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Originally Posted by Scribz
Please. Mike doesn't hug. He's physically incapable of hugging. Instead he'd get a shotgun erection (as in his penis becomes a shotgun), and he'd shoot whoever is bullying his daughter with a "BOOM BABY HOO-HA". Then, afterwards, he would eat steak with a side of bacon, made by his wife. Paint his body in red white and blue (but not france wise because they're whimpy woo wah's) and do the patriot act on his wife until she can't walk for year (in a good way).
Then he'd take a freedom dump. And balance is restored.