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03-22-2013 #1
Jorick

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Magnificent Bastard

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Foxes

Make a set out of this.

Did you know we have a Writer of the Month contest? Come join it.
WOTM #26: Evil Wins is under way and open for voting through June 15th.
Casual Voting | Advanced Voting

Originally Posted by Sophistikit

I don't know why, but this fucking killed me. Maybe it's your utter determination to be an asshole, but wow, I lol'd.

Originally Posted by Turtlicious

And now I can't stop laughing, Thanks Jorick. <3

Originally Posted by Darkdrago666

You loveable asshole, you.

You are blunt, and to the point.

Originally Posted by Sophistikit

If I had feels, they'd be all yours. :'D

Originally Posted by Myyt

Jorick: This guy is an evil genius. In the dry, in your face trufax sorta way. If you ever want the blunt truth, this is the guy to ask, which makes him amazing.

Originally Posted by Esper

Jorick is one of those people you shouldn't take seriously. He is rude for the sake of being rude much of the time. Outside of Spam that is not who he is, but here in Forum that is how he carries himself.

Why do I respect that? He doesn't give an apology for being himself or making ridiculous claims to deflect when people call him on it. Jorick is Jorick, a charismatic ass to the end.

Originally Posted by Elendra

Ladies, contain your orgasms for Jorick

I had dibs first.

Originally Posted by Rilla

Put it this way.

If me and Jorick meet docile or non-docile lifeforms... they'll bow.

Without a fight.

Why?

Because it's me and Jorick.

We'll use our combined charisma, wit, and generally dickish attitudes, to put them in their unwelcome places.

Vote Rilla/Jorick - Space Emperors... To Infinity... and Beyond.

Originally Posted by overwatch

When Jorick says something, It's like adding a 100,000 ton weight onto a side of a scale.

Originally Posted by Kill Bones

Jorick is like a monster truck shaped like a t-rex

He is elegantly designed, menacing, loud, a bunch of people love him for reasons I don't understand, and he makes no fucking sense when described by similes

Originally Posted by Walker of Darkness

You're an egotistical, sociopathic, insufferable jackass, but you stick to your convictions and in general show others respect until they prove to be nothing more than bumbling idiots. You've also shown a kinder side from time to time, but very rarely. Other than your blown out of proportion ego, I have no issues with you.

Originally Posted by ★LunaLight★

Jorick, I find you to be really witty and fun. I'm also jealous of your writing ability. I get mad at you when you do stupid things that get you banned, but at the same time I don't think it is my place to tell you those things since we aren't good friends yet. You seem like the kind of person I would consider dating.

Originally Posted by Hank

Jorick is a monster. The way he perfectly knows how to emulate this depravity of a subculture with cold, unerring accuracy is just inhuman. Ted Bundy raped and killed women. Jorick's worse.

Originally Posted by PrimezTime

I imagine Jorick as Khal Drago. His victim would either suffer, take it, and cry about it or learn to please him and become his Khaleesi.

Originally Posted by SmexySpiral

I think Jorick's the only person who can make giant posts and I'll still read them anyway.
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03-22-2013 #2
Herzinth

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The Lop-Eared Urchin

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Glory Fades
95

Spam Talks Philosophy 3rd Edition

Originally Posted by Azarthes

I WAS GOING TO COMPLIMENT YOU BUT THEN I MISTYPED AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT I TYPED FOR THE LAST FIVE SECONDS WHAT

Originally Posted by SmexySpiral

I reiterate, I want a Herzi/KB/Jorick threeway.

Originally Posted by Butter

Herzi x Potted Cactus 5eva.

Originally Posted by Azarthes

Cactinth is now a thing.

Originally Posted by TP

You're all a bunch of idiots. And Herzi has awesome gifs.

Originally Posted by Asuras

Threadmon the television series.

Herzinth Ketchum is a young lad looking to become the greatest poster there ever was.

Originally Posted by Christiefries

I had a dream about so much purple. I was wearing purple. I was in a purple room. I had purple objects. I thought of you. I felt like I was taking over your life or something.

Originally Posted by Foxes

I like Herzinth.

Originally Posted by Elendra

You are awesome

Originally Posted by Bela

You're a beautiful person Herzi. We should talk more.

Originally Posted by Sherlock Holmes

Herz is my new favorite.

