With the absence of Slingshot, I've decided to take up the unenviable mantle of Most Pretentious Spam Member (as if I didn't already hold it). Spam, here is your first lesson:
Conviction is the most faithful spouse. If you intend to keep it, it will never leave you. It will dry your tears and hold you tighter than anyone else. If you want to leave it, however, you must not pay it alimony. You must not pay it child support, the time of day, or even respect, for divorcing conviction requires conviction in and of itself.