(Weeding out the instantly judgmental with my purposely misspelled pole, hehehe... hehe... hehe...)
Currently I have ONE slots open for someone to Role-play with me via PM's/Thread.
(Be prepared, rants ahead; you have been warned.)
First things first.
Listing some stupid list of rules that everyone already knows is bull***t. OOC and IC are different should be a given, RL before RP is fact, and being some douche-bag who has nothing better to do then vent their idiotic frustrations behind that constantly glowing screen of theirs merits pity.
1: I do mature RP's but WILL NOT make things disgusting on purpose. I only state the details of what is happening and have no intentions of holding back, if we find ourselves somewhere morbidly grotesque then that's exactly what it will be. Yes I will write out smut if my partner wants too but we'll be touching on that later.
2: Yes my character is stronger then yours, perhaps I'm god-modding but does it even matter? I don't care for ***holes who critique my ideas in some 1x1 venture when I've written five pages of notes and spent months on inventing another person. Call my character a Mary-Sue or compare him to Doctor Who before I have and offense will be taken, unless you happen to be incredibly polite about it.
3: I'm not here for your fantasy's or to escape reality because everything sucks and attention-whore tendency's of searing sadness run deep in my melodramatic veins. I'm here to experience other sides of perception, to sit there and smell the flowers. WHAAAT!? Its like fighting and sex aren't my primary functions in life!!!! Roleplaying is so much more, take a walk and blink through the distance of 5 days. Why cant things take awhile to progress? Why cant we find slow interactions beautiful? Taking a week to finish one SHORT conversation shows that there's plenty behind each word for both personality's, so why the f*** won't anyone enjoy that rather than sitting there and getting bored, soon deciding to quit without saying anything and leaving me to dry like some piece of old jerky.
4: I give a sh**, in fact I give so much sh** about you that even if you message me just to talk no amount of poo-purri could ever cover it up. Ranting isn't something which happens often so obviously there is no intention of attention grabbing, but if you appreciate something and just want someone to message now and-again I WILL reply even if it takes a day.
5: Hey ***hole, warn me when you vanish for more then an hour and we're in the middle of something. Nothing makes me more aggravated to get a message saying "Oh yeah, family guy is way more important then your thoughts and time even though you've been refreshing your message box every minute to check for my next message." I mean sure you said "Got distracted by TV." But you might as well have spit in my face; unless of course you had some deep moment watching Cloud Atlas or UP. Don't think this means I hate people who are half-way inactive, just tell me you'll be doing something else... unless its an important something else which came up unexpectedly.
6: WTF is up with you people and smut!?! Sex is something compassionate and emotionally connective between two individuals and I treat it as such. I will spend time on each post and pour my characters heart out, it could take day's!! Even so, that doesn't mean you have to do it. Something deep like that can be felt through so many other methods of interaction, one look can speak volumes over someone. Stop looking at sex as some disgusting practice only hormone crazed adolescents and night-dwelling people do for kicks, its being physically AND emotional connected to someone simultaneously; that's f***ing beautiful. This being said, smut is something that could take upwards of one day to any number of months to achieve so don't come crawling to me for your piece of frustrated release; lots of porn sites are free so just have your fill and stop writing out all that gross crap you come up with everyday. I want to puke just thinking about everyone who gets online to verbally write out one-night stands day after day after day, I don't judge any of you as people but... dang. Oh and both me and my character are pan-sexual so anything goes, other than the obvious. ಠ_ಠ
7: I'm polite as hell, I will try my hardest to warn you, obviously stuff gets in the way and I'm 'perfect'. NO I'm not perfect but everyone's like "I'm not perfect so that's my excuse for sh** going wrong". Stop, just stop. If you have to state something SOOOOO factual I feel like you think idiocy has melted each cell inside my obviously thick skull. No, stupidity should not be encouraged. I will be incredibly understanding and WILL NOT shun 'noobs' but holy hell if you cant figure such things as that out you have more problems than writing I'm afraid.
8: Your age couldn't mean less to me, but being sad about everything all the time or throwing curve-balls of anger at me is intolerable. Also just saying "I'm a bitch sometimes" just shows you either have no self-control and need help or you can't admit when you're menstruating. Yes I'm a guy, but if you're feeling sexist or nodded you're head (whether internally or externally) after what I just said thinking "I knew he was a guy" then just leave. If your period is happening or you are suffering from something of equally painful forth-comings then 'being a bitch' is more than understandable, just warn me and all will be forgiven.
9: My post-length will be anywhere from semi-para to novella, though usually I mirror its just unpredictable sometimes. Commonplace I'm multi-para, I expect to see just as much on average with good grammar. If you're foreign or have dyslexia that's cool, but I'm going to be blunt here, I've met too many idiots who feel like someone pointing out their flaw is an utter power trip/insult and i just cant take it. If you have terrible grammar and cant construct sentences properly and you made it this far then I'm sorry but "drats" is hopefully part of your vocabulary.
10: If you constructively criticize me it will be appreciated and I will do the same. If you degrade me I will notify you, if it continues intentionally communication will be cut-off.
11: I'm not your therapist, I can barely maintain my own sanity. We don't know each-other personally but BASIC questions are answered honestly, if I say my days been sh***y and don't tell you why after further-prodding then you're just being aggravating. My life-story wont be shared unless under special circumstances.
12: TELL ME if you're bored or uninterested, we can work it out but I need to know by you actually saying it or all will be lost through miss-communication. I will tell you when I am and expect the same from you.
13: This thread does not represent any specific concept, we can speak about what I'm interested in during PM's.
Now the rants have pretty much ended, and since you OBVIOUSLY read all of that its time to discuss RP sterff.
I'm up for plenty of ideas!! Shoot me a PM and we'll take it from there. I have one or two characters I almost always use but honestly that can change if needed.
Still around! GREAT!! Shoot me a PM
(P.S. I don't get online till about 4 PM est Monday-Friday just as an initial warning. Weekends are unpredictable but usually responsive.)
Too anyone currently PMing me or just now reading this, I reserve the right to turn down our RP at all given moments before it starts for any reason I see fit. If this sounds harsh I'm sorry but its my thread. :/
If you really want to post here you can, otherwise I will just be bumping it with music or videos if no one's noticing my thread.