the point they wished to and that earns me a mutual respect that I am willing to not only consider my own perspective. I feel better knowing I showed respect and carried myself as an adult. If others are unable to do that it is on them, but more importantly I did not alienate people I care about which may make them push harder.

I also never raise tone at people or show an emotion in my face when discussing things with people. People find it difficult to manipulate others when they are able to discern what others are thinking or feeling. Depending on the person allowing them to lose their patience is the only thing I need to do. When they do lose their cool I ask them to take a moment and collect themselves. This puts them off their guard, after all if they are yelling and I am not flinching then clearly they are not getting the result they are trying to achieve of bringing me down to their level. Respect in my opinion is often one of the best tactics to counter manipulation.

If they bring the issue up again I remind them of the former discussion and ask why they felt the need to bring up a previous discussion. That usually fizzles out the issue by drawing a line in the sand, although respectfully.

[HaloAssault]

That's how I do it though. I look at my parent's as individual beings and not authority figures. Not that I ever had much respect for authority figures in the first place, but still. I hear what they say and see why they say it. From there I discern their intentions given my experiences with them, their tone, and a few other factors. If they come to me with honest concern I am more than willing to discuss the issue or hear them out. I then let them know I will take that into consideration and thank them for their input. I have at that point allowed them to convey the point they wished to and that earns me a mutual respect that I am willing to not only consider my own perspective. I feel better knowing I showed respect and carried myself as an adult. If others are unable to do that it is on them, but more importantly I did not alienate people I care about which may make them push harder.

I also never raise tone at people or show an emotion in my face when discussing things with people. People find it difficult to manipulate others when they are able to discern what others are thinking or feeling. Depending on the person how how quickly they lose patience this is the only thing I need to do. When they do lose their cool I ask them to take a moment and collect themselves. This puts them off their guard, after all if they are yelling and I am not flinching then clearly they are not getting the result they are trying to achieve of bringing me down to their level. Respect in my opinion is often one of the best tactics to counter manipulation.

If they bring the issue up again I remind them of the former discussion and ask why they felt the need to bring up a previous discussion. That usually fizzles out the issue by drawing a line in the sand, although respectfully.

This would be absolutely perfect if we were dealing with reasonable, halfway-sane people. Unfortunately, and trust me on this, Taaj really isn't.

[Esper]

This would be absolutely perfect if we were dealing with reasonable, halfway-sane people. Unfortunately, and trust me on this, Taaj really isn't.

You'd be surprised how reasonable people can be when you strip them of their sense of power. That and my mother is a very strong feeler and sensor. She perceives through her feelings and what she sees around her. She can be quite unreasonable, but knows better than to try and force my hand. She will end up angry or upset and I will walk away unscathed. You have to train them to learn no means no.

[HaloAssault]

You'd be surprised how reasonable people can be when you strip them of their sense of power.

Or how unreasonable they can be when they feel they're losing control and/or power. Indeed, they could fight all the harder and all the more blindly, just to hold onto that same sense of control. It's very much dependant on the person, and from what I've seen Taaj's parents fall into the latter category.

[Esper]

Or how unreasonable they can be when they feel they're losing control and/or power. Indeed, they could fight all the harder and all the more blindly, just to hold onto that same sense of control. It's very much dependant on the person, and from what I've seen Taaj's parents fall into the latter category.

Everyone has a point which they have exhausted themselves when throwing a fit and they are forced to act reasonably.

[HaloAssault]

Everyone has a point which they have exhausted themselves when throwing a fit and they are forced to act reasonably.

Or they could have their fit and then storm out, not leaving you any chance to engage their reasonable side, if they even have that side to them. And, of course, during the course of that unreasonable fit they may have done and said any number of things which could not then be rectified afterwards.
It's very dependant on the person you're trying to talk to. I'm sorry to say that some people are just controlling, unreasonable, horrible people, and it would be beyond anybody to manage to make them see simple reason. Sad fact of life.

[Esper]

Or they could have their fit and then storm out, not leaving you any chance to engage their reasonable side, if they even have that side to them. And, of course, during the course of that unreasonable fit they may have done and said any number of things which could not then be rectified afterwards.
It's very dependant on the person you're trying to talk to. I'm sorry to say that some people are just controlling, unreasonable, horrible people, and it would be beyond anybody to manage to make them see simple reason. Sad fact of life.

And yet the same result of them backing off is achieved. You cannot change people, but you can always forgive and leave the door open should they decide to change.

Life is too short to hold petty words said in anger inside. At that point you then because as unreasonable as those you hold in contempt for acting that way.

[Azarthes]

Now.
I know this might be a little unorthodox.
But have you ever considered killing your family and self?

[Sole]

My parents, I don't even know where to begin. I'm "selfish" and a "hindrance" because I'm going to school and planning to take a class abroad, which (gasp) costs money and shit, apparently. They're also furious because I don't want to work at a summer church camp. I think I've described my reasoning for this before, since it interferes with a very important paper I have to write after coming back from the class abroad. They're absolutely certain that I won't be able to get any other job than that. My mother so kindly pointed out today "well at least McDonald's hires all the time." Thanks for that support, mother. Your motherly sensitivities astound me.

Not only that now, but it's suddenly my fault that I'll have traveling costs to get home for my sister's wedding this summer. I know, I'm confused, too.

What scares me the most is how much they can get inside my head, and make me believe that all of this really is my fault, and that I'm causing the family irrevocable damage just by being a part of it. It scares me that they can make me think seriously about canceling a trip abroad that I've been dreaming about since I was 9, and that they can make me believe that I'm a pile of shit, and not worth a thing unless I adhere to their agenda.

That's all. I don't really know where I'm going anymore, and all of this probably seems like "middle class american white girl" problems to you, so. Y'know.

Nah it's alright, I have middleclass white guy problems. I had to scrap up 150 bucks so I could go to Maine for three days in April. Meanwhile I'm balancing schoolwork out with two other trips I'll be going to: one tomorrow for days in Hartford, and another next week for another three days in Hartford. After those two trips is my Maine trip. Meanwhile I only have 50ish bucks in my account as I wait for my paycheck because I just bought a new bookbag and jacket on ThinkGeek.

Which I hate spending money. However, I fucking really wanted the two items.

And I take my ServSafe certification test on the 2nd, following that with a capstone culinary project. Then not too long after that project is another, large project that's taken me 10 months to prepare for, that I have to present. On top of all this, I have to decide between the many colleges I've been accepted to, to attend one. Which is more than likely going to be UConn for their teaching program's utmost strictest standards.

White people problems.

[HaloAssault]

And yet the same result of them backing off is achieved. You cannot change people, but you can always forgive and leave the door open should they decide to change.

Life is too short to hold petty words said in anger inside. At that point you then because as unreasonable as those you hold in contempt for acting that way.

No, it isn't. Because this way, the issue remains open, a source of conflict between you and the other person, instead of something you could talk through with them and hopefully reach some sort of agreement on. And then another argument occurs about it later.

It is not unreasonable to be hurt by vicious words.

EDIT: Anyway, it's midnight for me and I probably shouldn't debate or argue or whatever on this just now.