Reply With QuoteAbout rule #10: USE THE MIBBIT TRANSLATOR AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. The mods love it.
The Ten Commandments of the Roleplaying Universe.
Spoiler
The Big Ten:
We all know there are rules of the internet, right? Well, of course there are rules for the vast universe of Roleplayers! While some of these may be humorous and 4chan flavoured, please take it with a heavy heart; these ten commandments are the 10 rules you (as a roleplayer) should abide at ALL costs. You have been warned.
Rule #1: All Roleplayers are either Nerds, Geeks, Video Gamers or Aspiring artists- No exceptions.
Thou shall be of a category.
It doesn't matter what you say. You are one of those.
Nerd: An intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.
Geek: A peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual
Video Gamer: Self explanitory. If you don't know what this is, then you aren't one. And if you are; pick up a dictionary, dumbass.
Aspiring artist:
Aspire; to want, or seek to be something.
Artist; ...Really?
Rule #2: All Mary/Gary Sue's will be destroyed.
Thou shall avoid mary-sue's and seek to destroy them.
No one likes a jack-ass, so don't be one. If you're character has perfect tits, a nice ass, is average height and slender and is either really rich, or really powerful- you are violating this rule. NO PERFECT CHARACTERS. DON'T FUCKING DO IT. You will die.
Originally Posted by Outsiders look in
Rule #3: The GM will be an asshole. No exceptions.
Thou shall be crude and ignorant as a GM; and offer cookies.
GM's are inclinded to be whiney assholes who want, want, want but never give. They will always find problems in your posts and your character sheets- no matter what. Perfection will always be obsolete to them- even near perfection. If they say "kiss your own ass" well you better find a way to bend in that direction, and quick. GM's can camoflauge so make sure to keep a look out; they like to sneak up on you. Here are some ways to spot a GM:
1: They say shit like-
"Damn boy, rollin' like a big shot."
and
"They see me rollin', they hatin'.."
2. Their status message usually contains some sort of complaint like-
"My Rp is tanked dude."
and
"I really hope my Rp doesn't die! T^T "
or quite possibly
"______ is excited about his/her roleplay. It's the BEST!"
3. Their visitor messages contain one of the following-
"Hey dude, is my character sheet accepted?"
"Whens the IC gonna be up?"
"UR A BASTARD. FUCK YOU."
Rule #4: Plots will include Romance- Deal with it.
Thou shall provide cheesey romance.
It's inevitable, folks. No matter where you run, no matter where you hide- there WILL be romance. It doesn't matter if you clearly say "No romance!" or "NO HUMPING EACHOTHER!" - it will happen. And it usually takes place between the Alpha male character and the less-important-but-hot-female-character. Sometimes, it will even escalate to nothing more than one-liner cyber sex; and your finger will quiver helplessly over the report button, but you won't click it. Why? Because you wanna know so badly what's gonna happen next.
Ways to prevent cheesey romance:
Haha nice try. No solution, sorry.
(It's gonna happen, suck it up.)
Rule #5: Advanced will always be elitist.
Thou shall sign the injury waiver at the Advanced doorway.
Shut up. I know you are all shaking your heads, but it is true. No matter what you say- Advanced will always be packed full of elitist bastards and their 'fancy reputations'. You can't avoid it- it is the sole reason that newbs start out in basic. Advanced will scare newbs; no exceptions. Once you enter you will be sucked into a realm of SPELL-CHECKANATICS and GRAMMAR NAZI'S.
Ways to spot Spell-checkanatics and Grammar Nazi's:
1.) The say stuff like:
"You forgot the period in your sentence."
"You didn't spell that right."
"You didn't capitalize your F in Fuck you."
2.) They do stuff like:
-Constantly editing posts
-Always twitchy
-Never shut up
-Have a tendency to be neat freaks or control freaks
Warning: By entering Advanced you here by vow to give up your life and spend hours writing up ten page responses with zero spelling mistakes. Violators will be shot- survivors will be shot again. With lasers. And cupcakes.
Rule #6: Casual will always be the middle ground for "WTF?" moments..
Thou shall post many "WTF's?" in Casual.
Have you ever been in a Casual roleplay and everything is going smoothly- until BAM. That one odd guy, the odd one out, decides to join. It's like he's got the ego of Hugh Heffner, but the typing skills of a 13-yr-old myspace whore. They often come into threads like:
"Hi guys, can I join?"
