Hubris (A working title) (High fantasy)
Firstly, I need a co-host. I have a full-time job that won’t allow me to roleplay on working days until later at night, so I’d need a volunteer for co-host. The co-host will know the general plot points that I want to hit ahead of time and will thus be able to guide the RP during my brief absences.
As this is one of my first roleplays I have hosted, I’d like some critiques of the story as of now.
A note to those who wish to critique, I want you to place priority in the following order:
1. Plot Points – Do they make sense?
2. Plot Points (2) – is it clichéd or trite in any way?
3. Syntax – Do you have to look twice or interpret my sentence in any way?
4. Everything else – Grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.
(The reason I say this is because when I used to make RPs the critique-ers would focus on number 4, I would fix it, then somebody would point something out from 1-3 and I would have to change the whole thing again, thus having to comb over #4 again. Remember this is a work in progress!)
And in their hubris they will think themselves as gods, and drink from The Font. Seeking power they shall thirst for the very life of the gods, and this strength will be turned toward the realm of man, leaving the Golden Realm to rust. As the strength of the Golden Realm fades the Old Ones will find themselves unchained and all the worlds shall taste an ancient hatred.
- The Ancient’s Prophecy, long forgotten.
It has been nearly a century since the Great Discovery. The war has raged for almost as long. No longer was divine power held only in the hands of the gods and their few chosen mortals. Those with the will could take that power for their own; they could become agents of their god’s will. It wasn’t long after tapping that power the divide between the otherworld and the mortal realm faded. Soon great cities of the arcane appeared, along with elves, eladrin and all manner of strange and fantastical beasts roamed the Mortal Realm. Fear and hatred drove us to war. Detesting this new power and fearing the consequences, The Purists began their campaign to remove these new powers from the world. With strength of arm and hardiness of steel they would rid this world of this new blight. The Aelear was the first to oppose them, with the mystic powers they seek to turn this world into their paradise. There is no direct translation to Aelear, and the word is difficult to say, so most call them the Obscure League. These two factions fought for several decades until The Righteous began their crusades. They would bring the word of the gods to any who would think themselves better without them or those with the hubris to use magic in any other name.
96 years ago a select few found a way to break the barrier and tap into the very life of the gods. Unknowingly they drained it and focused on the realm of man. The gods, having lost so much of their power, retreated into a safe corner, and their realm is falling apart. Before this so-called “great discovery” there were very few mortals who held any divine power, and they were essentially vessels for the gods. There were only a few in the mortal realm who could tap into the arcane powers, and they usually spent their life secluded and perfecting their crafts. The gods kept the otherworld and the mortal realm separate, but with their powers fading the two realms became one. Naturally this caused tensions. The Purists, those who wish for things to return to the way they were, those without any divine or arcane power, decided to eliminate the Aelear. The Aelear rose to fight them. A few decades later The Righteous had gained enough strength to attempt to… show the rest of the world the error of their ways.
The world has been ravaged by the merger of the two realms. Arcane energy leaks out from various places causing magical jungles to sprout in the most unexpected of places. Nature has begun to have a mind of its own. Naturally, much of it has been burned down due to the vicious wars. Where the land is not scarred the world is very much untamed, massive mountains, raging rivers, grasslands and massive forests are commonplace. Those native to the mortal realm have created settlements of varying sizes, tiny fishing villages to sprawling stone metropolises. Steel is relatively new. No gunpowder devices.
Magical Jungles: These jungles are essentially overgrown rainforests. Most things, as in animals and plants, have at least some sentience. Many animals have been changed by the tremendous magics swirling through these forests. There have been some cases of animals gaining true sentience, comparable to that of humans. Everything is alive in these jungles, and most who enter and do not respect nature will find themselves strangled by vines or otherwise unwelcome. They have appeared at seemingly random places in the world, perhaps soaking in the power from magical waters or perhaps they are simply survivors from the merger.
Magic is split into a few different categories:
Earth - Control over metals and stone.
Water - Control over water supremely in liquid form, minor control over ice.
Wind - Control over air, can cause gusts of wind of varying intensity.
Nature (plants and the like) - Control over plants, and influence over animals. A practicioner of nature magics may not have direct control of animals, but instead can influence non-sentient animals. IE, you can tell this hungry angry bear that x group over there is tasty, but you may not directly order or control said bear.
Energy - Untyped magic attacks, more pure arcane spells, does not have elements but is definitely magical in nature.
Ice - Control over water in solid state, minor control over water in liquid state.
Fire - Can control flames and heat in a manner that allows flames to occur.
Electricity - Control over lightning and electricity.
Holy- Generally healing magics.
Sanctified - Involves making objects or terrain sanctified and bestowing certain attributes, a sanctified blade might cause a person when struck to glow and cause wounds to bleed more.
light - Control over light, may blind enemies and sear them with light.
darkness - Control over darkness, may sow confusion amongst ranks, cause light to fade around them, or step through shadows.
