Lumber Jack rules:
[1]Look good
[2]Don't die
[3]If you must die look good doing so.
Freaky Fred
Hello new friend, my name is Fred
the words you hear are in my head.
I say, I said my name is Fred,
and I've been... very naughty.
The story I'm about to tell,
I tell you, I will tell you well,
Is of my dear aunt Muriel,
and just how I've been... naughty.
Voila the farm. My aunt lives here,
with precious pup, and husband dear.
My heart beats fast as I drew near,
I feel so nice... and naughty.
FYI
Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.