You think, "Sure, why not, he looks decent."
But OH NO. You go to look at his post and your brain melts out of your ear.
CAUTION: Do not try to scare away with insults. They come with nuclear weapons and twinkies.
Rule #7: Basic is for noobs.
Thou shall leave all your sanity in Basic.
Basic. We ALL know that place. We've all been to that place. It's a horrid hunting ground for new comers who haven't found their place- and some that never will and will stay in Basic for the entirety of their stay on a RPG forum. The place usually contains Twilight Rp, Harry Potter, Cyber sex, Gifted Teens and Pokemon- it is highly advised that all Non-noobs wear surgical masks because rumor has it that the Swine Flu started there.
Even Domo hates them.
Rule #8: All members suck up to Mods/Admins.
Thou shall suck up to the Gods.
You may not want to admit to it, but you know in the depths of your twisted little mind that you have done it. We aspire (there's that word again) to be like them, we want their power, we want to be friends with them if only to SMELL the power. We use emoticans like :bow: and :arr: in their presence to impress them. We'll manipulate them and use their powers for bad to get back at our 4chan loving noobs who constantly pester us. Don't be ashamed- everyone does it. You ever wonder why Mahz has the most profile views? Betcha yer' not wondering anymore.
You, as a member, must do whatever you can in your power to use and manipulate your fellow mods and admins! And if you can, try to butter 'em up and if you're lucky, you might get a nice big promotion to moderator status (Cuz that's been done before).
Don't forget: Anonymous eats failures for breakfast. So hurry, pick a mod, any mod, and strike!
Rule #9: All Mods/Admins are two-faced.
Thou shall not trust the superior ones.
It's true. Don't trust them.
The smarter of this audience may have noticed I have completely made a paradox to turn Members and Mods against eachother with Rules 8 and 9- but nonetheless-
Don't trust them. They appear like harmless and good citizens of RPG but once you get on their bad side- WAM. They just pull out their ban-hammer in public and swing away with it. They've got no self-morals and they like to mingle with elitists, especially the ones who suck-up to them because that is where they get their self worth.
If you ARE a mod and are not two-faced; then you fail at life and need to die. So start back stabbing right now before someone see's you! It is your goal and desire to crush with your mighty ban-hammer and impress the damsels (members) that await you at the finish line. You are not allowed to appear casual, but always must seem superior and royal around your commoners.
Remember: There is nothing worse than failing. Rpg feeds 4chan the failures.
Rule #10: The IRC is for Spam.
Thou shall go to the IRC for spamz.
Don't fucking argue. You press the little button, and you get your ass in there and you make LULS, God damn it! The IRC is the only place where noobs, casual roleplayers and elitists can come together to watch the people with golden stars power-abuse others to death. It's much fun and encouraged that you wear a helmet to avoid further brain damage and also know your IRC controls like /ignore (to avoid the chat speakers and nudists) and /me.
Disclaimer: Read the damn spoiler at the top.
Last edited by Bunnay; 10-29-2009 at 12:24 PM.
About rule #10: USE THE MIBBIT TRANSLATOR AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. The mods love it.
what
XD Nice, HJW.
I totally wrote this when I was half asleep like a zombie at 1-2am.
And just so everyone knows- this is supposed to be humorous, not taken literally.
So stop your bitchin! A little birdy told me some of you have been complaining.
Well get over it.
You're turning RPG into 4chan. One of the reasons I came here was to rid myself of that place. Damn you, Bunnay.
Though it was pretty funny... Wait, was that Mary Sue pic actually posted by someone? As their character? Really?
Your ad here!
No, seriously, I'll probably just recommend your RP.
You can never escape 4chan. XD It's virtually impossible.
And who knows- MAYBE! @-@ I've seen some pretty bad ones.
I keep trying to get out, but they keep pullin' me back in.
Unfortunately, the commandment on Basic is entirely true.
Your ad here!
No, seriously, I'll probably just recommend your RP.
That was quite possibly the most enjoyable syllabus I have ever read.
You should be a college professor.
Seconded, love it Bunnay. x3
Brooke is a weeaboo
Thank yew guys. I would suck at being a teacher, though. I'd never get anything done and all the students would mysteriously get A's.
You'd make a perfect college professor.
"That ain't juniper."
-RobotJarvis
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