Aelear (Obscure League):
“Knowledge? Where would knowledge lead us? Well, my knowledge will lead you to a shallow grave!”
Arcane Warriors. They seek to turn this new world into a paradise for the arcane. They seek to destroy anything that damages nature or those who wish to remove magical influences. Typical Races: Elves, Eladrin, Gnome. Exclusions: None
“Your magic will break against my shield like the tide against the shore.”
Martial Warriors. They seek to eliminate any foreign elements, such as the divine or the arcane. Typical Races: Goliaths, Dwarfs, Humans, Orcs. Exclusions: Elves, Eladrin, Gnome.
“I am the spear of Systanis! I am her arm in this realm and her will guides my strikes!”
Divine Warriors. They see themselves and their powers as the manifestations of the gods. As such, they see the powers of the Aelear as abominations. They will not allow magic unless it is in the name of the gods. Typical races: Human, Dwarf. Exclusions: None
Humans: Humans. Live up to 80 years old.
Elves: Typical fantasy elves, fair skin, hair color varies from silver to black. Native to the otherwold. They stand at 5’2” to 6’2”. 110 lbs to 200 lbs. Eye color varies widely, but typically a lighter shade. Pointed ears. Live up to 700 years old.
Goliaths: Large mountain-dwelling creatures with thick skin that matches the mountain slopes. They have dark patterns on their skin and rock-like substances grow on their skin. They stand at 6’8” to 7’11”. 300 lbs to 500 lbs. Skin color varies from an earth-like brown to a snow-like white. Eye colors are typically brown or black. Males are typically bald, while females have long hair, which usually matches the color of their skin, which they usually braid. Live up to 80 years old.
Eladrin: Native to the otherworld. Very similar to elves in appearance, except their eyes glow a strange hue and have no pupils. Live up to 800 years old.
Dwarfs: Hardy short warriors. They are known for their fine stone and metal-working. They stand at 4’ to 4’10”. They typically weigh 150-250 lbs. Males have long beards, while females have long intricately braided hair. Hair color varies widely. Eye color varies widely. Lives up to 180 years old.
Orc: Barbaric creatures typically not accepted in the civilized world. They have skin that varies from dark green to a green-brown. They typically stand at 6’0” – 6’10”. They typically weigh 190-280 lbs. They have dark hair and eye colors. Live up to 50 years old.
Gnome: Small creatures native to the otherworld. They are very similar in appearance to elves, except they stand at 3’1”- 3’9”. Typically weigh less than 80 lbs. Live up to 400 years old.
Half-races will be allowed.
The exclusions apply to half-races as well. An Elf/human hybrid will be barred from being a purist. Certain half-races will be barred as well; it doesn’t make sense to have a half gnome half goliath player at all.
If you want to be another race or half-race run it by me first, however, be reasonable about the creatures., giving details about the races like above. No aliens. No crystal beings (IE shardminds), no robots, no energy beings, no godlike beings, keep the creatures pg13-esque. I *might* allow vampires and werewolves. Shapeshifters can only become natural beasts, bears, horses, eagles, etc. They will be similarly sized to your character, I may allow doppelgangers. All shifters will have vulnerability to silver or whatever I so choose, or you can try to choose. Aside from vampires - no undead.
(If you wish to worship a deity not listed here, put it in your character sheet and tell me what your deity stands for and stands against.)
Character name (First and Last name):
Deity (if applicable)
Appearance (including equipment):
Mild curses only (IE Damn you! Go to hell! Anything that can be said on cable tv can be said here without us looking twice.)
No flaming. IC attacks is fine, but if you have a personal problem with another player take it elsewhere.
Minimum of 3 sentences per post (though more than that is encouraged)
PM character forms to me and ________, and provide a writing sample the length of a paragraph
Romances and deaths are permitted, provided they are kept PG-13
I reserve the right to remove people from this RP if they continually break the rules.
If the RP begins to meander I will move the plot along in any way possible. If you believe the RP is meandering let me or ________ know! Or try to push it along in some way yourself.
I would like at least 2 players in each of the three factions. However, I'd like no more than 12 players, as that will get very hectic later in the roleplay.
Critiquers have at it! Also, give me an idea for a name.
I like the ruleset and it shows promise for some growth, but it could use a little... spice. Have you a "Ground Zero" event in mind, something to spur the call to arms and force characters out on a journey or give them a mission?
I'll throw my hat in the ring for this one. Could be fun when the universe starts expanding.
Just a wandering shadow..
Simply brilliant! It's obvious alot of effort has gone into this. Clearly, the critiques of your previous RPs have made you into a much better GM/RPer!
