Hey Spammers. I know that some of you are actually really fantastic advice givers, so I'm going to leave this here in hopes someone can help me. I'm having a hard time. I know it is lengthy, but please give it some thought if you have the time.
My boyfriend and I have been together since middle school (barring a short break in 10th grade). We are now going into our senior year of college. My boyfriend spent two years at a community college to get his basics. I went straight to a four year university. This time last year, my boyfriend was accepted to the same university.
He went into the engineering program, and did terribly. He failed most of his math classes, and some he went on to fail two more times. I kept asking him, is engineering really where you want to be? He kept saying yes.
At the end of last semester, his GPA fell below a 2.0. He didn't even get enough credits to move from sophomore to junior. The university put him on probation, and he was kicked from the college of engineering. He tried to retake his math class, to get back into the college and raise his GPA, but he failed it. Now not only has he been kicked from the college of engineering, and informed that he should not reapply, he was dropped from the university for a year. He will try to appeal it, but I have little hope.
I'm having a very hard time with this. I've been pushing him and pushing him, but he just won't improve. He blames the professor, the school, the work, and occasionally, he admits he isn't trying hard enough. I'll be the first to say he does come from a family of lazy, apathetic people who don't work and live off of disability. They have never gone to college. But I expected more of him.
My parents are growing pretty turned off by his behavior, and I'm really annoyed myself. He keeps talking about how all he wants is to graduate, but then he won't put in the work to do so.
I know there is only so much that I can do, and he has to choose for himself, but all he talks about is being an engineer. I recommend other majors, and even after he knows he cannot study engineering at this university, he won't even talk about it.
How do I find the balance between being supportive and being realistic? Is there anything that I can do in this situation at all? Has anyone been through something similar? I'm just all over the place right now. :\