Originally Posted by Whetfeather

XD love you, Herz.

Originally Posted by Kangaroo

You show little faith in Herzi's seductive abilities.

She could get really drunk.

Originally Posted by Christiefries

I thought Herzi was a female when I first joined the Spamworld.

Originally Posted by SmexySpiral

People think Herzi's a woman?

...

...

...

...:D

Originally Posted by Jorick

People mistaking Herzi's gender amuses me greatly.

Originally Posted by ★LunaLight★

I totally thought you were a girl too.

Originally Posted by Clirkus

You metaphorcally stab me in the heart, beautiful dame.

Originally Posted by Herzinth

You know I'm a guy, silly goose.

Originally Posted by Clirkus

I did not expect this.

Originally Posted by Clirkus

Uh huh. And to think I thought you were a really cute, kind of attractive in a weird way girl.

Originally Posted by Clirkus

You're a cross-setter then, like a cross-dresser but, with your set.

Originally Posted by Hellis

Also. I first thought you were a girl Herz XD.

Originally Posted by Foxes

"I think it's a woman. Wait, no..."

Originally Posted by Foster

Wait... Herz is a guy?

Originally Posted by Albino Toad

Herz, I thought you were a dude.

Originally Posted by Herzinth

I am.
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03-22-2013 #3
Foxes

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03-22-2013 #4
Alphakoka

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Credit to Harby the Australian Harbringer.

Clicky clicky

Character Sheets

The Freeland of Xrixk

Originally Posted by Sophistikit and her comic

[10:27:54 PM] Sophi: Posting it in spam so they can shame me if I pull a Foxes and don't go anywhere with it

I guess that means she's incredibly thick-skinned or all that shame is hidden underneath her fat.

Originally Posted by Sinrus

You have eight fucking threads on the first page alone. Our server is held together by chewing gum and the collective prayers of the userbase, 75% of which is atheist. The server. Can not handle. Your bullshit.

Originally Posted by Sinrus

THE MODS ARE SACRIFICING US

THEY WISH TO SUMMON AN ELDER GOD

WHEN YOU GET BANNED ON RPG, YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE

Originally Posted by LunaLight

People in spam are like family. We poke fun, play games, and get on eachother's nerves because it is funny. But nobody is supposed to actually hate each other. Coming in on spam, it certainly looks like a hell hole, but it is just a crazy disfunctional family.

Originally Posted by Darkdrago666

Alphakoka has been known to walk to any point in the universe. He has the power to become invisible. Alphakoka has an astounding mountain fortress carved from crystal, plus Alphakoka possesses the power to block explosive missiles and deflect them toward a single attacker. he fights with a cataclysmic trained zebra that also grants a phenomenal luck and he combats enemies with a wicked quarterstaff made from adamantium and he has a reputation for a marvelous constitution. Shamefully, Alphakoka is notorious for being tired

Originally Posted by Bela

You know, Toellner being Iron Man really puts a hamper on my Stark Fantasies. ;_;

Originally Posted by Simply_Deamon19

Originally Posted by Valeric

Lol, guru posted a novel.

No, he posted the entire fecking trilogy.

Originally Posted by Guru

Note that Rilla is INDEED stupid, just not /that/ stupid.

Originally Posted by Omega

<Omegakoka> Attempting to give a fuck: WIT+POL =3
<Omegakoka> !e 3
<VisibleQ> Omegakoka (3), 1, 5, 6, Successes : 0, Botch

Originally Posted by ♠Ace♠

Originally Posted by Turtlicious

Originally Posted by ♠Ace♠

I'm a little Tur-Tle, short and stout...

Grab me by the handle, and blow me by the spout.

When you tip me o-ver, I can't get up off of my back~

Be-cause my arms are stum-py, just like my shaft~

Originally Posted by Jorick regarding renaming a long thin tunnel called shaft

GUISE

Let's call it the...

Super Hot Anal Fun Tunnel

SHAFT for short.

Originally Posted by Elendra

[Excerpts taken from the Skype Group, slightly edited for the guild]

"Imagine hank wearing only a blue bikini and socks
He walks up to you, sits on your lap and grinds against you while stripping
Imagine him giggling a little when he tries to undo the bikini but can't get the knot untied at first
His fingers are shaking because he's both nervous and excited"

...

Imagine it people. Let it fill your mind.
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