Anyhoo, interested! Will post a CS once we get a little more interest.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
, on Flickr
I do in fact have a turning point in mind. The story will change drastically when that point occurs. For the first while the story will be about three factions vying for power. You might be able to guess what the second part of the story will be on, but I won't say so. As for a point that will get all the people into the fight, all players will already have a faction and will already be enlisted into the ranks of that faction. At this point of the story the fighting has been escalating for some time, skirmishes and battles are getting bigger and bigger, as well as more frequent. Many are predicting that the final battle will occur sometime soon, one that will change the face of the world as they know it. During the roleplay I will be dropping hints of something far, far worse than mortal armies clashing over idealism. I'm hoping to build up some anticipation in the playerbase for what will happen at this turning point. The beginning I'd like to have some character introductions and interactions with other players. I am considering something like the PCs will all be on neutral ground for one reason or another, but I haven't made up my mind. Still hoping for a co-host who I can bounce ideas off.
Born of the Wolf
This looks like it could be pretty cool, but I have two questions. First can we only specialize in 1 type of magic? Obviously we wouldn't be a master of multiple types, but could you say be a fire aelar with a minor skill with wind magic to help further enhance your primary magic (fire). Also would the shapeshifter be a type of magic/replacement or would it be a race/mutation in a race?
“We’re built of contradictions, all of us. It’s those opposing forces that give us strength, like an arch, each block pressing the next. Give me a man whose parts are all aligned in agreement and I’ll show you madness. We walk a narrow path, insanity to each side. A man without contradictions to balance him will soon veer off.”
“There's a slope down toward evil, a gentle gradient that can be ignored at each step, unfelt. It's not until you look back, see the distant heights where you once lived, that you understand your journey.”
"I think maybe we die every day. Maybe we're born new each dawn, a little changed, a little further on our own road"
I love this premise and the system seems very interesting. I would also be interested in Co-Hosting with you.
Alright, looks like we have enough interest for me to go forward with this RP. To answer your guy's questions, yes, you can have up to two magics, however you cannot be a master of both or either. Those who follow The Righteous can use Aelear magics as a secondary magic, your primary strength comes from divine magics. Aelear will follow the same ruleset, but vice versa. Expect some changes within the next few days. Those who are willing to co-host, I would like to see something else you have participated in or your experiences with RPing via PM.
As for shapeshifters, I'm going to say no magic use, magic involves delicate use of arcane and divine energies, and mixing that with a new form is catastrophically dangerous. and I *might* allow them to be part of The Purists.
Cool, sounds good. I'll wait until an OOC is out before I make my CS (I need time to come up with a character anyway), unless you'd prefer it done beforehand.
The Scarlet Lady
Are we allowed to have items that are imbued with magical traits or abilities?
my thought for the name would be some mix of Hubris and like the rise to power or the beginning of the end, that kinda thing.
Character name (First and Last name): Setta Delacoix
Faction: aelear – a giaonist – basic earth,
Deity (if applicable) – Obei – the creator – “ he who sets sun and moon, who breaths life and gives love to his children.” A principle god in the Old religion he stands for all that is life and the natural cycles of life. He stands against perversions of the natural such as the undead and against slavery, for no man has a right to control the destiny of another ( in a nutshell).
Appearance (including equipment): A brunhilde in every sense of the word, she appears barely human though her linage is mixed. Thick shoulder length amber hair with a light wave, Cinnamon skin with markings of shackles on neck wrist and ankles with about a dozen short clean cuts spotting her body, and emerald eyes with gold flecks with small brown bags underneath. Large heart shaped bubble gum lips sit beneath a petite nose and mirror slightly pointed ears.
Her physique – Kerri Walsh Jennings
Equipment: a set of onyx, obsidian, and green marble gauntlets that help focus her control of earth, a simple gladiator styled armor with a mix of metals and leather straps with underpinning that covers her completely save from the knee down and the elbow down.
Race: half elf
Freedom was an unknown idea to the child born unto Vectus house in Belesara City, The bastard of an heir apparent to a shipping merchant's empire in the sands. To conceal his discretion he sent the child away to the Maadi, a slave camp just south of a limestone quarry. The mines built endurance in the young slave and as every bud does in the spring of youth, she blossomed. Agile lithe but strong she was sold to a traveling merchant who knew of where her abilities would be best used, the Arenas in Mastaba village.
Trained in the gladiatorial arts she rose to great fame as The Desert Rose in her short time there. The sand spoke to her as she laid blood and body to rest upon it and whispered its secrets to her, how to control the very earth she had toiled under and upon. Bonds were broken from both her body and heart with a victory on her birthday. A man, nigh godly in his perfection waved his hand and the young desert rose was freed. The man vanished in the crowd but her former master gave her the man’s name. She set out from the desert in search of the one she heard had freed her, The Dragon of Stonebridge.
Last edited by catra20; 10-11-2013 at 10:35 PM.