Sophi, you move like old people fuck; slow and sloppy. Your apathy and lack of effort shits all over everything the 50 thousand generations of your ancestors have ever accomplished, and they frown upon you this day. Seize the day? More like seize the week with the rate you're moving. When Jabba the Hutt, a fictional slug monster that has the BMI index of a small nation has accomplished more than you have over the course of three movies, you know you have squandered all potential that has been offered to you by virtue of living in a first world country. As you sit more dormant than Jack Nicholson at the end of The Shining, know that every minute you squander behind the monitor, your parents are slowly downing hard liquor wondering where they steered wrong with you. Sloths seem more proactive, and they are creatures so slow and lazy they grow fucking moss on them.
If you don't get moving, the terrorists will win and the Vikings will steal your family and friends away to be sold as slaves, since your lethargy has caused a tear in the time-space continuum that has allowed that to happen. As you sit here, you let everyone you have ever loved down in the most spectacular way possible since Hindenburg.
Now, go forth and correct your follies. <3