1- The only confessions I can come up with are mean ones. ( I'll censor anything too horrible at my leisure. Or randomly )
2- Sometimes... I dream of cheese.
3- You're adorkable.
5- Hey Elendra you should just spill juice on yourself.
6- I can't get enough of this shit, god dammit.
7- I keep coming back to this site to relive a relevancy that has long since passed
8- Good job.
9- I have a lot of mental and emotional problems but I like to pretend I'm perfect - Hank
10- I prefer giving oral than putting my penis in something
11- I would tap Smiral...on the shoulder. Then slap her with a fish just for the lulz
12- I dropkick cats - Hank
13- I think Hank broke the rules about confessing anonymously. - Turt
14- I still think Foxes and Ace have relevancy if 7 is one of those two. If it's Sole...
15- I'd masticate so hard right now on RPG but nobody would want to see my teeth sooo... Hi?
16- I find the majority of you all annoying or idiotic, but can't help but enjoy spending time in spam and speaking with you all.
17- Confessions 9 and 11 aren't actually me. You're not fooling anyone, Justin. - actually Hank
18- Stop censoring my confessions! Why can't a man say he enjoys eating vaginas with his mouth? - The Guy Who Posted 10
19- Hank's no fun.
20- My only good quality is my above-average penis but it's not like I can get women to do anything with it.
21- Day 387- Tripz will still not marry me. - Dianne
22- Come on faggots, I need pathetic love confessions... preferably ones towards me. - J
23- People in spam tease me because they know I can't tease them back anymore. They are toothless cowards. - D
24- My dick served a whole luncheon, yo dick look like a munchkin~ ( inb4smiral )
25- I JUST WANNA PLAY BLORBS Y U NO LET ME ;__;
26- God only knows what I'd be without you.....Withoooooouuuuuuut, yooooooouuuuuu
27- I don't have the balls to make the jokes I want to make anymore. - not KB
28- my password is bigbootybitchesfrommars
29- ey #24, my dick the size of a pumpkin, your dick look like Macaulay Culkin. I love that song. - Jorick
30- I'm only here because I'm quietly hoping it lights off again like I guess it did last time.
31- I finally accomplished what I thought would be one of my greatest achievements, and I was left disappointed.
32- I'm probably going to leave Spam permanently in a few days when I move. Nobody really cares about me though, so I won't be missed.
33- Turt enjoys being the center of attention. - Turt
34- KB needs to just save all of his comedy gold for anonymous confessions.
35- 22 is really my love child from a drunken excursion in singapore
36- 300 lbs. of batter makes an awefully big biscuit
37- I feel the need to slam people's faces into my balls absolutely every single day.
38- Meowderp hello I am girl-child.
39- I keep needing to quit Spam to work on doing better at school, but I can't because I worked so hard to be a part of it. And yet, my work has so far been mostly fruitless.
40- This confession is anonymous. — Anonymous #38269
41- Jeeze, don't be pushy with the all caps and such.... >_< anyway, as always, I'm really tsundere for Nargle. less mean now, tho.
42- I don't kill spiders in my house because I still believe that somewhere I can become spiderman
44- You have captured my heart and I want you to keep it.
45- I asked god for a bike but I know he doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked for forgivness
46- I wish I wasn't such a caustic bastard and people actually liked me.
47- If I had a Spam crush, I'd be admitting it here. However, since most of you are people I'll never meet and will only ever admire for various witty remarks, I think it's unlikely I'll ever have a serious Spam crush.
48- Card is a really famous person and comes here to downplay himself to escape the spotlight
49- I secretly live a life of hunting things that go bump in the night. Also, I really love the smell of Aconitum. Google it.